Follow me: Last meal & Porn

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0:00

Intro and Halloween Excitement

3:25

Could You Be a Cult Leader?

10:03

The Wonder Woman Drink

26:54

Workout Tips and Body Image

42:24

Death Row Last Meals

55:44

Embarrassing Stories and Pranks

1:04:11

Weird Places to Take a Dump

1:28:04

Upgrading to the New iPhone

1:56:01

Closing Thoughts and Outro

Transcript

Intro and Halloween Excitement

SPEAKER_17 0:10

Yo, it's Winston and Ryan, the unfiltered crew. Fat bearded legends with opinions for you. Exercise laps, no filter, no cap or drink, make a speaker, we just talk and rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yelling loud. Every topic gets dissed. Beard so thick, they can smuggle a brisket. Voices boomin' harder than the 12 minutes of kick, grab your low star. We ain't polite. Welcome to the show, it's a bar fight tonight. Just talking dumb, still the no rules, no shame. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas P, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's wins in the fine, keep it raw, keep it tight. Just talking dunk, built the no rules, no shame. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas P, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's winst in the body, keep it raw, keep it tight. Ryan got the volume of a megaphone riot. Winston got the boots, but his liver stayed quiet. Topics jump wild like a bull in the shoot. From brisket to politics, no subjects move. Barbecued stains on a microphone grip. Spit fire hotter than a jalapeno dip. Put task kings, yeah. We talk that smack. If you're looking for chill, better send it back.

SPEAKER_07 1:20

What's up, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Podcasters Looking for Love. I'm Winston. I'm looking for love. And here we are. Just me and you. I'm Brian, and I'm not looking for love. I got mine. You're not gonna get my ass beat. Oh shit. Oh straight out the gate. I guess I'm on this boat by myself. Getting my ass beat as soon as I get home. Well, as soon as this comes out, maybe I'll warn her beforehand. Yeah, you get some time. Uh uh. You're looking good over there, bro. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. Yeah, I like that. Got that uh black and orange on because um next week is Halloween. Dude, next week is Halloween. One of my favorite times of year. Oh yeah. We got some special treats for y'all, so y'all better better tune in for sure. It's candy dicks. Well, probably not. No. No. I'm not eating them. I'm not eating them either. You know, you're gonna fucking set them up in the oh. Right. Why are they so tiny? Bro, how would you know? You you've only seen your dick. I know. Oh, tiny. Oh, the boy got that. You hear that, ladies? www.jessal gameunfiltered. at gmail.com. Do you say the www? No, you don't say the www. Yes, it's last time. I'm Brian. I'm Winston. That's Winston. Well, skill with the yellow. Halloween's next week. Halloween. I'm so excited. Fucking amped. I'm fucking amped for Halloween. I'm drinking a fucking energy drink. I'm just amped all around. Oh yeah, dude. That sucks for you. Because you know how I get on the energy drinks. I'm just gonna.

SPEAKER_04 2:57

Oh, yeah, I know. Dude, when you talk to me on the phone sometimes when you're driving and you're like, you you won't give me a second to even talk. I'm like, you just drink an energy drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:09

Get ready for that tonight. Yeah, whenever y'all are tuning in.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

That's right. We hope you guys tune in.

SPEAKER_07 3:15

Let's um start the show.

Could You Be a Cult Leader?

SPEAKER_01 3:18

So I just had a conversation with God. And he says that I have to sleep with everyone's wives.

SPEAKER_07 3:33

Yeah, yeah. Um, that's funny. Yeah, no. Um, do you feel like you could be a cult leader? Uh, it would be it might be cool. It might be a fun adventure. I'm not gonna lie. Sounds like a a lot of a lot of sex. Yeah. Oh. Like getting grapes fed to you and shit.

SPEAKER_04 3:54

You know, like they do in the fucking cartoons or whatever.

SPEAKER_07 3:58

Right. I don't know why it looks like that. Every week. Every week it's something fucking dumb as well. It's always something dumb as fuck. Um, dude, I feel like I could be a cult leader. Yeah, what means you say that? Follow me. Yeah. Basically it. I like to talk and I could be like, hey, bruh, you know, life sucks. God came down and told me that y'all should give me some Skittles. Right. Come on, come holler at your boy. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. What would your pitch be? Ooh, what would my pitch be? Yeah. I don't think I would go the alien route. I don't think I would go that route. That's more of a Scientology thing. You definitely get some white girls though. Ooh, with the aliens? Yeah. Like I got probed. Now the aliens are coming through me. Right. They gave me the tools to probe y'all to send y'all to a higher higher to be a higher being. Right. So I'm just and the dudes are like, what about us? We want to be probed too, alien Winston. Girls only. I need all your wives, just like old boy said. Right. Bro, mine would be um I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 5:08

I would probably just follow me. Just I would just.

SPEAKER_07 5:12

Why do we want to follow you? Because look at me. Okay, I'm looking at you. What what what makes it special? Come with me. The world is ending. Do you have benefits in a 401k that we can apply for? No, we have a tent in the desert. What's in the tent? My dick. So basically, with that being said, I probably would not have a following. A following. Words are hard. It's just like a business. You gotta have a business model and you've got to have a mission statement. So my mission statement is follow me. That's all I know to do. I feel like that would work.

SPEAKER_08 5:52

The follow me.

SPEAKER_07 5:55

Would you follow me? Again, I'm gonna go back to my uh bystander that's watching you do this on the side of the street. Why do we want to follow you? Follow me. Why? Because I said Where are you going? To the Wendy's. Are we getting a four for four? Getting that$5 biggie bag. Ooh. You paying though. This doesn't sound fun. I can just go myself. Send your wife. I don't have one. I'm looking for love, remember? Oh, yeah, yeah. Um, do you feel like you could join a cult and not even know it? Ooh, I think we've done that a couple times. I joined a couple of them. Right. A couple of cults been uh ingested in. We all had a uniform. Yeah. A couple of times. Yeah. Couple of times. Hey, um last week, I promised you a drink. You did? I did promise you a drink. And guess what? What was it? The Wonder Woman? Yes, we're gonna make the Wonder Woman. Think more green. Um Green Lantern. Yep, that's what it is. I'm ready for it. You keep thinking, and I'm gonna make it. Okay, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_04 7:07

Um let's see. You got the green machine. You've got um what are other things that are green?

SPEAKER_07 7:21

Um the things that are green. Celery. A celery? Is it a celery shot? Are we getting healthy?

SPEAKER_09 7:31

We are not getting healthy.

SPEAKER_07 7:35

We are not getting healthy, sir.

SPEAKER_04 7:37

Okay. Okay, I'll crack something open.

SPEAKER_07 8:07

Hey look, I don't know what the name of this drink is, but I'm gonna say it looks incredible. Ooh, is it witch's brew for Halloween? I fucking hate Hennessy, bro. I'm only doing this for you.

SPEAKER_04 8:39

I hate that uh you made it and slide it close to me.

SPEAKER_07 8:45

Unfiltered, baby. Get up. Let them girl, let the girls see your see your hips. When I dip, you dip, we dip. Alright. So uh I've got my uh make sure it's mixed good or it's gonna fucking I probably didn't make it right. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 9:04

Just half and half.

SPEAKER_07 9:05

I don't know what the Wonder Woman's supposed to be. That's an incredible haul. Oh. Fucking sliding again like a fucking hobbit. Quit moving them hips. Yeah. I spelled my name. Never mind. Come on. He said it. No, because I knew what you were saying. Cheers, buddy.

SPEAKER_04 9:26

Cheers, bro.

SPEAKER_07 9:31

It's tasty. It hurts. It hurts a lot.

SPEAKER_04 9:36

I like that. It's tasty. I could drink a gallon.

SPEAKER_07 9:42

You know what you do?

SPEAKER_06 9:43

If you drink a gallon of fucking hypnotic ahennessine?

The Wonder Woman Drink

SPEAKER_07 9:47

Number one, diabetes. I thought it was just gonna be the first three letters die. Number two is you're definitely gonna fight somebody. That's just part of what it is. As you die. Yeah. Love that. Clip it. Oh, oh. Yes. So my new thing is like, um, I'm writing shit down. Right. Because my mind is not a steel trap anymore. As y'all saw me read. Uh matter of fact, we can go back to that TikTok that popped up.

SPEAKER_16 10:28

Next one's me.

SPEAKER_15 10:32

Have you ever had a dream that that you um you had you'll you could you'll do that's literally fucking me.

SPEAKER_07 10:43

That's fucking great.

SPEAKER_04 10:44

And that's a very accurate representation.

SPEAKER_07 10:48

Like so um we went and got subway tonight before we started the pod. Um was that dude in the Dollar General talking about to us? Um he's free.

SPEAKER_04 11:03

This man said, Hey, y'all ever see the movie where the two guys come in in the restaurant and they just be looking, and they one guy knows everything that's going on while the dude in the back cooking.

SPEAKER_07 11:18

Right. And the dude behind him was like, Oh yeah, I saw that movie. And I was like, and the dude was like, I'm a regular person, I'm a regular person with computers in his backpack. They're the ones, I'm me, they're the ones. And I was like, I don't know. We're gonna get stabbed when we walk out of here. Yeah, I told him I was like, he's gonna kill us when we leave here. Dude. He thinks we're the ones, and I don't know what that means, and it's kind of scary. Are we the chosen ones? I'm not.

SPEAKER_04 11:50

I don't think I am either. Well, we know you're not because you can't get a cult following.

SPEAKER_03 11:54

Follow me!

SPEAKER_04 11:56

No!

SPEAKER_03 11:57

Right.

SPEAKER_07 11:58

What was your what was your pitch again? Um You got analy probed. I'd be like pitch. Follow me. I was alien abducted, and I saw the true meaning of the universe, and the aliens bestowed upon me the material and the and and the and the tools necessary to allow you to be able to see what I saw. Are you gonna write a book? But I have to probe you first. Me? Females only. No guys. No guys, no guys. That's already suspect. I'm not letting my wife go to that. She's like, I gotta go to the I gotta go to the local old anal probing again. Again? You wanna be called that? Again? No, we'd be we'd be called uh probes for prosperity. P.O.P. Yeah.

unknown 12:47

Pop!

SPEAKER_07 12:48

PLP, hold it down. Yeah. Um what's been good with you? Shit, bro. Uh just doing some thinking. A lot of thinking. Um you know, you just started hitting the gym and everything, right? Say it again. You just have you started hitting the gym yet? I like hit that jank one time. I like gave the door a fist pound and I was out. Well.

SPEAKER_04 13:17

When we do start going back to the gym or um, you know, you go on your own or whatever. I've got a guy here that might have some tips for some workouts.

SPEAKER_07 13:30

Okay. Let me turn my attention. I need some I need some tips. Ow. I can hear the fucking chair. That's awesome. Can you hear it? You know we can always hear things, but then we won't.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Here. Chances are you don't know how to squat. And I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I'm gonna teach you how to squat properly. Just give this a little wipey poo. All right, check it out. I'd recommend squatting in the Smith machine. That way you can really sit in it. Now, you want to take a wide stance, toes angled out. This is good setup. Watch my glute guys as I stick him in the taking a little poopy in the woods there.

SPEAKER_07 14:10

A little poopy.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

It's position here. It's like home damage. I want to make sure I'm kicking my knees out. You never want the knees to cave in. You're kicking out, driving through the heels as you squat up. You gotta keep your chest up, chin up, core tight, booming.

SPEAKER_07 14:23

But why he got his girlfriend's shorts on?

unknown 14:26

I'm telling you right now, if you can.

SPEAKER_07 14:27

He also does like nutrition. Big old dump truck.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

I've been doing it for 10 years. It's working for me.

SPEAKER_07 14:39

Why were you watching this?

SPEAKER_02 14:40

So I think fruit is the most important part of the grocery shop, in my opinion. If you if you ever encounter anyone that says don't eat fruit, guys, I would run away from that person. Kind of ironic that my favorite fruit are juicy peaches. Wow. Look at these soft, plush buns. Look at all this cake, guys. This is cake mania. There's so much thick cake ass buns. I'm going cake and crazy. Really important in the grocery stuff that you get yourself a massive meat stick. My advice invest in your nutrition. Delete your Uber Eats and your skiff to dishes, all that stuff. Stop eating out. Go to the grocery store once a week. Buy your proteins, your fruits, your vegetables. You're gonna feel amazing, you're gonna look amazing, and you're gonna get some nice juicy peaches. Get excited.

SPEAKER_07 15:28

Bro, that's probably the gayest I'd ever saw. What's gayer? That or sucking dick? Sucking dick. Yeah. Yeah. Sucking dick. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 15:41

Um, but that's a close second. That's a close second. I mean, you basically was watching porn.

SPEAKER_07 15:48

No, I don't I don't think it's it would be categorized as porn.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

He's he's all obviously covered up and everything, but uh, you know, he does have some good uh workout and health tips, you know, ass or not, you know, dude was saying like go and get some fucking fruit and delete the DoorDash and shit.

SPEAKER_07 16:07

I could I could lose it. Yeah, I could have done that through audio. Yeah, but now you gotta see what you can make yourself to be. I'm mad that I was on my phone trying to look for an album, right? So not not all my pictures are up there, and I could feel you looking at me. So let me look up at this video real quick, and it's just this dude's taint asshole and balls. Well, you know, whenever you play a clip, I watch your clip, so yeah. I was trying to do something while you fucking were searching, and then they it I couldn't find my albums on my old iPhone. Yeah, I got it now. I'm glad you do. Um, I have somebody else that can give us some workout tips. Let me see. That dude around that dude's strong as fuck. That's not a dude. Look at that outfit. Outfits don't really make a person. All right. Well, would you hit? I you can't no man can hit that. You get hit by that. Well, that's pretty great. Pretty gay.

SPEAKER_18 17:26

Howdy, y'all. My name is Rick Strongback. I'm a practitioner of the strongback. Speeds of strength, as you will have seen performed at the circus. And today I'm going to be bending more steel horseshoes into hearts.

SPEAKER_06 17:39

Where do you bring that from?

SPEAKER_18 17:40

I've been getting a lot of physics lately, and people are asking me, how do I stay so positive when there are so many horrible things going on around us? And the truth is He stays out of the sun. But the show must go.

SPEAKER_05 17:55

He's under a circus tent most of the time. Right.

SPEAKER_18 17:58

One of the reasons entertainers like me continue to perform when there's something horrible going on in the world. Basketball is because there needs to be some hope in the darkness.

SPEAKER_07 18:08

Stop talking, bend the horseshoe. Do the trick.

SPEAKER_05 18:15

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_18 18:16

Because without hope, why we keep going?

SPEAKER_05 18:18

Bend it, shut up.

SPEAKER_18 18:24

If y'all get that Superman reference right there, hope, yep, you got it.

SPEAKER_06 18:29

I didn't get it.

SPEAKER_18 18:30

There needs to be a little magic in the world.

SPEAKER_06 18:41

I'm gonna be honest with you once again.

SPEAKER_07 18:44

I don't think I can spend the night anymore.

SPEAKER_06 18:47

This is some uh suspect shit you're here watching.

SPEAKER_07 18:50

Nah, bro. Uh I saved all these for you. You're gonna wake up. I mean, I'm gonna wake up, all the lights on, robot going, alarm going off, and you're just in here fucking bending horseshoes with fucking shorty short jean shorts on. I won't come back. It'll be the end of the podcast. Well, if the podcast ever ends and y'all go, why? Just know it's that. Yeah. That'll take the fucking cake. None of that shit's ever gonna happen. What, you bending a horseshoe or are you in fucking short jeans? All of that. Why wouldn't you want to bend a horseshoe? Why would I want to bend a horseshoe? I don't know. It was pretty cool. If he didn't have the fucking jorts on, that was a cool feat. Those weren't jorts. This is a different name for those, man. You got a lot of men wearing my girls' clothes up here.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

Yeah, I know. Um I can show you someone that isn't wearing your girls' clothes or my clothes.

SPEAKER_07 19:46

Now, I have a question. Yes, yes. Yeah. Your question, the answer to your question is yes. Okay, I want to know if he was my question. Oh, no. That's not what I thought your question was. Okay, we'll have another one. Uh, is that blackface? Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_06 20:09

That's literally a black face. That's literally a blackface. That 100%. He's canceled. Jack. Jack. Jack Jackie would have any. Fuck, man. Why do you give me shit like this? Why can't his name be fucking Steve Irwin? God damn it, that's already a person. Why couldn't it be Steve Smith? That's person too, but a little bit better.

SPEAKER_07 20:33

So are you saying that because you know this is over in like India? Racist. No, no, it literally is from India. I don't give a fuck where it's from. But you're saying why can't he have a why can't he have a name I can pronounce? Same as Jackie. Yeah, you were talking about the Wadavi. Wadahavani? Yeah. Wada Havani? Let's see. Got some other good ones for you. Uh have did you go to church last Sunday?

SPEAKER_09 21:02

No.

SPEAKER_07 21:03

No. Okay. Did you? I was with you. So did you go to church? Were you with me on Sunday? Oh yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, I've been seeing these clips go around Instagram and it's making me want to go to church more and more, but more than that, find one of these church churches that has a super fun pastor.

SPEAKER_06 21:29

Sound like he said pastor.

SPEAKER_07 21:56

He's like, I got it from here, fellas.

SPEAKER_00 21:59

One day you'll end up here, or someone that you love will end up here. It could even happen today.

SPEAKER_07 22:07

Sounds like he's premeditating some shit. I don't know. I don't want to get started on religion. I don't know. It's just talking about that's a cult leader. Uh yeah. You know what? Follow me!

SPEAKER_04 22:21

No, that's what this guy's saying.

SPEAKER_21 22:29

Wow. What a ride. I've never been on a roller coaster like this before.

SPEAKER_06 22:37

A roller coaster and fucking turn.

SPEAKER_07 22:42

How can they afford that?

SPEAKER_04 22:43

Oh, you know how they can afford that. Hey, imagine like you're sitting there in the audience and he's going around the back of this thing and you're just waiting for him to come around going that fucking slow.

SPEAKER_07 22:55

I believe. He wouldn't see me. He wouldn't see me leave. That's ridiculous. Uh oh, you know what? Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 23:26

Today we have Sonic Dragon Ball Z. Yeah. My anime fans. Marvel University, Spider-Man. What? A dead Tom today, not Jerry.

SPEAKER_20 23:47

Look at this. We got Scooby-Doo. Okay, we love Scooby. Okay. Let's go here. Look at that. Powerpuff girls. Remember that helmet. Uh-huh. Go over here. What's that? Right? Uh-huh. Harry Potter. Jesus Christ. Uh-huh. Let's go right here. We all know this face. Megatron. Transformers. And then let's go right here. Okay. Wally.

SPEAKER_07 24:14

That one might have been right. That wasn't right. No. What was that? I'll be honest. I don't know. But it won't know Wally. Look like Wally. Oh, R2D2? Nope, not that either. You need to learn. Ooh, what you got over there?

SPEAKER_04 24:30

A little drinky poo. A little drinky poo. You know, it can't be uh an unfiltered just talking podcast.

SPEAKER_07 24:37

Right. If I ain't got me a drinkie poo. Still sipping on this uh incredible hawk, one woman. How do you feel about pranks?

SPEAKER_04 24:49

Yeah. I've been on uh the receiving and the giving end of pranks before.

SPEAKER_06 24:54

Yeah. Check this out.

SPEAKER_07 25:08

What would you do if that happened to you? Bro, I don't know. That would be I tried to skip over it, and that shit was like, Dolly button. Yeah. Oh man. That's that's fucking funny. Um, I got a question for you. Why does that keep coming up like that? Hey, real quick. Remember that time we threw that ball and you hit that black lady? I see. You didn't. I don't know why you have to say black lady. We hit a lady.

SPEAKER_05 25:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 25:45

Doesn't matter her color. I know. All right, here's what happened. We are children. We uh we were at Walmart and um had a fucking like lacrosse ball. Boom, boom, bouncing that shit. And we bounced it back and forth like five times, and we should have stopped because that's that's all we that's all we should have done. And I did this fucking like wrist, I did like this, like a yo-yo motion. Super hard, super hard, and that shit bounced over it. I tried to jump for it. My fat ass was trying to get it in the air because I knew it was about to go back there. And that shit went straight down the aisle and just hit this lady, and I ran. We both did.

SPEAKER_06 26:30

Winston had the cart.

SPEAKER_07 26:31

Oh, yeah. He's running, he's like linked on the cart, he's going as fast as he fucking can. Hey, you know, like the fucking uh like Scooby-Doo? Yep. And then you know where he ran us to? Because I followed him.

SPEAKER_06 26:44

You know where we went? A dead end in the store, right in the dead corner.

Workout Tips and Body Image

SPEAKER_07 26:47

So as we're leaving, I'm like, I'm literally, I was said, Winston, you think it hit her? And the girl, the lady next to me goes, 'Are you looking for this? And it was the ball,' and I was like, Jeez, I'm sorry. But why do we run? We should have just saw her before. Like, we didn't do it on purpose. Not like I fucking like fastballed that shit at her. Right. Yeah. She's like, my bad lady. We was fucking bouncing the ball. Yeah. We got a little out of hand. That's my B. My bad playboy. That's my bad playboy. Hey, but you know what? It is what it is.

SPEAKER_05 27:20

Headshot.

SPEAKER_07 27:21

Right. Hey, um, I got a question for you. Go for it. If you were in jail, right? Right. And you were sentenced to death, what would your last meal be? This is a good one. This is a good one. Do I what are my limitations? Huh? What are my limitations? There are none.

SPEAKER_03 27:49

I mean, you can't eat human.

SPEAKER_07 27:50

I don't know. Can't be like ring me a guy's dick. Not what I'm talking about. A couple of balls. Not what I'm talking about. So you know, like, there's a spending limit on that shit. No, I don't know that. You know why? Because I don't go to jail. Okay. Well. What do you have to look into? Like, if I ever killed somebody and got sentenced to death, how much could I spend? No, but like the conversation has gotten brought up before, and I've Googled like. So what's the limit? I think it depends, but you can't just basically what I'm getting at is like you can't just be like, let me get 37 McDoubles. Right. I'm saying a meal. Right. Entree, two sides, a drink. And a bread. Okay, so there are limitations. Sure. You made me put some on, yes. Alright, so I'd probably go with steak and lobster. Well, that's two. Two entrees. Okay. Um.

SPEAKER_06 28:53

I'm just fucking with you. That's fine.

SPEAKER_04 28:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 28:55

I'm the warden. Okay, cool. Hey boy, what you want for your last meal?

SPEAKER_04 29:00

Um, uh if I'm about to go, uh, I was hoping maybe I could get a steak and a lobster.

SPEAKER_07 29:09

I might have to ask the governor on that one.

SPEAKER_05 29:11

Governor! Can he have steak and lobster? Steak and lobster. You said he wants steak and lobster? Steak and lobster! Steak and lobster.

SPEAKER_07 29:22

No! Kill him! Yeah, he said yeah, you can have it.

SPEAKER_04 29:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 29:27

Thank you so much. Alright. Um What are you gonna have for your size, boy? I don't know why the warden calls him boy. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 29:36

Um, can I have some mashed potatoes that have like the skin in them and some chunks? Sure. Thanks. And uh some mac and cheese.

SPEAKER_03 29:48

What are you what are you in what are you why are you on death row? I know I'm the warden and know everything.

SPEAKER_07 29:52

Why are you on death row? Um I I I killed like 30 people. Don't believe it. No. Believe it. Anyways.

SPEAKER_05 30:02

I sent it through the mail.

SPEAKER_07 30:04

You did what to the mail?

SPEAKER_05 30:06

I sent it through the mail, the poison.

SPEAKER_07 30:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 30:09

That sounds more like it.

SPEAKER_07 30:11

Um, so you want steak and lobster, mashed potatoes with skin and chunks in it. Fucking weird.

SPEAKER_05 30:17

The red skin like the like the red skin. Potatoes.

SPEAKER_07 30:21

That's racist. Oh. There's a whole team that got canceled for that shit. What kind of potatoes do you want? The red ones. Okay. All right. The red skins. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:35

He said he wants a red skin.

SPEAKER_05 30:39

The engines?

SPEAKER_09 30:40

Oh, there we go.

SPEAKER_05 30:44

I don't think he can have that.

SPEAKER_07 30:48

Yeah, I'll get you some uh red potatoes. Thank you. Um cheese. Mac and cheese, okay. Yes, please. Yeah. You want a bread? Um, Texas toast. I gotta go to Texas to get that?

SPEAKER_05 31:02

No, just a thick ass toast.

SPEAKER_07 31:03

Thick ass toast, okay.

SPEAKER_05 31:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 31:06

Yeah. I mean, that's uh to be honest, that is a great last meal. Thanks. No, no, you're out of that now. Okay, cool, cool, cool. We're done. Yeah, you can stop doing that little nerdy ass boy. Oh, yeah, no, I forget. Thanks for the Redskins. Clip that. Yeah, clip it. Clip it. I do that. I try to do it away until then.

SPEAKER_04 31:31

What you got going on over there?

SPEAKER_07 31:33

I'm like sniffling and shit, dude. Sniffler? Yeah, fucking.

SPEAKER_06 31:37

Everybody in my fucking house is sick. And I've been fucking Floyd Mayweathering that shit. Just I ain't even had to throw no jabs. I'm just fucking dipping and dodging the fucking baby, trying to fucking stick his fingers in my mouth. You know, it's just fucking my oldest wants to dap me up every five seconds. What's good, dad? What up, dad? What's good with it, dad? Leave me alone, bro.

SPEAKER_07 32:02

Yeah, uh, Slurvy be trying to dap me up too when I come home. It's all Paul. Yeah. She be like, what up, Playboy? You bring me some treats? You bring me some money. That's a deep ass voice for a girl cat. I can't do the voice. Hang on.

SPEAKER_14 32:20

What up, Playboy? You bring me some treats? You bring me some cat nib, you know? Legalized.

SPEAKER_07 32:31

Yeah. Um, ask me. Well, uh, yeah, I was getting there, but Dan, can we have a fucking two-way conversation? Yeah, we can, but you know how this goes. It goes all over. It's unfiltered. Why is it like that again? I don't fucking know, man. I ain't fucking with it no more. It'll just look like that and they'll say the date for some reason. That's not our the date right now. Right. That's fucking stupid. Uh, you know what? I know what we'll do. We'll put it up right here. Okay. The whole time?

unknown 33:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:04

Make it smaller though.

SPEAKER_04 33:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 33:08

So it's your last meal. What do you want?

SPEAKER_08 33:23

I want lamb chops.

SPEAKER_05 33:26

Lamb chops. How many are we talking here? Are we talking like one, two, or six?

SPEAKER_08 33:32

So many options. Six, probably. Can I keep the leftovers? The bones? If I have any left over, can I take them back to my cell? No.

SPEAKER_07 33:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 33:51

Four.

SPEAKER_07 33:53

Alright, so four lamb chops. On the sod. Let me get some green beans. Okay. Macaroni and cheese. Mac and cheese, got it. Some cornbread. Cornbread.

unknown 34:06

Cornbread.

SPEAKER_07 34:07

Yeah, that's decent. And for the drink. And for the drink.

SPEAKER_08 34:14

Let me get a nice cold Mikelob Ultra.

SPEAKER_04 34:18

Ooh. Can't have alcohol. Sorry. Pick something else. It's my last meal. You can't have alcohol. Pick something else. It's my last meal.

SPEAKER_07 34:25

Yeah, I know. I can have alcohol. The alcohol is gonna fuck up with the lethal injection, and it's just I'm getting electrocuted, so bring the alcohol. Okay, well, the the alcohol in the bloodstream at the time of the electrocution. Chocolate milk. Alright, cool. You're getting chocolate milk. And I hope I shit myself. You are. You are gonna shit yourself. That's an okay meal. Yeah, that's a decent meal. God fucked that shit up, though. I give it a seven and a half or ten. Yeah. Yours is a good eight. What would you got for drink?

SPEAKER_04 35:02

For the drink. So steak and lobster. Ooh. I might go Arnold Palmer. That's a half half lemonade, half sweet tea. No, no, I know.

SPEAKER_07 35:13

Okay, cool. Um, you want to drink that golfer's blood? Right. I was like, he's gonna come there and piss on you? There you go, buddy. That or honestly, maybe like a sunny D.

SPEAKER_08 35:32

Like sunny D.

SPEAKER_07 35:33

Oh yeah. Tangy. Yeah. Ooh. Tang. What's that other one called? Tang. Yeah, what's the other one called? Other what? It's not to Tapa Chico?

SPEAKER_05 35:46

No.

SPEAKER_07 35:47

If you don't know what it is, you don't need it. No, I need it. Tropicana. Nope. Orange drink. Orange. Crush. Nope. Orange juice. Orange juice. The one with Donald Duck on it. Nope. Juice. Francesca. Drink. I know what I'm gonna find it. Tropicana. Hold on. Tropalicious. Oh fuck. I'm gonna find it. Tropical orange. God damn it. No, that's not it. Topa Chica. Nope. Topa. It's Topa something. Um. Why are you doing that? Maybe a little video? Hey.

SPEAKER_10 36:26

Um, wait. Watch, mom. Nice.

SPEAKER_09 36:33

The tongue out.

SPEAKER_07 36:35

The tongue out was great. That was fucking sick, dude. The tongue out was fucking amazing. I'm sick.

SPEAKER_13 36:48

I hate it here.

SPEAKER_07 36:51

Finally had the fucking picture right.

SPEAKER_13 36:57

This bitch really wants to talk about us.

SPEAKER_04 37:02

That's funny. You still can't find that shit? Bro, I I can picture it. I know what the fuck it is. What the fuck is happening over there?

SPEAKER_07 37:13

I don't know. Oh, oh, oh, Tampico. Oh. We did all that for Tapico. Yeah, Tampico. That's why when I said Tapu Chico, I was like, hmm. Close. Hey, speaking of um honor palmer pissing on you. Nope. What's the fucking what's the weirdest porn you've ever heard?

SPEAKER_05 37:39

Hello? Hello?

SPEAKER_07 37:42

Check your mic. Hello? What the fuck? Hello?

SPEAKER_09 37:49

Mic check? Yeah. No, no.

SPEAKER_07 37:51

No whatever. Alright. Clip it. What's the what's the weirdest you didn't what's the weirdest porn you've ever searched? Oh man. You know what? You don't have to say searched. What's the weirdest porn you've ever accidentally saw? Accidentally saw? Sure. Um. I don't know. It probably like the weirdest thing would be like when you're seeing like the related videos, like tentacle shit. That shit freaks me the fuck out because I don't like that shit. Tentacles? Yeah. I've never seen that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 38:28

I mean it's not real tentacles, but like somebody's dressed up as predator.

SPEAKER_07 38:34

Yeah. Or like an octopus. Yeah, some weird shit like that. Huh. Yeah. Wouldn't be a fan of that. No. I accidentally jerked off to um a girl pissing on another girl. But I was already in too deep, so I couldn't change it. Now, here's another question. Go ahead. Go ahead. There's a lot of debate about it. Is squirt pee? Is squirt pee? I don't know. I don't know either. I don't care. I'll drink it. I don't give a fuck. Right. Nasty as shit. But don't piss on me though. If squirt is pissed, just say you squirted. That's a lot of squirt. Right. Not only that, be hydrated. Yeah, 100%. You over there, your face smell like asparagus. Right.

SPEAKER_06 39:28

Hey, since that video wanted to play so fucking bad, let me uh let me just play it.

SPEAKER_13 39:34

Doesn't have a little porch and a cup of coffee.

SPEAKER_05 39:41

Bro, that's a pot.

SPEAKER_07 39:46

That's a loaf. That's insane. That's insane. His head is getting really big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 40:01

She's fucking out of control, to be honest.

SPEAKER_07 40:05

How long do you think we have with this person? I hope forever. I mean, we all do. We all hope forever. Ten days. Max. No, I I don't want to shit on somebody, but like. I mean, I maybe I'm a bad person too, because I'm fucking. I couldn't, I couldn't do it for the views like this. Like if I had a serious uh what do you call those things? Uh eating problem. Eating disorder. Right. Where I couldn't help myself, then I'd probably end up like that. But if I'm just doing it for content and getting off on it like that person's doing, because you know, that that pot of fucking coffee and that concha was sexual to that person. Yeah. Well, imagine if it was the other way. What if somebody was TikToking themselves fucking being bulimic? Yeah. First of all, that'd be wild as shit. I wouldn't watch any of that. Right.

SPEAKER_04 41:05

Look at what I just put in the toilet.

SPEAKER_07 41:07

Right. I'd rather watch her fucking ear herself to death. Yeah. To be honest. What's your favorite porn? Ooh, favorite porn. Um that hard, huh? Dude, there's so many categories. Gay. Right. Right. I like dick dick. Clip it. Nope. Clip it. I was going off of what the fuck you were. Clip it. Yes, sir. That's gonna be a good one. Nah, we're not using that. No, we're definitely using that. Negative. Um, but uh I don't know. I like seeing like a bunch of chicks with a dude. Right, right. Reverse gangbang. Yeah. And like I'm like a porn connoisseur. Right. I like um I like midget porn. Yeah? Midgis be having fat asses. Plain and simple.

SPEAKER_06 42:07

Plain and simple.

Death Row Last Meals

SPEAKER_07 42:08

Fat old donkey butts. Bro, tired. Yeah, I know. How are you doing on that uh energy drink over there? I'm like uh quarter. Yeah, chug that shit. I got a good segue. Where's the wildest place you shit at? Uranus. My in my anus? I I shit in Uranus. He doesn't. He doesn't shit in my anus. See, that's gay. You immediately thought I was talking about your asshole, but what you didn't think about was that there's a town called Uranus. Where is it at? It is in Snot, Minnesota. So you've never been there. I have been there, and I have a Snapchat proof that I was there. Because I took a shit there and I took a Snapchat that I was shitting in Uranus. You go put it up? Put it up right here. Are you gonna be shitting in the video? No, that'd be insane.

SPEAKER_03 43:18

Like, guys, it's me shitting in Uranus. You'd be like, uh, the fat dude, the fat chick eating. Right.

SPEAKER_06 43:25

All right, guys. Here I am in New Jersey, about to take a shit.

SPEAKER_07 43:30

Yeah. Um probably get some views. What's another state that starts with an M? Michigan. Nope. Uh Massachusetts. No. Mississippi. It's above Arkansas. Mississippi. That's below. Montana. Above Arkansas that starts with an M Missouri. Uranus, Missouri. Uranus, Missouri?

SPEAKER_04 43:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 43:57

They got a whole thing there. Uh they also like at this place in Uranus. Uh they have a fudge factory. I'm being so serious. Alright, there's a bunch of yeah. Yeah. Oh, and you know what else is weird? There was a bunch of alien stuff there. In Uranus? In Uranus. That's where I can start my cult. Follow me. Where are we going? To Uranus.

SPEAKER_06 44:28

So I've meant more of like um some people shit in the woods.

SPEAKER_07 44:33

Right. You just went into a bathroom in Uranus?

SPEAKER_04 44:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 44:39

Um, all right, fine. If we want to go.

SPEAKER_06 44:41

What about the jank where you was like, everybody can see you shitting?

SPEAKER_07 44:45

Like, hello. Hello, everyone. I am taking a dump right now. Um, I mean, I've shit my pants.

SPEAKER_09 44:53

That was gonna be my next question. That's my next.

SPEAKER_07 45:01

Oh my god. Nah, dude. Um, and what to make it even funnier is I did it on the flight line.

SPEAKER_04 45:09

No, yeah. Dude, my stomach was fucked up one day, and uh I we have to chain down the aircraft, and I was chaining down one of them, and it just it just hit as I was bent over, and I just shit.

SPEAKER_08 45:24

Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 45:24

I um and I uh walk to the front of the hangar and I called my supervisor and I was like, hey, can you go in my locker? I need you to grab my keys, grab my stuff, meet me out front, I'll explain why. And so she brings me my stuff and I hand her my my helmet, and I'm like, I'm leaving for the night. Um, I need my stuff, thank you. I shit myself.

SPEAKER_07 45:49

What they say. She was like, All right, um, I understand, go home.

SPEAKER_04 45:55

And I was like, I'm not coming back.

SPEAKER_07 45:58

No, I wouldn't even, I would I would never work there again. I would quit. Nah, dude. Now you just shitty McGee. And you know what? Now everybody knows, and guess what? Fuck it. We're unfiltered. Bro, I um truck driver, you know, and um bro, sometimes stomach be bubbling like a motherfucker, boy. So the weirdest place Huh?

SPEAKER_04 46:22

I said, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 46:23

The weirdest place I ever shit was I put I shit in a bag. Like it was so hard to fucking do, but I like I put the bag on the ground and opened it, and then fucking just like dumped in that shit.

SPEAKER_02 46:42

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 46:43

Yeah. And then I mean, shitting myself, dog. I mean, truck driver, baby. That's what I do. At least at least at least three times a year, I should have shit myself. And it's like, it's always like are they the full shits or are you able to stop it? Yeah, I can stop it. My body just wants to get rid of some of it. Right. Now that now that I've been dieting and stuff, I can hold it. Let not hold it, but like I can um I can make it to the stop. Right. These these energy drinks fuck me up, and but I can usually make it to the stop, but every now and then I'm like, I'll go to a stop and they won't come to the door fast enough, and I'm fucking yanking on the fucking door, yanking on the fucking door, and they're not coming, and I'm fucking ringing the doorbell and shit, and then I'm just like, I just shit myself. Now, do you feel like you have more control over your asshole now that you stop probing yourself?

SPEAKER_06 47:32

Um, yeah, yeah, it's definitely tightened back up for sure.

SPEAKER_07 47:36

That's good. Because I've always wondered that. I wonder if it ever is gonna go back to normal. What yours? Yeah, you know what, me too, because I just I don't know if every time my fart is just gonna be like right, right, and every time we sit, it's just diarrhea. Yeah, it just falls out.

SPEAKER_06 47:56

Hey, when I was a um when I was like fucking uh I had to be 14. I think it was 14. I was out in um New Mexico visiting my grandparents, me, my brother, uh, and two of my cousins.

SPEAKER_07 48:13

And um, bro, we fucking we was on this hill, and we're like trying to run up and then jump, and I like jumped up, missed it, and then my brother ran up and fucking slid down in his stomach, and then I tried to run up again, and I started laughing so fucking hard that I started shitting. And I literally pulled my pants down while I was running down this hill and fucking just shit on the hill. And ever since that day, that shit was called shit mountain. So, y'all want to go hang out at shit and mountain? That's funny, like forever.

SPEAKER_06 48:44

Like, I'm I remember being like maybe 2021 going back out there and going to be like, hey, meet me at shit mountain. You know, I mean, like it was forever fucking shit mountain.

SPEAKER_07 48:55

That's great, and it was it was a hill about this big, but at fucking 14, I was fucking it was a mountain, a mountain shit. Yeah, just shitting, baby. Damn, dude. Yeah, I mean, it I don't know if I could ever go as far as like pulling my pants down. Dog, I I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah, I don't know, I don't could you imagine if like I had to shit at a warehouse and I'm like walking through their warehouse and my pants are down, I'm just shitting all over their floor. Like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, my bad, my bad. Thought I had to shit. I did have to shit. Oh man. That's good. Yeah. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 49:37

I'm a shitty person. Every day, one time.

SPEAKER_07 49:43

Lock it up. I'm gonna shit. I see. Um the last time you shit. Oh, I know when I did. Got a log of it?

SPEAKER_04 49:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 49:56

Um we were talking about, you know, training our assholes and stuff like that. So is that your asshole that just made that sound? Uh no.

SPEAKER_09 50:14

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 50:51

Uh, does the thing to do with the ramen noodles?

SPEAKER_07 50:59

The what? What the ramen noodles? In the kitchen? The raw minerals? What does it do with the raw minerals? I mean, I don't know what he's thinking. No, the ramen noodles. Oh, the ramen noodles. Raw minimals. Raw minerals is fucking great. That's funny.

SPEAKER_06 51:21

Yeah, it is. It's the same dude. Did you have a knife last time? I don't think so. Jesus Christ. He's upgrading him. Was it a shape song? What I hate motherfuckers that wear their fucking slides with these feet out and shit.

SPEAKER_07 51:58

About a cut of spinger? Alright.

SPEAKER_06 51:59

What if he just fucked up bleeding everywhere?

SPEAKER_07 52:03

There would be no worries and no tears.

SPEAKER_06 52:05

I'm gonna be honest. He almost fucking stabbed himself. But how would he explain this shit to anybody? Right.

SPEAKER_07 52:16

But I wasn't smooth. I don't think he did that shit on purpose, but you got good reflexes. He's just showing you his skills. But imagine if he would have grabbed that shit wrong. Right. We wouldn't see it. And I'd probably be okay with that. So, you know, football season is upon us. It's upon us. Yes, it is. It is. If you go to DraftKings, you can bet for no skidding. Um, so what I'm about to show you is a real product. Okay. This isn't this isn't fake. This is this is real. Okay. I don't understand what it is. It's the helmet with the rod around it that you just spin in a circle for a while.

SPEAKER_04 53:18

Um well, it says that training on this item takes less than two minutes.

SPEAKER_07 53:27

Um, and basically you do this. I hope you was sucking dick. It's supposed to fucking help your neck muscles be stronger. I know another way of making neck muscles be stronger. And he said uh that the there was a team in the 23-24 season that reported zero concussions and they all trained with this unit. So we're about to get a doctor opinion. I reached out to him and I said, or I commented and I said, Did they stop using it for the 24-25 season? Because that same team had seven concussions in the 24-25 season. Right. And their response was that they stopped using his product. I don't even know what to say to this. Yeah, it's an insane, it's an insane uh contraption. It's his.

SPEAKER_06 54:37

And um I hate it. If I'm being honest.

Embarrassing Stories and Pranks

SPEAKER_07 54:44

Like played football for 20 plus years, and um I didn't fucking do this shit. With zero concussions, that's a big deal. Yeah, cuz I had a bunch of concussions. Pretty sure I got like CTE and shit. It's probably what's wrong with you. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Probably part of it, anyways. Who cares? You know why? And we're back. What's up, babies? What up, though, down? Shit. We had a little bit of technical difficulty, a little bit of interruption, so here's the video.

SPEAKER_03 55:58

This is literally us, bro. I don't know, I'm gonna just punch you dry in your shit. What you gonna do to me? You gonna beat me up? Yeah, whoa. I don't even want to fight no more, my nigga. How are we fighting, bro? I know you want some of that. Uh oh, churro.

SPEAKER_04 56:20

Churo. Fuck you, I'm fucking diet. I'm not gonna die. You gay?

SPEAKER_07 56:35

Which one, which one's which? I don't know. The churro thing is definitely me. Because I feel like uh if we went through the fucking mall and it was a fucking churro, you'd be like, bro, I know you want one of those. I know you're right, sir. Yeah, I don't know. We both could have been that guy. I I could definitely see both of us in there. Right. I definitely would have said the you're gay thing, though. Yeah, that would have definitely been me. Oh, yeah. Bro, but I feel like that, like when we hang out and shit, and like I'm coming over here or something, I get like no home or nothing, but I get like, you know, a little like, okay, okay, go on to the homies' house.

SPEAKER_03 57:11

You know what I'm saying? Like ready to chill, ready to fucking. I mean, fuck, we'd go in there and fucking play fucking video games all fucking night.

SPEAKER_07 57:20

Two. Yeah. Nah, that was a little show up. Every every fucking week's a little bit of show up. Gotta stop that. Can't. Just there. Need some omeprasol. Now I got my Tums over there. I'm looking looking at them right now. I can see them. I'm gonna fucking like you know what my favorite Tums are? The smoothies. Um, have you ever had the um chewy ones? I think the smoothie ones were chewy. Where they came in like a block? Oh, was like a Starburst? No, no, no. That's something different. That's uh I don't think that's a Tums, is it? Yeah, that's Tums. Oh, is it? Okay, yeah. They're good as fuck. I'll eat like four of them. These ones were like uh like fucking candy. Right. Hey, never gonna have heartburn. Nah, never again. Y'all wanna watch me drink this whole bottle of hot sauce? Right, right, dude. I'll I was buying like the fucking like um the big bags of them and eating them shits like, oh yeah, man, you know. I got heartburn. Motherfucker didn't have no heart heartburn. I was just fucking chilling, eating them shits like candy. They're like, bro, we're sneaking in the movie theater. I'm like, word. I know what I'm bringing. Start shaking the fucking thumbs up just bro. I remember at the clubhouse, you had to have some Tums. Yeah. Yeah, I had to have a I would bother people for that shit. Anybody got any Tums? I need a Tums. Bro, but I was also bigger. I was drinking a lot more. And I was eating bullshit all the time. I mean, that's that's that's what makes me have heartburn every fucking time. Is that bullshit? Yeah. I don't know. We I think we've we've probably like like how they were talking about fighting and shit. Like, you know, like we gonna we gonna fight when we get back to the house. Number one, we both way too fucking big to be fighting with each other.

SPEAKER_04 59:14

I got five seconds in me.

SPEAKER_07 59:16

Yeah, I got a bunch in me, but I'm I've I tried to push you when we went to the race. Remember, I tried to push you in the fucking hallway? Oh yeah. And that shit was like yeah, I couldn't do shit. Like you should play, you should have played football with me. Dude, I won't go nowhere. Nah. I like jumped in the air and fucking ran into you. It was like, get off me. Mood. Right, get off me, midget.

SPEAKER_03 59:37

Is midget a bad word?

SPEAKER_07 59:40

Because I watch midget porn and I don't like ever feel bad about saying it. Porn has no limits though, so they don't really give a fuck. Also, you probably don't want to tell people you're watching little people porn. Ooh. You know what I mean? Like you kind of have to say midget. You gotta have to say yeah. Short people. What you watching, Playboy? Little People porn. You're like midget porn? Yeah. Fucking say that.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:08

That's derogatory. Little people isn't great. No. So. Yeah. Anything been going on with you? Do you want to hear a song? A song? Not by me. Yeah. No, if it's by you, I want to hear it. Oh see. Uh-uh. I don't want to hear that. And you see. We know who's they can see. Dawn. No, that's not it. Where are we supposed to stand up? Take your hat off. I don't know. Remember I was telling you in the truck earlier about that uh Bruno Mars song? Yes. Alright, so got something here. It is probably my favorite cover of that song. Okay. This is where we're gonna test the balance and see if fucking YouTube shuts us down or not. Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_22 1:01:13

So I'm a love every night, like as the last night.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:28

That's the two girls. No. She's kinda hot though. Is that her boyfriend? I don't know. Weird dudes always be girls. You know what this reminds me of when we talk over it? Beavis and Butthead. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:07

Alright, so to me they were completely tone-deaf.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:10

Yeah. That was horrible. And the fact that they got the band, the entire production crew, filmed this. Oh, not only that got hair makeup. Yeah. Got costumes. Got on top of a building. Yep. Recorded this. The video's nice. Produced the video, edited the video. Yeah. Watched it and said, This is the one. Again. Blows my mind. Where's the drafts? Post the drafts. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:44

I have another song for you.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:55

September eleventh.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:58

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:02

A lovely day. It ruined everybody's day.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:07

Twins Not the towers at the bottom. Oh my god. We'll block that out.

unknown 1:03:12

By the brutal terrace.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:15

The tariffs took over the place and crash into the towers.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:22

Somebody come get the auntie. Family members lost their family members.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:35

They fought for lives. September.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:40

You know what? She's singing in a mo she is singing a monologue. Listen.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:49

She's singing a speech. Right.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:52

Seven years ago.

Weird Places to Take a Dump

SPEAKER_07 1:03:57

Jeez, Louise. I mean, good for her though. You know what? She's doing her part. Right. Families lost families. Now, uh. Thought you're about to show me that damn preacher and the stretcher again. No. Um. Could you hey, real quick, real quick. Could you could you imagine if me or you was the preacher and the stretcher and then trying to get us up the fucking stairs? They couldn't get us up there? We just fall over. This could be you.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:29

The the stretcher's going beep, beep, beep. Hey, they're trying to f they're trying to lift that shit up and it's like.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:38

Oh man, that would be fucking great. Um, what decade do you think that rock peaked in? 1980s, baby. 80s, of course. Yeah, 80s. Somebody's somebody's in 2020, baby. Right. These guys think the same thing. Alright, cool.

SPEAKER_23 1:04:59

Nothing more masculine than being comfortable in women's clothing. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_19 1:05:04

When you go straight to the women's section in every thrift store you go. The monkey boys are never ashamed.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:10

The what? The monkey boys. Listen. This is a time capsule. Yeah. What do you think they're gonna be for Halloween? Fucking Queen. I was just they think they're in 1980s, so I was thinking about what they thought was appropriate in 1980. It's probably gonna be wrong. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. It's like 1980s. What can we do? We're only a few years out of this. Yeah.

unknown 1:05:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:42

I'm a no homo again. But like, if I look like that, I'd probably fucking I mean, I'd wear fucking cutoff shirts now. I don't give a fuck. I don't care. I do I do that now, and they just think it's a sports bra. Right. Matter of fact. Matter of fact, after the Halloween episode, I'm wearing a cutoff. Remind me. Clip it. Remind me. I'm wearing and you and you know what you gotta wear? You gotta wear the booty shorts old boy was wearing. Positive. Don't say negative. Positive. No. I'll wear the cutoff. I'll wear the I'll even wear the leopard pants. Alright, I'm not wearing the leopard pants. Not doing the leopard pants. No?

unknown 1:06:23

No.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:24

I think I would rather have you in leopard pants than a cutoff. I'm gonna look great. Alright. I mean, I used to wear that shit when I played football. Yeah, I mean that makes sense.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:36

Not this far out. It's gonna be right here, and I'm gonna be like this, and my whole side of my stomach's gonna be hanging out. Fuck it.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:44

It is what it is. You ever wanted to play with Moroccos? No.

SPEAKER_19 1:06:51

That's 240 feet metronome. That's about 400 meter pace. Watch this guy.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:57

He's got a real good technique.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:07

I know what else he probably does well. Imagine him laying on his back.

SPEAKER_19 1:07:24

Let me show you how home. Let me show you how home. You want it close? Right there? Far right there? So you're thinking.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:34

I might even send this to my girl.

SPEAKER_19 1:07:39

Keep the blue cap vertical. Don't do that. Elbows up high, you're on top, not here. Boom, boom, boom. Faster's faster. Oh, and did I mention you can run uphill and upstairs faster with these than without them? It's gaming the physics. There's no inertia that we now.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:01

Let me ask you something. Ask a boy. Why has? Why has Trant gone this course? Why is what? Trant. That's his name? Trant. His name is Trant? Trant. T-R-E-N-T. First of all, sir, I'm gonna need you to change your name. I don't like it. Brant. Brant. Brant. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. What about him? You think that's him? Why is it what happened? He probably wishes he looked like that. Brant is like fucking four foot three. It's not a little person. No, no, no. You're thinking more of the bee and not of the ant. Oh, okay. We should just say names and bleep that shit out or something. Yeah, if I bleep it, you're not gonna be able to hear it. That's right. I can see what you said though, so that's cool. That works. That works. I got you. Look at look at the glasses. Yeah, no, I yeah. No, I get it. I get it.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:10

I don't I is this after the Oh my god. Do you feel like you could do that? Hell no. Not me either. There's way so much fucking hand movement. Bro, look at how his elbows and shoulders are going.

SPEAKER_19 1:09:37

He's in shape and out of breath. We don't need the inertia. I game the physics. Well, we get we get all of the inertia concentrated into a micro set. So listen.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:48

Also, I didn't know there was this much science in Morocco's. That's funny. Um that car goes by here every fucking day at full speed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:03

Every day.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:04

It's probably not even full speed. Yeah, you're right. It's just it's it's just loud. It's a loud car. I love cars that are loud that go nowhere. No, it's one passing you. It's one thing when it's like a Honda Civic. And that's just going, yeah, but they're going like 20. Right, right, right. Exactly. That sounded muscly. Yeah. It could have been a motorcycle. It's not a motorcycle. No? No. Yeah. I've heard it enough times. It's it is a car. It's one of them fucking Hellcat. Probably one of them fucking people from down the street. That work at your job but not at your job. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. But that that's that same car passes by here two or three times a day, and it's always just it's funny because it's probably not gonna get picked up here. We're just talking about it, and they're like, what are you talking about? Right. Let me ask you this. I I know we're podcasting and recording it, and we're gonna post it and clips and all that.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:15

Who says this is a good idea? Like, hey, George, play your fucking maracas outside, and while you're at it, record it.

SPEAKER_11 1:11:25

Tell everybody how to do it.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:28

Right. One time he said, don't spill the drink, and I was like, are the beads gonna fall out of there? Well, that's what he's trying to teach, and I'm kind of with him. Like, I see this man has a passion and he's wanting to share his passion with the world. Now, how many Morocco players are out there in the world? I don't know. Probably a lot in Morocco.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:55

Can you uh afford this video to me? I want to send it to my girl.

SPEAKER_19 1:11:59

Yeah, I got you landlord launched, and God figured out how to coordinate you.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:06

Bam.

SPEAKER_19 1:12:06

If you don't think the arms and the feet will sit down, it just keeps getting better. Yeah, Y and C because you're going to lift. You're not you're not going down with this one. You are going down to elicit a connective tissue recoil.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:24

What connected tissue recoil?

SPEAKER_19 1:12:29

Why do you run up a hill faster? Because you can drive, but you know, this definitely sounds like something on the ground a long time when you're going uphill. This puts two exclamation points into every watch, nothing in my leg.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:46

Tip toe.

SPEAKER_19 1:12:48

Nothing in my leg. My leg is just the spring. Watch.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:53

I hate that he keeps going out of frame.

SPEAKER_19 1:12:59

Right. Dion did it here, he didn't stretch. Randy did it here, but he didn't stretch. David Weg does it either way. And I don't stretch. Every step stronger, everyone. That's 240 B.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:15

I've never seen somebody do the deuces like this.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:21

Right. The first time I did it, I was like, that's not three.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:26

Right. Yeah, that dude is definitely has some uh tiptoe energy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:35

Yeah, he's definitely on the powder. For sure. Or some steroids. He's on something. That dude was fucking big as fuck, though. Yeah. So I mean he's doing something, right? I'm joking his fucking maracas and shit, and I'm fat as fuck. Dude, same. Same. But maybe I should start fucking. Yeah. I mean, I do that. I do that my whole stomach just going. I do it with one hand every now and then. Right. And sometimes I'd I drop the liquid. Sometimes you spill the drink. Spill the drink.

SPEAKER_10 1:14:13

Surfing. Surfing in the USA. Surfing. Surfing in the USA. Come to Surf with us to the land of votes. Vote for Becca and Hannah to be your America's favorite couple. We're stuck in seventh place.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:33

All of America's favorite couple.

SPEAKER_23 1:14:35

At seventh right now, but we're hoping that a big wave of votes from you guys will get us right over that hump and into first place.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:45

I see a few humps. They're lovers.

SPEAKER_10 1:14:46

So we passed the top 15 round. I think so. I see a lot of love here. So we would love, you know, to get a new car and everything. You know, read our story. Doritos. The link will be the raw minerals. In the comments and in the description. Just copy and paste into your URL. Like I said, surfing. Surfing in the USA. Surfing. Surfing in the USA.

SPEAKER_23 1:15:22

Oh, I'm going to jump that shark. Oh no, I better not. Surfing in the USA.

SPEAKER_10 1:15:29

Surfing with us to the one on the boats. Thank you. Vote for this, everyone.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:34

Listen. That's me and you at the podcast sometimes. I'll just go with some shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:40

And you're like, oh fuck, we're surfing in the USA. And then you're like, I'm going to jump this shark. And I'm like, fuck does it have to do with anything?

SPEAKER_07 1:15:46

Surfing. Surfing in the USA. Come vote for us. Right, vote for us on America's Best Couple 2025. We want you in our car. We want Doritos. In our car. And the raw minerals. In our car. In our car. I'm gonna jump that shark. What the fuck, dude? Yeah, dude, that shit was fucking wild. What's Big Justice doing up there? Oh, yeah, I got you.

SPEAKER_13 1:16:20

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:58

I hate this. I hate it so much. This thing's got some lungs in me. Bro, I hate this video so much. I shouldn't have asked about it. Yeah, I wasn't gonna play that one, but Yeah, that's my bad. That's my bad.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:25

You mind if I hop up here for a second?

SPEAKER_07 1:17:28

I got one more for you. Go ahead. Perfect. Damn.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:45

The dog's trying to fight too.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:57

Why did it take her so long? Well, that's a big ass house. She had to ask for directions, she got lost. Right. That was insane. Love a good good girl fight. Oh yeah. They were they were they were really throwing hands. Right, yeah. Yeah, I thought it was a joke. At first thought she was gonna fucking power bomb her, and she did not.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:19

That was fucking insane. I got one video left for you.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:25

And uh is a doozy. I hope it's a doozy dog.

SPEAKER_22 1:18:32

And just a reminder if they don't love you on your period days, then they don't deserve you on your period days.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:44

Why are we doing this? What'd you hit? Why why are we doing this?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:48

Period.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:49

Period, period, period. Why are we making these people famous? I'm not making shit famous. Somebody should fucking make us famous. You watched it. Yeah. She had shit on her fucking nails and it was weird. It's just like that one, uh, the cash me outside chick. Yeah. But she ended up being okay because she could rap and shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:14

So I don't have it. I didn't save it. I almost did. Actually, I could bring it up.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:19

But I just saw a video where the cash me outside chick was on the hood of a car crying. Oh, because of her boyfriend. You saw that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

unknown 1:19:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:29

I wish somebody would cry over me. Somebody caught her outside. Right. Or she caught him outside. How about that? Bro.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:48

I don't know why we make any of these people famous. Like the one, the ones that look, there's there's mad people that are just talented.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:56

Right. Then we have people that get famous for literally fucking nothing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:03

I mean, ass some more than likely.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:06

I mean, yeah, but when uh Cash Me Outside got famous, she was fucking like 15, 14, 15. Yeah. And uh and all she said was Cash Me Outside, how about that? All your audience members is hoes. Like everybody did that. Everybody ate it up. Dr. Phil was flabbergasted. Right. Bro, how the fuck did she get on Dr. Phil just for fighting with her mom? That's it. I think I can't re I can't even remember the story. Was she doing anything else? Was she like running away and shit? I don't know. I didn't know Dr. Phil was fucking Jerry Springer, though. Because that's the shit that would happen on Jerry Springer. Right. You are not the mother. That's Maury, but you said the mother? Yeah. You ever run away before? I think one time I tried to, and I packed up a couple things and like what'd you pack? I don't I don't fucking remember. He was like, I gotta bring my bad man with me. Gotta bring fruit by the foot. Simbo. You said cinnamon? Simba. Simba? Simba. The lion. You had a Simba doll? Yeah, dude. I had it was uh big to bring it with you, bro. Yeah. You gotta pack a little shit. Yeah. How far did you make it? Well, I grew up on 12 and a half acres in the woods. Bro.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:33

So I'm pretty sure I just made it out of the woods and like, yeah, no, fuck this. There's shit out here.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:39

There ain't no food out here. Bro, I uh ran a whole ran away a whole bunch of times. What was your favorite time? Uh I ran away once and went and lived at a house down the street for like three weeks.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:56

So the cops told my mom that she had to that they had to take me back. It was cool.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:02

It was cool. Chick lived there.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:05

We didn't do shit, but I wish we did. Yeah, I've had those moments.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:12

Damn, wish we would have done some shit back in the day.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:15

Right. I think I packed uh I got to like a that's how you know I watch too much fucking TV. I took like a bandana and I put some like snacks in there, and then like a couple of wrestlers, and I fucking tied that shit on the fucking stick, and I was like, I'm out of here, and fucking threw it over my fucking shoulder. I was like, where the fuck are you going? Leaving forever.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:42

We had a cleaning lady growing up, and uh they would come to the house once a week, yeah, clean up the house and whatnot.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:54

And uh what race did y'all have at the house? She was white. Okay, but uh anyway. Um I had late arrival for my senior year. Right. Got to sleep in. Oh, I think I know where this is going. Sometimes I would wake up and you know, back then I was on the wrestling team, I was around 152 pounds. Okay, I had hair. A stud. Right, I look good. Right. Put a picture right here. We don't need to do that. Look at that, look at that right there. Bet y'all can't even figure out which one I am. You don't have a picture of just you. I got a couple. Anyway. Anyways. But I looked good back then, right? And uh yeah. Somehow uh every now and then I would like wake up and she'd be clean and I'd be like shirtless and shit. And kind of like try to avoid her, but you know, not really, you know. Right. And then somehow, somehow, me and her ended up texting.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:06

Okay, this is juicy.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:08

Yeah, nothing ever happened. Oh my god. I think she sent some pictures of her titties, yeah, her and lingerie and shit. Why didn't you fuck? You got scared? Well, no, because I went to boot camp. Man, fuck boot camp, man. I would have fucking I'm gonna be late. Right. I'm gonna be late. I got some I got some pussy to. Sorry, boss man. Right. It's your first day at boot camp. They're like, why are you here three days late? Like, I had to take the gray hell because um my cleaning lady, she was trying to, you know, sleep. Razzle my dazzle. Bro, the move you should have done was just sleep naked. Yeah. When you come to clean the room, clean mine first. How old was she? Was she hot? Yeah. Damn, dawg. Definitely was. Um. I also fucked my friend's mom one time. Does he know? It was a girl. Does she know? Yeah. She watched? No. Oh. See, here's a story. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:22

So there I was. On the wrestling team. Right. We had a wrestling manager, and the manager was a student, a girl.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:37

Right. And so her name was Ray. Okay. Oh shit. Damn. Clip it. So there I was on the wrestling team. Auto, man. I love your fucking face. He's like, it was fuck. You really forgot we were recording. Yeah. Just talking. That's how real this is. Unfiltered. Unfiltered, baby. No scripts. Right. Ever. Ever. Even in the promos. Yeah. Ignore what you see behind you. So there I was on the wrestling team. And we had a wrestling manager who was a student. Right. And her name was. And uh I wanted to date. And so she was like, hey. I fucked with you, but it's either between you or this other dude. The worst. The worst. Now the other dude, I don't know why she picked that dude. Was he a wrestler? Yeah, he was a wrestler too.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:48

That's how I had to wrestle off.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:50

Right. Yeah. For sure. For the ass. For the ass. But uh winner gets the puss. Right. Um, but no, uh, so basically what ended up happening was uh she chose the other dude, and I was just joking around with her. I was like, I'm a fucking mom. And uh she was like, ha ha ha ha. Right. Bullshit.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:12

And as time went on, one day, wasn't at work at school one day, and somehow I got a text from her mom about it.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:22

And she was like, hey, it's not gonna be at school today. And I was like, What? It just sounds like you're saying a slur every time. But uh, you know, she was like, Rick, I love it, I love I love that you can't keep up with even pressing the fucking button, right? Uh is gonna be at school today, and I was like, you know, now's my chance. So I said word, you know. Right? I was like, how's she doing? But more importantly, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 1:28:04

Mrs.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:11

I love that you can't get it right. It's so great. So great. Yeah. Anyway, um, and like she she laughed and joked about it. He was like, haha, you know, I'm not a missus, I'm a widow.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:26

And I was like, Oh yeah, and so somehow we got a talking, right? And the conversation kept going.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:39

And she would send me pictures and all this shit, and said, Come over. I would go over. You were nervous? No, not at that moment. Okay, because I was about to fuck my friend's mom. Right. I was confident as a motherfucker walking in like right. So you were a child? I think it was it was my senior year, so I was like 18. Okay. I just want to make sure. Yeah. But uh anyway. Um so I went there and I fucked my friend's mom.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:24

Oh yeah. And when we got done, which it was it was great by the way, being 18 and I was kind of a late bloomer, I think.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:44

Oh man. So it was to me, I was like, hell fucking yeah. Right. And I remember after that we went to the living room and like sat there and I put my arm around her. And we were sitting there on the couch and then all of a sudden my friend comes in with her boyfriend. Right? And she was like, What the fuck are you doing here? And I was like, winked at her. Oh yeah. I was like, just hanging out with your mom. And she was like, why were you in there with the door locked? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, daughter. Just call me stepdaddy sesame. Yeah. She was like, she was getting mad at her mom and I was like, hey, go to your room.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:32

I'm your stepdad. Don't talk to your mom like that. You don't talk to your mom like that. Don't talk to your mom like that.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:38

That's funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:39

Yeah, I didn't.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:43

Nothing like that happened to me.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:46

No.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:47

No, I mean I fucked my friend's mom.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:49

Y'all were the same age? No.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:53

No, she was definitely older. I was smoking crack. She was giving me head while I was smoking crack. I mean, it was cool. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's crack on crack, baby. Crack on crack. Yeah, I mean, shit. I don't know, man. I used to love drugs back in the day. Yeah. Um. I remember when I was prescribed Adderall. Me too. Me too. That wasn't fun. No. I remember um I was a lot less in weight. I was a lot lighter. Were you? Yeah. You always say that. No, I really was. Go back. I was around 220. 220?

SPEAKER_08 1:31:46

I'd love to be 220.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:47

Dude, same. I'd even take 250. Yeah. And I'd be like, what's up, baby? You know what I mean? I don't know why I talk like that. I got a fucking girl and everything. She loves me and I'm fat. So I don't, I don't know. I'd be like, what's up, girl? Who am I talking to? The mirror? Right. I feel the same way because I got a cat and like I don't wanna. She loves me and I gotta be a good role model for her so she grows up one day and bees a good person. Right. I don't know, man. Any new news on your uh on your endelvils? My indelvos. Yeah, your fixins. My fixons. Uh no, we're still waiting for the submissions at uh just talking unfiltered at gmail.com. Don't forget to say www.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:32

Yeah, no, it's not www. But other than that, no, no, no, no uh no news to report.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:42

It's just uh what it is, what it has been, and what it will be. Right, it is what it is. Headshot. Headshot, baby. Back shots. Not again. Um you got a plate? Huh? You got a plate? Right. Oh, that was great. I um dude, the other day, I was at a warehouse and a fucking truck ran over a um a telephone pole. Jesus Christ. A telephone pole, dog. I'm gonna try to find the fucking uh picture for ya. There it is. God damn. That's insanity. And so, like um, I was uh I walk around. Deported. Yeah, white guy though. We're gonna send him back to San Diego. Probably like North Dakota. North Dakota. So um I do I walk around while they're offloading me. I like to walk around and shit, try to get my movement on. And um, I saw this guy turning and I'm like, motherfucker ain't gonna make that shit. Right. So I'm like, as a truck driver, if you see some shit like that, you back out of it and you restart or whatever.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:08

So I look down at my phone and I hear and his fucking front of his truck is hitting that shit. And I'm like, oh shit. I'm like, stop, stop, stop. That motherfucker said, fuck a stop. And it started going faster.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:26

And I saw that shit start falling, bro. I ain't gonna lie to you, I ran. I was scared of the motherfucker, boy. I thought that shit was gonna blow the fuck up. God damn. And I was trying to like look for where like where I'm gonna dive to once it blows up. Insanity. It didn't blow up, nothing happened. All the power went out, but like, wasn't that crazy? Did it affect your offload time? Nah, they was about done with me. And luckily they already printed my paperwork out, so I was Gucci. Yeah, so the printer had power? Huh? The printer had power? No, no, they printed out beforehand. Right, right. Yeah, the printer had power. Printer had power, baby. Yeah, nobody else did. Yeah, that's just wild. I'm just saying how you can do that. What company is that? I don't know, we should advertise that. Whatever. Doesn't matter. Bonehead trucker. I've ever showed you the video of me wrecking the Dodge. You ever seen that? I've seen it. I don't know why it's sideways. I don't know how to do anything.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:33

Turn your phone. You mean you gotta lift it up?

SPEAKER_07 1:35:42

It did nothing. You can flip it though. You can see me run into the car. Jesus. That's what happens when you're fucking tired. Yeah. So now everything's sideways. Yeah, there we go. There we go. So tell us about this morning. This morning. This morning. This morning. Okay. You're obviously not getting it. No. The morning that you wrecked your fucking dog.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:23

The video that you just fucking showed us.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:28

You fucking fucked. I thought you meant this morning. I know what you meant today. You don't have to explain it to me. I know what you thought. I racked my fucking brain so hard. I'm like, what the fuck happened today? I know. I saw you calculating. Yeah, I had all the numbers. I was like, I woke up and then I went to the car. Nothing happened today. Um, bro, I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:52

I fucking I got out of the I got out of the car, I got into the truck, I started my truck up, and I like look down and my car's moving it, and I thought somebody was stealing it because I work out in Portsmouth, and I thought, I was like, fuck somebody stealing my car, but I'm like, why the fuck are they driving it into shit? Who the fuck steals a car and wrecks it?

SPEAKER_07 1:37:14

Right. So I'm like, fuck, man. And I like jump out to save it, and I eat shit, bro. I'm talking about like my foot gets caught up on the step of the truck, and I just land on my hands, just like bleeding everywhere. It was a fucking horrible day, dude. My girl was laughing at me the whole time. Shit won't fun. And then we then we flew out the next day to Colorado. Love that. First class? No, fuck no. No, fuck no. We're not you. I've never flown first class. I wouldn't put it past you though if you do. Why's that? Huh? Why's that? Because you boozy. Yeah. You boozy. Yeah, but I mean, I know my limits. Do you? Because once you got it, you got it. Right, but here's the thing. With a first class plane trip, you ain't gonna get to keep it. Nah. Nah. Unless you share it with somebody. That's the only thing. Some things are good is if you share it with somebody. Right. Because if you do it by yourself, it's like first class by myself, it would just be a nap. Yeah, I could do that back there. Yeah, I'll do that back there and just piss everything. I'll do it by the bathroom. I'll just piss everybody off and coach while I'm drowning. You know. Hey, look, we flew from uh from my job every now and then we go down to Key West. Right. Uh it was on the way down to Key West the last time I went. But like, it's not that long of a flight, but like I was still sitting there and just the noise of the aircraft and all that good shit, it it puts me to sleep sometimes. Right. That's great for me trying to be a pilot. You hope your school don't hear this.

unknown 1:39:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:02

The FFA. Future Farmers of America. No, future future federal aircraft. Yep. But no, as a passenger, puts me to sleep. And uh so I I start fucking doing my fucking snore, passing the fuck out. Right. I remember one time I woke up and the entire aircraft, like everybody that was in front of me, right, everybody had their heads in the aisles and had their heads turned towards me when I woke up. You thought you were crashing. No, I knew what it was. But I was like, Oh, y'all can hear me? Y'all can hear this? Jesus. My bad.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:55

Jesus.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:56

I said, My bad, everybody. I'm good. I'm alive.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:59

What did you say? My bad. And then fall back asleep. No.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:04

I said, my bad. Y'all go back to sleep.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:06

Bro, it's crazy. I'll go back to sleep. I can't, uh I can sleep at home. I'm decent in a hotel. I don't mind sleeping here. Like, if I go out of like when I go to my parents' house, sleep like shit the first two days. Yeah. Damn, it's hard for me, man. I don't sleep in cars. You know that. Yeah. I'll fucking, I'd rather just drive. Let me drive. I'm not gonna sleep. I'm gonna sit there and fucking bullshit on my phone or fucking keep keep somebody else fucking awake. Me. Yeah.

unknown 1:40:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:40:39

Bro, I remember um uh Fredericksburg. We went to Fredericksburg for a cornhole tournament, and you uh you drove down two hours. We drove you drove up, stayed in the hotel, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And the next day you got fucking hammered. Hammered. And I'm looking at you and I'm like, aren't we leaving today? And you're like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're driving back. I was like, fuck. Got and then start fucking drinking. Yeah. Like, holy, and then this dude just slept the entire way back, and I was like, I'm tired as fuck. And I'm just like, he's fucking knocked out. I'm like trying to swerve to wake him up, kind of like when he was sleeping on the fucking couch.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:25

I'm like, get up.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:26

Remember a couple months ago when uh I went and rescued you in South Boston? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, can't wait for you to drive back. Yeah. And you're like, you want me to drive back? Because I'm fucking faded at the Mexican restaurant right now. I was wasted. I wasn't even faded. I was past that. I did um, I was drinking like um, was it margarita? Yeah, I had a margarita. Tequila. Yeah, I had a beer, and then the fucking bartender was like, hey, this is on the house. And I guess he must have seen that my truck broke down and I was sad, and he brought brought me a fucking tequila. Fucking took that shit with a lime, and I was, I was, yeah, I was fucking done. And when he gets there, he's like, Thought you was gonna dry, bro. I was like, can't. My bad. All I can do is keep you awake at this point. Yeah. Because guess what? I'm gonna sleep. I don't know. Yeah, dude, that was fucking that was fun. Yeah, I missed road trip. That's that's the funny thing about this podcast is we originally, if you see like the if you look at it, you can see the the truck and the tailgate and everything. The whole concept was we were gonna do um road trips. Road trips. Just record the road trips. Yeah. And like it's a it's a good concept, but I I enjoy this better.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:43

I can I can see you, no homo. And you know, I mean, I I can talk to you regular conversation. The shit we're gonna say in the truck would be we might not talk for 30 minutes.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:52

Right, and that that would be where the editing would come in and everything, but uh, we do see uh some of our wildest conversations and wildest things that we see to comment on happens when we're driving. Yeah. Like old boy that had one leg on the side of the road in Richmond. Oh yeah, he was throwing up crips at us, right? Big C's. God, yeah, that shit was fucking insane. I was like, yo, why is he throwing gangstones up at us? He was he was like, he's crippled. Yeah, he was throwing up cripple, he was throwing up cripple. Right, yeah, yeah. I only got one leg. Yeah, I don't I don't know. But I mean I mean I'm I'm down to do that still. Wouldn't mind it. I mean But I I definitely enjoy this concept of being able to drink and fucking just chill. I enjoy getting hammered. Yeah, yeah, I know. That's the uh alcohol talking. Bro. Don't say it. I had to get it past all the shro up. Right? Um I'll be honest, three tall boys isn't a lot. It is. It is.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:15

It's not yeah, and you had the hennesy.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:21

Oh yeah, I forgot about it. Oh a little bit left. Well, now that the ice has melted. Right, the ice so it's gonna be watered down, but yeah, I'll give you zero dollars if you take that to the head. Sign me up. You mean to tell me I get something out of this?

SPEAKER_06 1:44:42

Right. It'd be me tucking you in, giving you a fucking bucket.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:47

Not gay. I don't know. The way you said the way your voice went, you're like, you get a little bit of meat tucking you in. And a bucket. Put my meat on your forehead. Jesus Christ. Pick it up. Show the camera. Got a red line. My meat all across his forehead. Nope. Yeah. What else have been up with you? Dude. What else you got going on? What else I got going on? Um, ooh. Got you. Don't snap at me. I wasn't at you. It was I don't like that. It was just my brain clicked. Right. Um, got the new iPhone today. Right. Yeah. Um, cool. Sorry.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:49

Um, no, as soon as I get it. I ain't bringing no gloves.

SPEAKER_21 1:46:12

I ain't bringing no good in the skizzes.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:16

And we're back. Like good. Like cook crack. Mac. Like mac and cheese. Like good mac and cheese. All right. So the good pussy pussy. Why my cat look at you like that? I don't like the way she's looking at you. Right. She's like, good pussy pussy. I am good. Right. I'm a good one. Why did he say pussy twice though? That was weird. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:43

I didn't even say cat.

unknown 1:46:45

Right.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:46

Um. You got the new shroll up. Yeah, bro. So uh went and picked up the uh new iPhone today. Oh yeah, congrats. Thank you. Uh he's the first person in America to have it today. I don't know about America, but in Nolf. At least the first person at Ward's Corner. Um, so it started off with me yesterday calling around in the Verizon stores, and I found one and they were like, I told them exactly what I wanted. I said I need 17 Pro Max in orange, and I need 17 Pro and I don't care what color it is.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:35

Right. And they're like, Yeah, we got you. I said, perfect. So they said, I'm gonna put a sticky note on it.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:42

And when you come in, it's gonna be first come, first serve. But I'm gonna put a sticky note on it, and hopefully they'll honor it. But if you get here when we open, you'll be guaranteed to get it. I said, perfect, cool. Awesome. So good story. I went there and I was all I was the first person in the door. Oh yeah. There's only one guy behind me. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:07

And told him all, hey, here's the Pro Max and the Pro. There's a sticky note on it, and they say, you know what, we got you right here.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:18

And so they came over, brought it up, and I looked at it, and I was like, that's them. Oh yeah. And they pulled up my account, and basically they told me because what I was trying to do, I was trying to upgrade the phone that I had, right? And I was gonna add a line and get the other phone. They basically told me that I would need to not only pay off$390 off the phone that I currently had that I was going to give them, right? But that I would also need to put down about$1,600. Jeez, you had to pay for the phone itself. Exactly. So I basically had to pay off two phones in order to get two phones.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:11

And I was like, I told him I said, you know what?

SPEAKER_07 1:49:15

Let me go to my truck and do some numbers. Right. And I'll be right back. Didn't go back. I peeled out of the parking lot. Right. And uh needless to say, I am now back at T Mobile. Now you can drop calls in the tunnels. That's right. Uh, but I am excited about T-Mobile Tuesdays because I showed up at T Mobile and about 15 minutes before I showed up about 15 minutes before they opened. Right. And I saw an old man and I was like, he's not here for the new iPhone. And then I saw an older white, uh, not an older, but about 20 years older than me, white lady. And I was like, she might be here for the new iPhone. Right. And I saw a guy walk up, and I was like, ooh, he might be here for the new iPhone. I might want to get in line. Right. So I got out of the truck, got in line. Bro, when the doors opened to this fucking T-Mobile, right? 15 of us walked in. Jesus. What cell phone store has that happened? But again, this is the iPhone 17 release day.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:40

Right.

SPEAKER_07 1:50:41

So not even well, the guy finally gets me in there and he takes me back to a table and I'm telling him, like, hey, look, I'm coming over from Verizon, blah, blah, blah. And I look towards the front door. The total of people in the store has now climbed to about 25. Jeez. It was packed. It was fucking packed. It looked like a golden corral on a Sunday after church. Jeez. Dude. And then I'm sitting there talking to this dude and I keep getting interrupted because I keep hearing a fucking car alarm going off in the parking lot. Just beep, beep, beep. Please tell me it's beep, beep. I'm like, I'm talking to the dude. I'm like, yeah, bro. So I'm coming over to Verizon, blah, blah, blah. I'm trying to get this phone and this phone.

SPEAKER_04 1:51:33

What the fuck is going on out there?

SPEAKER_07 1:51:35

Beep. Jesus Christ. They need to fucking shut that shit up. Right. And I'm like, who the fuck's truck is that? And I look. It's my truck. Somebody broke into your shit? Nah, dude. I set the alarm off with the keys in my pocket. Jeez. And everyone in the store was like looking around trying to figure out whose fucking silver F-150 is fucking blowing its horn in the parking lot. You over here mad at yourself. Right. And everyone's looking around like, hey, is that your truck? Hey, is that your truck? Hey, is that your truck? And I fucking, I'm like, oh shit. So I pull my keys out of my pocket and I go, beep, beep. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:20

My bad, everybody.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:21

Right.

SPEAKER_05 1:52:22

I said, that was my fault. It was my truck. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:26

It was a people got a kick out of it. Right. Dude, it was funny. Um it wasn't as bad as the dude that fucking leaned up against an iPad and set off the alarm that went on for like five minutes. And that's the only bad thing about them doing a release and shit. It's like motherfuckers don't know how to act. Oh you ain't never been in public before. Why the fuck are you leaning on everything? Dude, dude, like all they had all the phones up. You know the the fucking the the shelves that they display them on are only like this fucking wide. Right. Why are you gonna lean on that? Let me uh let me uh get right here real quick. Right. No, and not only that, he didn't lean on it with his hand, with his back. Jesus. He just had he was just on his phone and put his back up on it. And all of a sudden that shit went. Jeez. Oh, dude. That was that was worse than my truck going off. Yeah. Yeah, because they gotta find a key and turn it on, all that shit. Yeah. Yeah. A dude had to run to the back, got the wrong key, had to run back to the back again.

SPEAKER_06 1:53:29

You ever set the alarms off at Ross on the shoes?

SPEAKER_07 1:53:32

No. Shit, dog. Them shits be going off forever. They don't even be giving a fuck neither. They don't come over there. They don't give a fuck. Really? Yeah, no, they don't care. Is it a north? Because North will be having that armed security. All of them. Nolph will be having that armed security. Yeah, they have it at all the Ross's except for the ones out where I live. Where's that? The nicer area? Yeah, it's a fucking great area. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Bruh, be honest with you.

SPEAKER_06 1:54:04

My fucking my fucking mouth is dry as shit. Yeah, and I feel like I gotta fucking cough every three seconds.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:11

Like if y'all if y'all keep me see see me keep going, I'm fucking coughing and I'm fucking drinking this drink trying to get my fucking mouth fucking salived up. Well, you see me over here, I have I have bro that shit equals fucking eight drinks. I'd be fucking dead by now. But what I'm doing is I'm keeping the palate moist. Okay. Moist. That doesn't bother me, any. Okay. Yeah. Moist, moist.

SPEAKER_11 1:54:45

Oh, some people that listen and like you good?

SPEAKER_07 1:54:55

Yeah, I'm chilling, bro. Yeah. Got any words of wisdom? I always leave it on you. Oh man, words of wisdom. The more you drink, the more you're gonna keep that palate wet. Oh, so let's go back. Let's go back. Ask me again. Do you have any words of wisdom?

SPEAKER_04 1:55:17

The more you drink, the more you're gonna keep that palate wet.

SPEAKER_07 1:55:24

See ya.

Closing Thoughts and Outro

SPEAKER_21 1:55:37

Well we've been around, cheering our mind, talking about nothing, and all we can find. Winston and bright keepin' it wheel. With plenty to spill. It's just great. It's just a lot of things. Okay, I don't know about the test. They've got a little bit of this. A little bit of this, but no one gets all the chip.