Technical Difficulties and Eating Pussy with ChatGPT

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0:00

Intro and Birthday Celebration

16:20

Podcast Updates and Morning Routines

30:25

TikTok Videos and Internet Absurdity

49:05

Food Challenges and Eating Habits

1:01:25

Relationship Talk and Dating Applications

1:18:40

ChatGPT Tips and Adult Conversations

1:42:30

Wedding Plans and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Intro and Birthday Celebration

SPEAKER_14 0:00

Um yup yup yup Yo, it's Winston and Brian, the unfiltered crew. Fat bearded legends with opinions for you. Exercise laughs, no filter, no cap, poor drink, take a seat. We just talk and rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yelling loud. Every topic gets dissed. Beard so thick, they can smuggle the brisket. Voices boomin' harder than a 12-minute stuff kick. Grab your low scar. We ain't polite. Welcome to the show, it's a bar fight tonight. Just talking nuts, built the no rules, coach game. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas tea, Texas peace, grab a mic and ignite. It's wins in the mind, keep it raw, keep it tight. Just talking nuts, built the no rules, coach game. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas tea, Texas P. Grab a mic and ignite. It's winst in the mind, keep it raw, keep it tight. Ryan got the volume of a megaphone riot. Winston got the boots, but his liver stayed quiet. Topics jump wild like a bull in the juke. From brisket to politics, no subjects move. Barbecued stains on a microphone grip. Spit fire hotter than a jalapeno dip. Put task kings, yeah, we talked that smack. If you're looking for chill, better send it back.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

What is up, everybody?

SPEAKER_25 1:22

What's good? Shit, bro. I we're back. That's right. Like cook crack. Good smack. Oh. I always thought it was like good crack. I meant uh cook crack. Not good crack. Crack's not good for people.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Crack is white.

SPEAKER_25 1:41

Uh on a video? You know how I like to start it. Yeah, dude. I I'm just a little I'm just falling a little behind. I'm struggling. What's your name? I'm I'm Winston. I'm Brian. Hey. Am I gonna tell them? Yeah. We already know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know who I am. Do you know who you are? Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes I don't. I live a life of mystery. And sometimes I'm the go-getter, and sometimes I'm the motherfucker in the girl. The flow shitter. One thing I'm trying to do better is uh pay attention to what you say. Because sometimes you say shit and I just slip past it. Oh I know. And it's it's fucking rude, but um it wouldn't be me if I didn't do it.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Alright, so at least you know who you are. Yeah. Alright.

SPEAKER_25 2:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_20 2:26

Start this shit out. Says Henry, do you know if you can reheat Bofa? Bofa. I'm not familiar with Bofa. What's Bofa? And thanks again, Edith Dads, for rating our channel. Space 200-2-1 says Bofa D's nuts.

SPEAKER_19 2:51

Yeah. And okay, so it looks like I've been the subject of some kind of prank. I want to put these things.

SPEAKER_25 3:03

Bro, D's nuts are like my favorite jokes. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Bro, they set that dude up fucking perfectly.

SPEAKER_25 3:10

Yeah, it was so great. On a live stream?

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Oh yeah. It's great when uh somebody's got no fucking clue that it's happening to them.

SPEAKER_25 3:16

Right. They're doing the fucking Rotten Burgundy approach where they're just fucking reading everything. Right. Every fucking thing, dude. Uh, my favorite D's nuts is uh, you like you like Imagine Dragons?

SPEAKER_02 3:27

What's Imagine Dragons?

SPEAKER_25 3:29

Imagine dragging these nuts across your face. Right, right, right. Yeah. I'm back to that again. I see that. They just be coming and flowing. Like, never mind. So uh happy birthday. Thank you. Did somebody do something special for your birthday? Did uh somebody do something special for your birthday? Yeah, bro. I don't think it was as special as mine.

unknown 4:01

No.

SPEAKER_25 4:01

My friend's better than yours. No, I uh no, I don't know about that. Hang on, I gotta take some Tylenol. Oh yeah. Wonder why? It's not the root canal anymore. Yeah, probably uh if you notice I have a drink and he doesn't, so if that tells you anything, fucking head be hurting, foggy vision. Fuck. Oh yeah. But no, uh yeah, nobody's hydrating.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

I uh I need to. Yeah, I've got to so bad. Um, but yeah, no, uh, I had a very good birthday, uh, the very last couple hours of it. Um last couple.

SPEAKER_25 4:43

Yeah, go go ahead and tell people.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Yeah, no, uh, so uh I basically sat around here and waited uh to go get dinner at a sushi place that I want to go to. Right.

SPEAKER_25 4:57

And uh we got there about 30 minutes before they closed, 45 before last call at a sushi place. Yeah, so I mean it's not like the fish is going anywhere, right? But uh I didn't get the last call for a sushi thing. It was kind of kind of fucking weird. They're like, last call, last call. Can't do the accent. We're we're both white. Can't do accents for raw fish. Last call, last call for raw fish. There you go. So um, what'd you end up doing? Yeah, so uh I ate some I had some raw fish, uh, loved it.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

Right. And then after that, we uh we came back here and I was gifted uh some gifts and a cake. Some gifts. That's right.

SPEAKER_25 5:45

Uh Hannah made me an awesome NASCAR cake with uh bubble wheelhouse on it. Bubble wheelhouse. Yeah, yeet. Hell yeah. And then be sure to post that on something. Picture of the cake. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

We can put the cake up there. Actually, we'll put the cake right here. All right, it'll be there. Oh, right.

SPEAKER_25 6:03

Yeah, right there. Yeah, we gotta get fancy with it, bro. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I wasn't ready for that. I'm like, right, I'm looking like bro. Like, I want me to bring the cake? No, I I love how she made the track right here, and then you got bubble wheelhouse right there, and then you got the NASCAR sound over there. I hope this works out. I hope it's gonna be fucking backwards like fuck. Jesus Christ. Um, but no, it was a really awesome cake. Uh, it was like what lemon? Yeah, lemon with a lot of fucking frosting, which didn't help with me being on a diet. Fuck it. No, no, I don't want to fuck it. I've been doing really good with my diet, and then she makes one fucking cake and I'm like, I'm a fucking like you're relapsing. Yeah, I'm a fucking crack addict to sugar. Right. I'm like, let me let me get that sugar plate, boy. And then if I drink like eat sugar-free fucking candy, I'm like, this ain't real. Like I'm over here smoking fucking spice or CBD.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 7:01

This ain't real sugar. Also, I've been trying to kick this melatonin habit, also. Yeah, all right, yeah, we ain't getting into that. Bro, I've been trying to kick it. Yeah. Yeah, now I'm I haven't taken it in like three days. Three days, so you haven't been dreaming? No, I had a wild dream the other day that um this big ass motherfucker was running at me and I punched him in the head and it beat the shit out of him. My girl told me I woke up and looked at the baby and was like, I'll beat the fuck out of him. So I guess I'm trying to fight the baby in after my dreams. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So going back to the birthday thing. Yeah, birthday stuff. Sorry. No, I get sidetracked very easily. Yeah, no. You know how to rap? We ain't doing this. Bro, I've noticed how like sometimes you'll say some wild ass shit to me, and and like you'll just see me processing it. Yeah. It takes me like two seconds, and I'm like, Yeah. Did he just say to me?

SPEAKER_24 7:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

Anyway, so yeah, uh, I got some gifts.

SPEAKER_25 8:03

I got me an imported bottle of uh Porosos vodka. Um shipped illegally. I didn't I didn't ship it, I just somebody had to. Listen, you're either gonna get fucking alcohol shipped or two bricks of cocaine.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

I I just want some alcohol.

SPEAKER_25 8:25

There you go. All right, I made the right choice. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:29

Uh, and then I got some uh some NASCARs over here. And then uh got a shirt. Hell yeah. And then we just kind of just hung out around here and uh got hammered.

SPEAKER_25 8:40

Yeah, we got hammered I I in the gayest way possible. I guess not we didn't butt chug or anything. We didn't we didn't drink out of people's dicks. Well, that'd be piss. No, I'm just saying that would be piss. Could you imagine that? Like, hey bruh, come take a shot of this, and it's fucking like piss, but he just drink vodka all day. You think your body filters out alcohol? Like, cause when you piss, do you think there's any alcohol in it?

unknown 9:17

What?

SPEAKER_25 9:17

You weren't recording? That's awesome. I mean, it's up there.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Right here. Hey, that's gonna be fucking great. Yeah, I can't wait. Um But no, uh Dude.

SPEAKER_25 9:35

I woke up this morning with the biggest fucking headache. Yeah, so um, my turn? I can talk? I don't want to interrupt you, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 9:45

You had the floor.

SPEAKER_25 9:46

Alright, alright. We need a talking stick. A talking stick. Um I stayed the night at Winston's. Um you know how to do jumping jacks? Do I know how to do jumping jacks? Yeah. Yeah, I can do jump and jacks. Okay. Let me do them. No. I wasn't. I just want to know if you couldn't. Jumpin' jacks. Yeah, I could do like I can do a good 30 seconds worth of jumping jacks. I don't count the jumping jacks, I do a certain amount of time. So, like, I could do I could do 15 seconds of jumping jacks. I could do a solid five seconds of jumping jacks. Maybe I'll do them right here. Just kidding, I'm not. I might, I don't know. No, uh, Winston let me stay the night. Uh slept in his bed, he slept on the couch because you know I'm a fucking pansy, and for some reason, every time I sleep over, my fucking uvula hurts. Don't know why. Don't know why. I'm sure it's some kind of gay act. I wonder why it hurts. Because you got fucking gay ghosts in his house. Gay goats? Well, ghosts. Oh, ghosts. Yeah, I would hear a goat. Um, bro, speaking of sleeping over, dude. Uh first of all, you fucking snore like you're gargling water. It's probably because I'm dying. It's the fucking wildest sound I've ever heard in my life, my life. It's like, and it's um, you told me you were gonna watch a comedy special and fell asleep before I did, and then it was very hard for me to fall asleep because I kept thinking you were drowning the entire time. I'm like, this guy's gonna drown on my watch. I can't let it happen. So um I finally did fall asleep, and for some reason, at um 5 30 in the morning, all the lights were on. Every light in the house was on. I'm in the bedroom. I'm like, I literally thought this motherfucker came in the bedroom and just cut the lights on. I'm like, dog, we're getting up at 5 30. I thought we said nine. Like we just went to sleep, and the fucking every light on is on in this bitch. And I'm like, I have to piss, but like, I don't know why every light's on. Every light in the house is on. Damn, I don't like the way this is pulling my fucking mic, dude. Should have fucking like wrapped it or something. Yeah, you probably should have done that.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

Yeah, yeah. So no, what that is is uh smart electronics. And uh I basically have everything set up for when I wake up on the weekdays for work. Right. Uh 5.30. And uh because I have trouble waking up sometimes because I'm swimming in my sleep, I guess. Yeah, drowning in your sleep.

SPEAKER_25 12:43

Right.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

So I've got the lights that come on at 5.30, I've got an alarm clock, plus my phone's alarm clock, and my robot vacuum that uh everything just starts going at 5.30.

SPEAKER_25 12:56

So it's it's an aggressive fucking way to wake up. It woke me up. Yeah. Just the lights, but just like, you know, I'm just like every every weekday, I'm just laying there in my dreams and everything, and then all of a sudden the lights come on, the vacuum comes on, I think that somebody's cleaning my house. I'm like, who the fuck is in here?

SPEAKER_02 13:13

But it wakes me up. Does it? Yeah. Um I have a video somewhere, and it's of me asleep on the couch, and 530 rolls around, and everything's just going off.

SPEAKER_25 13:28

All of my the alarm in the bedroom, my phone alarm next to my head, the vacuum, all the lights are on, everything's happening, and I'm just snoring through it all. Is this video accessible?

SPEAKER_02 13:43

I don't think I saved it, and I don't know how long the ring cameras hold videos for. And I don't even know what day it was on, so it would be it would be a fucking task to find it. Sounds like a liar. A what? Liar. Okay.

SPEAKER_25 14:00

You just don't want to show it. It's fine. No, I I really don't care. Okay. Uh yeah, that shit woke me the fuck up, and I hated it. I hated every second of it because number one, I don't drink liquor like that anymore. And so us drinking the vodka last night, along with uh, I'm a pussy, so I drink seltzer. I guess I'm a pussy, whatever. I don't give a fuck. Gets me fucking fucked up and I'm not full the entire time. But um, yeah, I was pretty fucking drunk. And 5 30 rolled around, I was very confused on number one, where I was at. Number two, I had to come look for you because I'm like, if all the lights are on, this motherfucker's walking around just fucking doing weird shit. And I talked about putting my dick on his forehead, so I'm like, now I'm worried about my fucking forehead. Number three, I had to piss, so that was cool. It woke me up to piss so I didn't piss in your bed. So appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I came out here and you were just fucking drowning. Hell yeah. And then it was hard to go back to sleep again because I felt like a lifeguard. I just felt like I had to save you and you you felt like you had a duty.

unknown 15:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 15:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 15:09

Yeah. But I didn't duty until earlier. Shit joke.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Yeah, yeah, no, I got it. It was a shit joke.

SPEAKER_25 15:20

Yeah, it was. It was. Um.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

Now, we're gonna come up with a better method, but for now, this is what we're gonna do. Uh. But I have a video for you. What?

SPEAKER_25 15:40

I actually have a handful of videos. Oh, how the turns have taken.

SPEAKER_01 15:46

This juice.

Podcast Updates and Morning Routines

SPEAKER_25 15:52

That's Bobby's mom. She is fighting for her fucking life. Just to not get deported. Exactly. She is trying to say this juice. Right. So fucking hard. Right. I can barely say this juice. I say this juice. Uh let's see. Damn, son. Damn, son, where'd you find this?

SPEAKER_02 16:30

Um. So with uh.

SPEAKER_25 16:41

There we go. Put me on game. Yeah, we definitely have to have a better method for this shit.

SPEAKER_07 16:48

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_25 16:49

Faux show. You you look like me the last episode.

SPEAKER_07 16:53

It's worth it. This shit got me out here. You know what this is? It's a peeled chicken nugget because I don't want the carbs. I don't want the carbs on this. I want the chicken nugget, but I don't want the bread. So I'm sitting here fucking peeling fucking chicken nuggets.

SPEAKER_25 17:10

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_07 17:11

You know what I mean? I'm gonna I'm I'll use the bread for something, but fucking now. Come on, man.

SPEAKER_25 17:15

Listen, that motherfucker's gotta have a bra on. Those nipples are huge. Now, here's the funny part. Those are breastfeeding nipples. Here's the funny part. Yeah. Top comment. How many puppies did you have? Oh my god, that motherfucker had a litter. Yeah, it's hilarious. Oh, let's see. Ariola Grande. Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. One lady wrote, How do I erase this from my memory? My mammary. That's good. This this chick said, uh, this is utter nonsense. These are good. These are a lot of good puns going on.

SPEAKER_02 18:01

Exactly.

SPEAKER_25 18:02

Uh somebody said, uh, you shouldn't be eating chicken nuggets when you're nursing. Not good for your litter. Hey, um, taking taking the bread off of chicken nuggets is fucking wild. Yeah. I'm pretty sure like and what the fuck he said he was gonna save them for later. What are you doing with them later? Bro, there's no fucking way that there's that many carbs on McDonald's chicken nuggets to take them off. I'm gonna be honest with you. There's no fucking way. I'm looking it up right now. I want to see the carbs on our on a on one fucking nugget. It's 1.4 grams of carbs. 1.4. So none. Yeah. You eat fucking 10 of them hoes, that's like fucking 14 grams. Right. He probably got a 20 piece, though. Yeah, 20 piece, that's fucking 28 grams. That's how much is in a fucking piece of bread. Right. That's insane. I'm on a diet too, but I'm not over here fucking shaving chicken nuggets, that's for sure. What the fuck? Hey, um, today's uh Sunday, so I got a I got a special one for you. This is good. Happy Sunday, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

This is our coats! This is our team, we bleep this is our coast.

SPEAKER_25 19:31

He's just happy to be there. Yeah. Fucks up his forehead.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

This is our team.

SPEAKER_25 19:47

That is insane. That is insanity. Now, I'm pretty sure I saw that they like, was it week one or was it the preseason where he actually went out there and sung that on the 50 yard line?

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Didn't he?

SPEAKER_25 20:00

Yeah, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, dude. I wish that I had that fucking video. But I'm by the time that people see this shit, though, week one will be like week seven. Week five. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Matter of fact. Cheers to you. Because we are officially on Apple. God damn it, man. You fucked this whole thing up. I am fucking started. I got it. I got it. Go ahead. Get it in. Hey, bro. Cheers to you. To you too. And to everybody out there who is listening. Uh, we are now officially on Apple Podcasts and Spotify Podcast. Spotify. Working on the YouTube podcast, but uh, we have our own uh channel. Yeah, we've got our own channel on everything now, and we're actually officially up there and we're posting shit now. Yeah, we got a website where you can go and see everything. Yeah. So pretty fucking dope. Yeah, cheers, girls. So I know I um I know I fucked that up. Yeah, I know. Pretty good. Um my girl was joking me the other day. She told me that um I don't know how to read, which is um far the farthest thing from the truth I can read. All right, prove it. Well, she also told me to prove it. And I I unlocked my phone, and right before she told me to prove it, I just happened to be on Facebook with it zoomed into a girl's ass. So when I opened my phone, I'm she's like, What the fuck? I was like, this is for the podcast. I don't this is material. I have to see what she's doing back there. Right. You want me to prove it? You want to see my face? You wanna see my face? Uh chat GBT is always the best. What should I type in, buddy? Chat GPT. Whatever. Uh give me a 50 word. Give get me a 50 word short story. Short story.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

And then whatever kind of story you want.

SPEAKER_25 22:12

Comedy. Chat GPT thinks I'm fucking simple. Alright. You ready? You can see it right there. It'll be it's not.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

No, you I mean you can if you'll be right here.

SPEAKER_25 22:30

Yeah, it'll be on there. Don't go line for line. Larry bought a treadmill to get fit. Jesus on day one, he put a pizza box on the belt so it slid towards him like a conveyor. Day two, he added soda. By day three, the treadmill broke. Larry proudly declared best workout machine ever. It quit before I did. So as you can see, flawless. That was fucking terrible. Um that was like I I've that was like a third grade reading level, maybe even a second. Okay. It's not it's not good. It's not flawless. It was flawless. I can read slowly, but like I get to the point. You're challenged.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Speaking of challenged, uh, you know that uh Nicki Minaj, uh Nicki Minaj. Yeah, Nicki Minaj. Yeah, uh, you know that uh new trend that's going around where they're like girls are on like their heels and they're squatted down with the cross-legged.

unknown 23:42

Right?

SPEAKER_02 23:42

Yeah, there's a bunch of videos going around.

SPEAKER_25 23:44

Um You're gonna do it. He's gonna do it, everybody. He's gonna get up on here and do it. No.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

But uh speaking of uh being challenged, there are challenged people out there. But this person has found a way to overcome. And let me show you. Okay. Show me.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

He said he came from Jamaica. He owned a couple acres, a couple fake visas, cause he never got his papers. Gave up on love, fucking with them heartbreakers. But he was getting money with the movers and the shakers. He was mixed with a couple things, bore like a couple rings.

SPEAKER_25 24:17

See? What he wants is for me to say something terrible about this person. Good for them. No, that's what I was gonna say. Good for them. Good for them. Yeah, they found a way to still get in on the on the trends. Speaking of an unbreaded chicken nugget. How many carbs? Uh 1.4. Jesus Christ, man. Yeah, I know. I already know you're gonna pick the most fucked up videos and want me to be like, you want me to say crazy shit.

SPEAKER_02 24:51

Nah, dude.

SPEAKER_25 24:52

You want me to say the F slur. No, you want me to say the R slur. I'm not saying any, I said, I'm not saying any fucking slurs. Okay. I wish you would. I will never say a slur. I wish you wouldn't have said that. Right, right. At least he bleeped it out. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

Uh all right.

SPEAKER_25 25:17

And then when I really do it, he's gonna be like, I forgot to press the button. You're canceled forever. Now it's a solo podcast. Uh got another one for you. Um uh I'm a history person and uh I like uh big butts and I cannot lie.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

No, but like I do, I'm all about uh I like old ancient history, like uh Egypt and shit like that. So I found an Egypt, an Egyptian style.

SPEAKER_25 25:52

Uh I can't read and you can't think. Oh my god. Absolutely not. Her neck is so fucking long. That is insane. Her neck was long as shit. Hey, you ever see AI be just like doing this shit right here and just making you look completely wild? You're like, is that what this thing thinks of me? Right. I didn't say please enough to it. Right. Thank you. I can tell by looking at her, she did not say please ever. Right. Unless it was for seconds.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Um I have somebody that probably asked for fourths. And I will show you them. Mood.

SPEAKER_12 26:43

Um just an advice for people. And I don't mean to sound rude when I say it. But I just watched in somebody's live stream that I was friends with and they instantly blocked me just because I was tapping the street. Like make it make sense. I was trying to show support and I was trying to show love to the person.

SPEAKER_25 27:19

You know what's not being supported? Her neck. Right, right. Jesus Christ, dude. Um Star Wars? Yeah? What about it? Yeah, just have you ever seen it? Yeah. Okay. We're gonna be littered with fucking graphics now. It's like these motherfuckers, boy.

SPEAKER_02 27:43

These guys really think they something now, don't they?

SPEAKER_25 27:45

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:49

So I've done I I've done a few. Uh what do you get?

SPEAKER_25 27:51

What do you got for me? Oh, yeah, absolutely. I here we go.

SPEAKER_23 27:58

For breakfast, we have a little platter right here, and it's from Wiener Slits or you guys have six chili dogs, six mood you guys today. For breakfast, we have a little platter right here. For breakfast, wiener slits for you guys, and we have six chili dogs, six corn dogs, to when they ate one corn dogs, some fries, and we have one chili cheese fry, two chili cheese fries, and three chili cheese fries. Moodle bite, tick-abite, you guys.

TikTok Videos and Internet Absurdity

SPEAKER_25 28:43

You know, last episode I said that I think food is sexy. Yeah, so does she. No, this person gets off on it. Yeah. We're basically fucking playing porn at this point. Tell me when to turn it off. Bro, you can Yeah. We're done. We're done. Leave that up there. The fuck? Bro, how you get how you getting all that in there? Jesus Christ, dude. Yeah, I'm fat. Dude, same. Yeah, but uh, so let me see. Well, was it five chili cheese dogs? Seems doable. I can do three. I can do five. That's but all the other shit? No. Five chili cheese dogs. All right, now I do want to do the 999 challenge. So we're talking shit about fucking this fat chick. And then you're over here fucking like, oh, I can eat nine. Bro, that's basically nine. No, no, no. Because the corn dogs plus the the fucking hot dogs, that's nine dogs. Yeah, but all you're doing is eating the dogs. Not the fucking five dogs, corn dogs, 20 fucking corn dog bites, and whatever, four or five chili cheese fries. Yeah, if you minus the fries out, that's about nine hot dogs. No, I don't think so. Absolutely. Well, because there's five corn dogs. And five chili cheese dogs, that equals ten, Brian. There's not five chili cheese dogs. You just said five dogs. There's four. That's nine. But then you got the mini corn dogs, 20 of those. That's one more hot dog. I'd say more like three. All right. Well, either way.

SPEAKER_24 30:29

You think you could eat that?

SPEAKER_02 30:30

No, no, no. I could do just the fucking. I think I could do the nine nine nine challenge.

SPEAKER_25 30:35

Nine beers, nine dogs, nine inns. So you could eat that. No. Yes, you could. Because if you think, think about it logically. God damn it, bro. Think about it. How many, how many hot dogs is that? We're saying four, five, that's nine, ten, eleven, we're saying twelve hot dogs all together.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_25 30:55

Right? You're gonna do nine hot dogs. That's three less. So if you cut the beer out, right? You could eat three more hot dogs. Yeah, but we're just talking about doing the nine nine nine. No, but I I asked you, could you eat that? Minus the fries. Could you eat that? It would be a struggle. Because I'm not, I'm not saying you're saying that the 999 is gonna be easy. Right. It's gonna be a fucking struggle. I don't even know if I can do the 999. Right. We'll find out. I uh I could eat three chili cheese dogs and I'm down. I'm out. I'm a lightweight with the food. I just like snacks. That's my downfall is fucking snacks. Now, hey, if that was fucking 20 donuts, yeah, you are a snacky little bitch. Line me the fuck up. I am a snacky bitch. That's right. Yeah, snacky little bitch. Snacky little bitch. What's that a little bit? All right, calm down. You called me bitch way too many times. I don't like it. What else you got? TikTok. I still got some questions. This is my tip.

SPEAKER_13 32:08

You never had a hundred and fifty thousand dollars in your hand. Nope, never. Yeah, I mean, I didn't know that. Wait, what? Minnesota is nose too much to throw me a Minnesota outside my house.

SPEAKER_25 33:37

Listen, it's so fucking simple, but it's great. Yeah. Um some of the things that he's talking about with 150,000, I don't think he realizes how little it is. No, he says it. Okay. I mean, he was talking about a yacht. Yeah, he said that's not enough to buy a yacht. All right. That's the very next line. Well, no, as for the uh, but other times I went the other way, and he when he was talking about the Carolina season ticks. Yeah. That's like$150. Right. He loves the Panthers. I mean, that's also my team. Do you follow him? Let me tell you his name. His name is uh Carolina Carolina Mike, M I C. I'm fucking we know you can't read. I said Carolina Mick. Can't read. I'd love to fucking interview him. Have him, oh it'd be cool to have him do that shit live. Not here. We'd have to go to Minnesota, I guess. I'm down for a trip. He's not in Carolina? No. No. He said he wanted to buy a Porsche, but Minnesota's too cold. So he's gotta be in Minnesota. If you had 150,000, what would you do? What would you do? It's so good. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's so fucking good. Also, I felt like we sounded really good on that.

SPEAKER_02 34:58

That was nice.

SPEAKER_25 34:59

We probably didn't.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

No.

SPEAKER_25 35:01

But I liked it. It made me feel good. Yeah, it made me feel great.

SPEAKER_02 35:08

Um I have uh speaking of songs, great songs. Um we've got uh couple here for you. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_25 35:22

And this is going back to a legend. Hold on, hold on. If it's um copyrighted, we can't play it. YouTube will I'll take it down. Okay, well, um I think we'll be alright because we're good, fuck it.

SPEAKER_02 35:39

Yeah. Unfiltered, baby. Yeah, fuck it. So anyway, uh speaking of good music and everything, this is a guy that is gonna blow your mind.

SPEAKER_05 35:54

I found a way to make a baby.

SPEAKER_25 36:06

Dude's falling asleep. Bald guy. Who's he supposed to be?

SPEAKER_05 36:18

He looks like the dude from Twilight.

SPEAKER_25 36:23

He looks like a fucking vampire. That was horrible. Oh, this might be better. This might be better. This is the same guy. I love the guy laughing in the background. It's fucking great. Oh, it it's phenomenal. And this dude's entire page is just him being an Elvis impersonator, but I I don't know how he got to this point. Um, we're impersonating being a podcaster. We are now you mentioned vampires. I did.

SPEAKER_11 37:08

See, this is what happens when you get out of a partying so much. You ever seen a vampire with horse? And you have to go into your house covered like this so that the sunlight doesn't hit you. It's daylight already. You see that? I gotta go cover it up. Oh yeah, it's freaking hot. I'd rip that shit off.

SPEAKER_25 37:44

Bro, Trump wants to deport all these people. We need to get these vampires out of here. Right. Jesus, I didn't know this was a fucking problem. I'm gonna start fucking making taking stakes and making fucking crosses out of them. I didn't know vampires were such a problem in fucking where we're at now. Well, have you seen? Well, have you seen Sinners? Yeah, yeah. That's a fucking great movie. I fucking love that movie. I watched it like two or three times. Do you think Michael B. Jordan got uh paid twice? Probably not, and I think that's a fault in the system. Yeah, because I mean he played two different people, right? And to be honest, I didn't know it was the same person sometimes. I forgot. Yeah, they're like looking at each other, I'm like, it's fucking crazy they got twins to play this shit. These two dudes have great chemistry.

unknown 38:29

Right.

SPEAKER_25 38:31

Right. How'd they find somebody to look just like Michael B. Jordan? Right. My girl's like, you're a fucking idiot. I'm like, I don't get it. Right. My son said that um for Halloween he wants to dress up as uh the the brothers, as he put it. They're brothers. He didn't mean brothers, but you know, uh fucking, I was like, eh, go for it, man. Just maybe don't go too far with it.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Right.

SPEAKER_25 38:59

I don't need my kid out here in black face. Don't feel like dealing with that. He's already got a brown face, so he'll be a fucking Mexican uh Colombian, he'll be a Colombian vampire. Does it exist? I didn't I don't know. I don't know. I just always thought they were into cocaine, but who knows? Do you know that um this morning when you awoke from your slumber, as I abruptly woke you up with a yer, yrrrrr. I try to be loud because I don't like being woken up, so I don't like waking other people up. So I was like, boom, boom, slamming doors and shit, and he would not budge. That's how I know he doesn't wake up to his alarms, the lights being on, and the fucking robot vacuum. And I like wake him up and he's like, Okay, and he opens the blinds, excuse me, the curtain. He's like, bro, it's not sunny. And I was like, word. And he's like, Sari, Siri, Sari. So he's like, what's good? He's like, what's the radio? That's not right. She's like, um, please unlock your phone. And I'm like, this is insane. He's like, Sari, Siri, what's the weather? She finally fucking told him, but I'm like, dude, he's just fucking going off on Siri because he said the wrong thing. That's insane of you.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

No, no, no. I wasn't going off on Siri because I said the wrong thing. It's just because it wasn't hearing me say Siri.

SPEAKER_25 40:49

Yeah, don't say the hay part. Our phones will start going off. Hopefully, your phone's not going off right now because it always picks up my voice. I'm looking at the reflection of the microwave, and I think we're good. Yeah. That's why I didn't do the hay part because that would have been, you know, both of our phones pick both of us up because we're both fat, I guess. Right. Our our phones, instead of having facial recognition, it's fat recognition. Hey, sounds like a fat motherfucker. What's good with it? Weight recognition. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After 250, it's like I listen to everybody after 250. Right.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

Dude, so uh when we were setting up for the podcast and everything for today's episode, uh, you were missing a part. Yeah. And uh we had to figure out where that was. And so luckily I've got some cameras, and I was able to go back to the day we filmed and was able to track it down. Yeah. Tracked it down to my office where after you'd left, I started editing our episode. Right. And uh I love how I'm sitting there just scrolling through, and you just see me just slumped in my computer chair.

SPEAKER_25 42:02

Yeah. This motherfucker was like um, he had his phone in his hand and literally like was doing something on his phone, put that bitch down and just went. And then started drowning. Yeah, no, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

Like you can see me fall, right? Slump over right there.

SPEAKER_25 42:24

Um I I also hate that it took us 45 minutes to find a piece that we needed. Yeah, I mean we need a dedicated like box podcast. This is where we put podcast stuff at. Yeah, we need like you have a dedicated spot.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

Yeah, because all of this stuff goes back next to my computer so I can use it for other things and set up stuff, right? It's just your stuff that needs its own spot. Yeah, I don't live here. Uh well.

SPEAKER_25 42:53

I live here in the studio because I'm so dedicated. Yeah, that's right. That's right. So dedicated. This stays here 24-7. So, ladies. Let's go with it. Make love on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

You know, speaking of ladies, uh I'm I'm I know we talked about it briefly on the last podcast, but I'm gonna go ahead and say, uh I guess I'm single again, even though I didn't I wasn't even really single again.

SPEAKER_03 43:18

Even though I wasn't back on the brow.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

Even though I wasn't really in a relationship to begin with.

SPEAKER_25 43:25

You were. He does this. He gets in relationships and then he goes, Oh, that wasn't a relationship. He still thinks his ex was fucking four years ago. I mean it really was. Speaking of your ex, you tried to fucking follow us on TikTok or something.

SPEAKER_14 43:40

And Brian and Brian on the mic.

SPEAKER_25 43:43

My bad. And Brian on the mic. Yeah. Try to follow the podcast and Brian on the mic.

SPEAKER_02 43:49

Yeah. Yeah, no, that's fucking insane, dude. Uh because neither of us have communicated with this person in years. Years.

SPEAKER_25 43:59

And uh yeah, it's kind of weird, but whatever. We should arm wrestle one day.

SPEAKER_02 44:08

Yeah?

SPEAKER_25 44:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Okay. Just thinking about it. Okay, cool. I'm gonna go back to what I was talking about. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 44:15

So anyway, uh basically got a a text on my birthday yesterday that was like, Happy birthday, ma'am. Oh, thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Uh basically got a text yesterday that said, Happy birthday. I sent you money that you let me borrow back. And I was like, Cool, uh, thank you. Right. And was like talking about some more shit. And I'm like, how is everything? And you know, she's got some issues going on up the street, I guess. And uh yeah.

SPEAKER_25 44:47

Your boy got left on red. I'm still on red. Still on red, still on red, and that's insane. That when uh shit hits the fan on their end, they just shut everybody out that can be there to help. Yeah, I mean, um being in a relationship is complicated sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 45:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 45:06

So with that being said, um, we're gonna be taking some applications. Uh yeah, yeah. Yeah. We're gonna be taking some applications. Uh go ahead and send in your application, female only. Um to uh over 18. Yeah. Over 21. Closer to 30. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. A little bit more maturity. I like that. Right. Well, you were messing with somebody over 30. Was that more mature? Jesus fucking Christ now. Right, right. So Yeah. Uh you can send your uh your application to uh WW is it w do you say W's for emails? No. Okay, so it's uh just talking unfiltered at gmail.com. Yeah. Um attach a picture.

SPEAKER_02 46:05

Yeah, we need or a video submission.

SPEAKER_25 46:08

We're not gonna get anybody. Yeah.

unknown 46:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 46:10

It's gonna be a bunch of dick pics. Right. That's gonna be fucking annoying. Hilarious fuck. Yeah, annoying, right? Yeah, I'm not gonna like it. Be so upset about people's dicks being there. Why are all these peans up here? Right. Nah, but uh, you know, 31, got a cat and a good job, and uh I'm ready to love you, bitch. Single and ready to meet. But what about um what about old girl down in uh NC? Yeah, dude, I don't know what's going on. Uh I heard her call you yesterday for your birthday, and uh Yeah, that was insane. I was not expecting that. Yeah, no, she really I've been thinking about you all day. I walked away. Just if she watches this, I walked away, let y'all have y'all's private moment. But I heard I heard that part. It seemed seemed pretty sweet. Yeah, no, me and her haven't seen each other in fucking years, dude. Uh, but we have just recently like started like chatting and all this good stuff.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

Chat GPT and yeah, we've been chat GPT and anyway. Uh but no, uh I don't even know if she knows that I I would like to be into her like that.

SPEAKER_25 47:16

I might need to make it known, but yeah. But I also think she's gonna do it right now. Look in the mic and sell her. Look in we can we can clip it so you know where it's at. Well, you told me look in the you told me to look in the mic. Oh yeah, looking dumb ass. I would love to be your hand and my hand. Yeah, no, uh, those are all facts.

SPEAKER_02 47:39

Uh, but I also think she might have a situation back in Carolina.

SPEAKER_25 47:46

So you know, gonna be respectful of that. Right. See how that plays out. You don't want to get Will Smith. I'm a patient man. Good things come to those who wait. Yeah. And speaking of uh good proverbs and things like that. Oh, do you have another one this week? Once you got it, you got it. No, but I do have some more inspirational things. Um this is a video heavy episode.

SPEAKER_22 48:20

And exactly what you saw just happened. I prayed and I hit the wall. I didn't get my miracle that I prayed for, or at least I thought I didn't. Because looking back nine years now, I did get the miracle. It's just not the miracle I thought. Y'all don't see it, you missed it. This is a because I jumped, but I did not fall.

Food Challenges and Eating Habits

SPEAKER_25 48:56

He did not fall. Yeah, because he's fucking scrapped to the thing. Could you imagine walking in a church and just seeing a giant rock climbing wall on stage? Could you imagine walking in the church? Yeah, I can. Good for you, man. I need to find a church to go to. Is it the church of Jack Daniels? No. As you said last week. No, I'm talking about like a real church.

SPEAKER_24 49:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_25 49:20

Good luck with that. I like church. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, hell yeah. Um I got caught watching porn the other day. In my truck. What a great segue. You probably I thought it was. I thought it was. That's why I brought it up. I was in my truck the other day at the port, and um I thought that I was Bluetooth to my AirPods, and I was actually Bluetooth to my speaker that I have in there because I don't have a radio, so I have a I have a speaker, and I was Bluetooth to that, and I was like, I don't really, I don't always watch porn to be like, oh, I want to jerk off. Sometimes I just really like the story. I'm I I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to porn, but I just like you know, I like seeing some penetration every now and then, you know what I mean? So fucking started playing that shit, and some dude walked up to ask me a question and was just like, oh yeah, oh yeah, and I was like, he just looked at me and I was like, you know? That's fucking insane, dude. And he didn't know. So no, yeah, no, it was insane. It wasn't insane. It's also insane to just be like the middle of the day, just being like, you know what? I'm gonna see what's going on with the uh yeah, with the porns. With the porn industry. I'm just trying to trying to keep them in business, you know. I'm saying, like, they need us. How does it even work with all these free sites? Like, do they do they even make money? They got to. How does it work? Ain't nobody fucking for free. Exactly. Even in a relationship, ain't nobody fucking for free. You you're paying for it some way, whether it's some way or another. Whether it's actions, your time. Compliments, exactly. Just cash, doing the dishes. My biggest thing is I'd just rather give you money. Here's a hundred dollars, let me get some head. Even in a relationship. Sounds like prostitution. No, I don't think it is if you're in a relationship. You think so? I wonder, I would love to talk to like a doctor to figure out the rapid decline of sexual activity in a relationship. Yeah. I mean, every anybody that I talk to says the same thing. After like a year or two, it's like, right. The first two years are great. Awesome.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_25 51:37

It's a fucking um, I call it um being catfished. Sexual catfished. Fried? Blackened. Because that's how I like it, baby. That's how I like it, baby. Let's get up with it. Shit, bro. I thought you were gonna go more into that, so no, I don't want to because I'm realizing now I can just dig myself a hole and then I'll never have sex again. So rather not do it. Yeah, that is that.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

Um you know, um Hannah, she is in school, right?

SPEAKER_25 52:19

Yeah. What's she in school for? Uh massage therapy. Massage therapy. Um, has she given you a massage like this yet? Already know. Looks like it hurt. That's relaxing. My vertigo would be going crazy right now. Bro, you'd probably you'd probably be hard over there. Bro, shit don't make no fucking sense. What if you got a headache? That probably helps with headaches. Disorient your mind. Right. I don't know. Beats the shit out of you. Huh?

SPEAKER_02 53:37

Just getting the shit beat out of you. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 53:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Sounded nice. Yeah. Check this out.

SPEAKER_15 53:48

Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look. Look, look, look, look, look at this. Somebody come look at this. Look at this.

SPEAKER_25 53:54

I hate it here.

SPEAKER_15 53:55

Somebody come and look at this. Bro, you see that? Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look. Look, look, look, look, look at this. Somebody come look at this. Look at this.

SPEAKER_25 54:03

I hate it.

SPEAKER_15 54:04

Somebody come and look at this.

SPEAKER_25 54:06

I wish I could see it.

SPEAKER_15 54:09

Look, look, look, look, look, look, look.

SPEAKER_25 54:10

Well, it's just that video, so fuck it. I'll tell you what it is. It's fucking um incredible haul in a fucking can. Like uh the Jack Daniels fucking cans that you get? Or you know, like the fucking Jim Beam ones, any ones with real liquor in it? It's that, but it's an incredible haul. So what's inside? An incredible hawk. Do you know what an incredible hawk is? Yeah, the big green dude. Yes. Yep. Exactly. That's exactly what's inside of it. Is a big green dude. You just open it and uh big green dude comes out. You don't know what the drink is, Incredible Hulk? Nah. That's why I want to see it. Oh. Well, it doesn't show the drink. Um we will do a shot of an Incredible Hulk the next episode. Alright. It's fucking hypnotic and hennessy. Sounds good. Yeah.

unknown 55:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 55:13

Hypnotic has a lot of fucking sugar in it, so you will have a hangover. I love it. Yeah. My god, Dr. Doom.

SPEAKER_08 55:23

All of those who wanted who's about to celebrate their thing of the miles celebrating, and you guys wanting a drink to celebrate the wonderful Monday holiday and to honor the man and women who fought and died before. Well, let me tell you something, right? Dr. Dew got you guys something that will be really careful and awesome to celebrate to honor. He just threw that shit. How many things have done before this?

SPEAKER_25 55:52

Would you drink this?

SPEAKER_08 55:54

Well, let me show you something right here, y'all. Alright.

SPEAKER_25 56:07

You can out chug him? Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 56:10

Single to do, y'all.

SPEAKER_25 56:14

Let me think back. Um. Cinco they do. If Mountain Dew's not sponsoring him by now, they should. Right. He has invested so much money in giving them so much money. And I mean, and just people watching his fucking videos. Exactly. So uh when we were in the club and on birthdays, we used to do the boot. Boot. Boot. Um, I sucked at it. I kept trying to give you that fucking trash can. Dude, one year for my fucking birthday, I had a friend come, and um basically everybody else gets to choose what you're drinking that year. It's two beers and a shot. I did um Mick Ultra with a shot of Hennessy. And I'm like, it's a boot. It's a boot. It was a big fucking boot. It was a glass boot. Two beers and a shot. And you chug it for your birthday. Boo, boo, boot. Everybody's screaming, boo, boo, boo. And um, this motherfucker keeps bringing me a fucking trash can and putting it in front of me. Don't get me wrong. You drink this fucking boot, you will feel like you have to throw up. Oh yeah. One year I did um twisted tea with peach gym beam. And uh that year the AC was out in the building, and I sat in the bathroom and just sweated for an hour trying to either burp or throw up. Because twisted tea doesn't have carbonation. Bro, that sounds like a fucking terrible birthday. It was. I haven't drink it, I haven't drink twisted tea since then. Yeah. It could it ruined, it ruined any kind of hard tea for me. Every single one, like even the uh liptons, all of them, dude. I haven't I haven't had a liptin. I haven't had any of them since since then. Damn. Yeah, sucks. Now can you drink regular tea? I haven't even I don't drink tea.

SPEAKER_05 58:08

Damn.

SPEAKER_25 58:09

I usually drink uh water, energy drinks, and alcohol.

unknown 58:14

Damn, dude.

SPEAKER_25 58:15

I do some kind of flavored water, maybe a Gatorade here and there, but I don't um I try not to um overdo it. What you got there? Unruly truly, baby. Unruly truly. Sugar. I wasn't gonna drink today. It's your birthday. Weekend. Yeah, you're right. So my point was though, what was the fastest you ever did the boot? Uh I want to say it was like seven seconds. Seven seconds on the boot. Mine was about two minutes and 45 seconds. I will tell you, after after about fucking 12 seconds of boot, boot, boot, people start dispersing. When they realize you're not gonna drink, I I think I had it for the whole night. I was just fucking drinking it, drinking it, drinking it, drinking it. You know, so I don't know. Seven seconds is wild. Maybe maybe you can you can out chug them. I mean, cinco doo do the doop. Check this.

unknown 59:14

I'm a stand up from mine. You better believe it, cuz today won't be your day. I can guarantee it, you should turn and walk away.

SPEAKER_25 59:23

If the trailer park was a person, though I'll let this trail get you. What's the one in the back even fucking saying? You know, I've got a video to follow up that one. Oh, awesome. Do it. This is hey, this is a very video heavy episode, and I'm not mad at it. I'm not mad at it either. Because people don't always want to hear us just talk, they want to hear us talk shit about videos. Also, it it's like we're fucking hanging out.

SPEAKER_24 1:00:01

Whoa.

SPEAKER_25 1:00:02

That shouldn't have been the end of that. Jesus Christ. Those are uh they probably hang out with the ones that I just showed. I think it's from the same place. Um same trailer park? Yeah. I actually have uh one more for you. Okay. Uh kind of relatable.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:18

Unrelatable? You know, I'm gonna I'm gonna let it reset because I need you I need you to see it from the beginning and I can't do it all. Actually, hang on. I got you. We're gonna come up, I'm promised, we're gonna come up with a better method for this.

SPEAKER_25 1:01:35

Who recorded this? That was good. That was I can't believe he did the ramen noodles like that. Why'd he smack him and kick them? What did they do what'd they do to him? Right, because they're not American. You saw the American flag on his fridge. So every time he goes up to his fridge, he's reminded. He only eats like American cheese. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:57

That Swiss cheese, get it the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_25 1:01:59

Bro Swiss, yeah. Yeah. Everything's homegrown. Right. He's definitely the he's definitely told a couple people if it ain't white, it ain't right. Jesus Christ. He's definitely said that shit before. But could you imagine walking in the kitchen and your dad's in there fucking boot scoop boogie and with the American flag and kicking raw noodles? I'd be like, Ma. Dad's gotta go on a home. Jeez. Dad's run his course. Yeah. It's time. Yeah. Wanna see Dr. Dude Chug again? Yeah, let's go.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:38

You guys want a new flavor? You guys want to know something? All right. You guys want a new flavor? You can give me a chance to answer. That's the boot. That's the boot, guys. Well, let me tell you something. What about it? Mountain creating a Sunday drink right here for every single kid and adults who love their favorite.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:04

I love Michael Jackson in the background.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:06

Well, let me show you something right here. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:03:16

Oh, this is for this is a 2000. This is this is a 9-11 tribute. Whoa. Watch the bubble. That might have been faster than seven seconds.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:40

Okay, first of all, the the liquid maybe went up one third of the way. Maybe, maybe a little bit more than that. But it wasn't.

SPEAKER_25 1:03:51

There was not the equivalent of two beers and a shot in there. I agree. No, I agree. Because that was probably looking at it, it was probably fucking 12 ounces altogether.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:05

Yeah, so.

SPEAKER_25 1:04:06

Yeah, because that's about eight right there. I don't think he did the full can.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:04:12

It was more foam than it was anything else. Dr. Dew. He's calling you out again. Episode two. Episode two, he's calling you out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:22

I I think you had more foam in that glass in that boot than you had liquids. I think I can definitely do a speed run faster.

SPEAKER_25 1:04:36

Yeah, so um I'm gonna set it up. I'm gonna set it up. Yeah. You're gonna have to out chug them. Yeah, I think I can do it. I'll start training.

unknown 1:04:48

I don't want to drink that shit.

SPEAKER_25 1:04:49

No, chug it. Go ahead. Nah, dude. I want to hear your throat open up. What? In the gayest way possible. Yeah, that's it'll be like you're drowning all over again. Yeah, dude. That's insane. Well, see what else I got.

unknown 1:05:04

Oh.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:05

I'm gonna show you how to work on your quads. You gotta say it like this. Just like that. I'm gonna won't grow. Okay, one, two, three. That's how you work on your quadrons. I'm gonna show you how to work on your chest now. One, two, three, four.

SPEAKER_24 1:05:23

Jesus.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:25

Six, seven, eight.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:32

Sorry, how you done? How do you like that? I'm sorry about that. How you done? All right. Sorry about that. Sorry, guy. Oh, sorry, how do you guys? I fucking love him.

SPEAKER_25 1:05:44

I think he's hilarious. Dude, that's it's fucking great, but I really want to know what his thing is. Like his ailment? It's something. Take a guess. I don't want to. I'm not a doctor. I can't. I can't divulge. What? I can't divulge because I'm not a I'm not a medical. You can't divulge? Um divulge means you can't tell.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:08

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_25 1:06:08

Uh uh. I can't uh can't elaborate. Okay. Because I'm not a medical professional. Yeah, me neither. But there's definitely something wrong. The breaking ankles uh prank is fucking hilarious because he was just jumping around and shit. But he's gone to the gym more than me. Shit. And I mean, just one time at the gym, you saw them fucking muzzles. Bro, he props to him for being able to Why was he giggling as he was squats? Bro, you just gotta go down. Right. Oh, dude, that was fucking hilarious. It is. Bro, because the noises I make anytime I'm doing a squat like that. Right. Yeah, you have that fucking ankle thing. Yeah, dude. I do have that ankle thing. So it doesn't allow the full rotation of a proper squat anymore. So my form is definitely off when it comes to doing squats. When's the last time you squatted? When you took a shit? Yeah. About an hour ago. Your form's off on that too. You just sit on it like you're fucking trying to run track. I'm the reason that that uh that sign was up in that stall you were in. Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 1:07:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:07:32

Please don't put your foot on the fucking toilet seat when you shit. Right. Oh man. So uh you like wearing hats, right? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes.

SPEAKER_24 1:07:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:07:51

Um what's your favorite kind of hat? Um, it changes. It changes. I was a big uh fitted hat person. Then as I got older, snapback was cool. Now like the bent brim. Yeah. The bent brim. So like the trucker style. Yeah. Okay. Because I used to wear the the flat bill, yeah. You know, for the longest.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:15

So yeah, I I still have a huge collection of those, and I still rock those pretty regularly. Right. Um, but I also like the trucker cap style and everything like that too.

SPEAKER_25 1:08:27

Um have you ever thought about wearing a fedora? Backwards. No, what's a fedora? Fedora's the one that the Irish used to wear. Uh are you talking about what uh OG would wear?

SPEAKER_24 1:08:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:08:45

No. Oh, okay. What's that called? What the fuck is that called? Like a driver cab. Right? Yeah, you would you'd wear it and you'd be like, um, you know, wear two today, sir. Yeah. Chip tip chatio. Right. Uh no, that's not a fedora.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:00

Um but you know what? I'll show you. Okay.

SPEAKER_21 1:09:13

You hold the hat from the back. You put your fingers underneath on the inside of the hat and your thumb in line with the back of the hat. And then, let's see, here we go. Then you roll the hat down your arm and then guide it onto your head. One more time. And you guide it right on it. And again, if you're in motion, if you're walking while you do this and it's one smooth, complete move, it looks really cool. And that just kind of completes the coolness of wearing a cool hat like a fedora.

SPEAKER_25 1:09:49

No, it doesn't. I want you to know. That's a cool dude. It's not. That's a cool dude. It's not. Bro. That's cool, dude. That motherfucker put the fedora on weird as fuck. If I had to put my hat on every fucking time like that, I would never wear a hat.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:05

No, bro. It's a uh move. You know, you gotta shh shh. Do it. Do it with that hat. It's not a fedora, you can't do it. Oh. Has to be a fedora. That's insane. Yeah, dude. But uh, I know. Uh that dude seems pretty fucking cool. Seems cooler than me.

SPEAKER_25 1:10:26

I don't think so. I don't think so. I think that um you may struggle with uh in the girl department, he does even talk to girls because he's too busy fucking flipping his fucking hat on. Could you imagine seeing that walking down the street? I would look at you and be like, what the fuck was that? I'd break ankles. Yeah, yeah. Dog, I can't believe that um we're on fucking Apple Podcasts. Bro, I feel mama, we made it. Right. It's it's it's cool on fucking Spotify, Apple, YouTube, got a TikTok. I mean, we do a lot of fucking hobbies, and this is definitely this one is actually like coming to better than any of the other ones. Yeah, and I'm trying to come too, you know what I mean? Hey. Yeah! Yowza.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:26

Oh, yeah. Where's that one?

SPEAKER_15 1:11:28

Uh oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:33

Found it. Oh yeah. It's all by itself on this page. Huh? It's all by itself on this page.

SPEAKER_25 1:11:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:40

Yeah. Gotta remember that.

SPEAKER_25 1:11:42

What else have we done too? Anything else for the birthday? Um do you do birthday month? Not but I I want to be that person, but I can never get the hype and the following behind it. Yeah, I know that um when we did my birthday, I was like, fuck, your birthday is a month away. What the fuck are we gonna do? Yeah. We sat there and was like, we have to plan something next year. So I say next year. Well, next year I'll be getting married a week after your birthday. Oh yeah. Hell yeah. So I don't know if we can plan a uh a big trip unless we planned it now and paid for it already. Yeah, dude. Uh I think I I kind of had some ideas. Um I was thinking about going bear hunting in Alaska for birthday. No, I'm not going to that. Why? No. Number one, don't really like guns. Number two, I don't want to be near bears. Oh, you know what, would be cool though?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:46

Down uh like I think it's down in like Louisiana and Mississippi, but you can get in a helicopter and go uh fucking with like an AR and just destroy fucking uh at that point I don't care.

SPEAKER_25 1:13:06

Well let's go fishing with grenades. That would be fucking dope. None of this would be dope.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:12

I mean, no, just the fact that like I wouldn't call it I wouldn't call categorize it as fishing, but just like the fact that I'm throwing grenades into a pond, that's fun.

SPEAKER_25 1:13:23

Ooh, that was a good eight. Yeah, in my opinion. Yeah, I'll give it seven, five. Um I want to go fucking snowboarding. Fuck that. I got a bad ankle. What if for your birthday? We try to go to a football game. And you're a Carolina Panther fan. Yeah. We can go to Carolina and probably get like box seats$30. Yeah, all you can eat food, all you can drink, free parking.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:58

Bro, I bet I bet uh at a Carolina game I could do a 4-4-4 challenge.

SPEAKER_25 1:14:04

I could do a fucking 4-4-4 challenge. Yeah. Four quarters, four beers, four dogs. Yeah, that's easy. Yeah, no. I could do that in one quarter. Right. Yeah. Easily. I mean, you did say after the three three dogs and you're done. So I don't know if you could do it. I could I could push the fourth. I don't know if I could do the beer. That that's the thing that's gonna fuck me up, is the beer. Because beer just fucking expands in me. Not only that, it's tall boys. Is it? Yeah. Nah. Well, 444. I could do seven. I could do, I feel like I can smell it. I don't know why. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. That's rude.

SPEAKER_24 1:14:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:14:50

Yeah. It is. Um, no, I'm sorry that we didn't get to do a big shindig for your birthday. Yeah. It was, you know, uh, over the years I've just realized that a birthday is just another day, so I don't really get to celebrate it. It is. And uh I normally don't celebrate mine. This is the first year in a long time that I actually like did something. That's a lie. Because you just said that you know, we'd be at the clubhouse every year. Yeah, so did you. Celebrating.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:18

So did you not last year. Me neither. Yeah. Didn't we do Ollie's birthday last year at the clubhouse?

SPEAKER_25 1:15:29

No, sir.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:30

Was it was that the year before?

SPEAKER_25 1:15:33

You sure it wasn't? It might have been last year. I don't remember. It was last year. Remember the Wi-Fi thing?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:38

No. Remember we had Wi-Fi and then the next day we didn't. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:15:44

So I think that I think that was. Yeah, that's because the old boy, the girl came there and was hugging me and shit. Right. He didn't they were like, oh bro, you gotta turn the white. Was that last year? I th that's what I'm saying. That's that's that's kind of how what the thing that I'm using to gauge when it happened, when the uh we were there. Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:16:00

Remember the baby shower? And you about ripped my fucking car's mirror off. Yeah. I would love to um get Hannah to tell that story. That'd be fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:13

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:16:14

Yeah. Especially when you left. What'd I do when I left? You went to the strip club. Yeah. During Yeah, I fucking, so we had a um we had a baby shower when she was pregnant. And for some reason, I got wasted. I don't know why. I got wasted, and then I hopped in the car with somebody else and then rode to the strip club and left her with no keys or anything, so she couldn't leave. And then I was so drunk that when I came back, I just shut down and blacked out. Yeah. And um I think she left me. Yeah. And I'm like, she's like, you're not gonna kill me carrying no boxes out. I was like, fucking fine, whatever. And I fucking pick up a box and fucking stumbled into my car. Yeah. Yeah. And then she says I looked at her eating celery with celery in my beard and my eyes closed. So that's what I do when I drink. We need to have a day like that again. I'd love to. I'd love to. It's crazy how when you see things now and it's like um coming out in November, right? It'd be like a TV show or premiering in November, and you're like, fuck. We gotta wait forever for that. Right. It's like a few weeks away. Dude, this year's flown by. Yeah, that just means that um we're dying quicker. Yeah.

ChatGPT Tips and Adult Conversations

SPEAKER_02 1:17:40

So uh I had a guy at work and we were talking about this one morning, and how you know, as we get older, we feel like time is passing by faster and faster. Yeah. And he's actually done some research into this, and there's uh some studies out there that show that the reason that we feel that time is going by faster and faster is because we're we're getting put into the same routines. You know, we we wake up Monday through Friday, we go to work, we come home, right, and we we just do the same shit over and over and over again. But now think about the very first time that you did something for the first time. You know, it didn't seem like it just went by like that. So one thing that he said uh that he found during his research was if you incorporate things and uh such as learning new things throughout your life, such as cooking classes, dancing classes, these are just things I'm thinking of off the top of my head. Right.

SPEAKER_25 1:18:46

The things that you you haven't experienced or learned before that it actually helps slow that presumption of the time going by so fast because you're doing something different. Right. What about like jerking off with the other hand?

unknown 1:19:03

No?

SPEAKER_25 1:19:06

Like I'm a lefty, I'll use my right hand, and like I'm like the flash. Right. I'm like fucking going back and like which would be cool because I can just keep jerking off over and over again. Cause you know, as you get older, like you can't do no back-to-back jerking off. Not happening. Well, when I was younger, I'd do it. I'd wipe up and fucking get right back at it, baby.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:34

Insane. Yeah. It's insane. Even at my young age, I I consider that insane.

SPEAKER_25 1:19:41

You're in your 30s now. Yeah. You're a young age after having a birthday. Yeah, dude. And having the memory of a goldfish. So my memory is definitely not as bad as goldfish. Yeah. I got when you said goldfish, I automatically thought about the fucking the chip thing, the cracker. Huh? The goldfish crackers. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know. You're ADD acting up. Yeah. I got a piss. Okay. Um, we'll we'll we'll take a short break. All right. All right. Yeah, we're back. That's right. We're back, baby. All pissed up and pissed off. That's right. I'm not pissed off, but you ain't got no fucking soap in your bathroom. Nah. Um. Insanity. Well, you see, you got my soap out here. Mm-hmm. From sink and the kitchen. When I piss, I don't even touch my dick though. I like I pull it out and I like fucking put it under my balls, and then when I shake it, I like shake with my balls and I'll throw it back over. No touching. That's right, because I'm um health conscious.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:29

You know, I think it's kind of insane that uh the camera in my office also picks up the bathroom. Yeah. So when we were trying to find the piece for your mic, we were going through all the footage in my office trying to see where we put it.

unknown 1:21:46

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:46

You just see me and you going back and forth to the fucking bathroom.

SPEAKER_25 1:21:50

Hey, you remember that time that I um used to come over and stay the night at your house on Fridays? And um, so we can iRace. Yeah. And then that one Friday you went back to the farm.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:22:02

And I stayed up here and like took a shower and everything. I forgot this motherfucker has fucking cameras. And I'm in the fucking bathroom. I'm showering with the door open. When I get out, I'm just like drying off and shit. And then I'm like, fuck. And I literally look at his camera that's in his office, and I was like, and close the door. I'm like, hey, don't look at the fucking camera. Yeah, I don't think you would have been happy about that one. Yeah, dude, no.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:26

Uh that that's fucking insane, though.

unknown 1:22:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:22:30

Oh, you're a peeping Tom. Negative. So all them girls that are sending um, you know, applications in just know he has cameras.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:39

Yeah, I've got one in the kitchen and one in the office. Yeah. Not one in the bedroom. But you should make pornos. Hell yeah. Yeah. Why not?

SPEAKER_24 1:22:51

You ever made a porno before? Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:22:54

Huh?

SPEAKER_24 1:22:55

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:22:56

Made a couple. Yeah. Do you keep them or delete them after you break up with them? I don't know. Kind of depends, don't it? Um. Not for me. What do you do? I delete them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:11

Yeah. I don't.

SPEAKER_25 1:23:14

I don't know. My biggest thing is like, number one, I have a three-year-old that goes through my phone.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:19

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:23:20

I have a 16-year-old who could potentially go through my phone. So I try not to have anything wild like that up there. But I mean, also I delete them because it's like, um, why even like I know on the girls and they're worried about, oh, he's gonna show his friends or blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, no, no, I'm not. Right. I'm not. Same. I'm not doing that shit. Yeah, I've had friends like show me videos of their girl, like right before they start dating, and I'm like, why would you show me this? What if you marry this person? Now, when I'm at your wedding, I'm like, I've seen your pussy before. Weepy. Yeah.

unknown 1:23:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:23:58

Yeah. Weepy's like, oh, you in a bad mood? This will cheer you up. Yeah, I'll get my girl to FaceTime us right now and she'll just be naked in the shower. And I'm like, Yeah. Why not? Yeah. Fuck it. Yeah. If you're offering. Yeah, I'm I'm gonna look. Oh yeah. I'm like, can I stick my face in the camera a little bit just so I can be like, what's good with it? You know, just so they know I'm there. I don't want to be creepy about it. Right. And I don't like, you know, um unauthorized, you know, peeping Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I mean, if a girl gives you their fucking, you know, sends you them naked, they're not expecting you to be like, I'm gonna show them a homeboys. Right. You know what I mean? Like I don't know. Hey, do you think that um chat GCP knows how to um eat pussy? I feel like ChatGPT can do anything. I wonder if it would let's find out. All right, let's find out. Let's find out. Um hey. Can you explain to me how to eat pussy? I can definitely help with this. That in a res you say it.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:17

I can definitely help with that in a respectful educational way. Here's a clear breakdown. One, mindset first. Confidence and patience matters more than technique. Focus on your partner's pleasure, not rushing to the finish line. Consent and communication are key. Ask what feels good. Oh yeah. Two, start slow. Warm up with kissing, touching, and teasing before just diving on in. That's right. Build anticipation by kissing thighs, hips, and around the area first.

SPEAKER_25 1:25:48

Number three is technique. Use your tongue. There's a lot. Bro, I told you, Chat GPT can do anything. Step three is technique.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:57

Use your tongue in varied motions, slow licks, gentle circles, up and down strokes. Focus on the clitoris, the most sensitive part.

SPEAKER_25 1:26:06

Don't ignore the rest. You know where that's at? I think I found it a couple times. A couple times, baby that G spot that.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:13

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:26:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:16

Uh try spelling letters with your tongue. It keeps movement varied. Mix in gentle suction or humming for extra stimulation.

SPEAKER_25 1:26:27

You do it with your do you do the letters with your mouth with or just your tongue? Well, I keep it varied, just like Jat GBT says. I just do like eyes with a dot. I go. Dot. Dot. And then like every now and then I'll do like a a J. Now you gotta do like a wild letter, like a G. Like a uh Yeah, see you move your fucking your head with it. Yeah, dude. Get in there. Uh number four, hands help too. Use fingers to explore. Lightly insigned or just stimulating around the entrance. Like a cave, baby. I was looking at this like a fucking cave, baby. Combine hand and mouth for a fuller experience. That's right. I should have read this shit. Uh step five, listen and adjust.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:15

So what you need to do is you need to pay attention to your partner and to the moans, the breathing, and your partner's body language. And ask them directly, do you like that? Or you could say things like harder or softer?

SPEAKER_25 1:27:28

I like when a girl grabs my fucking head and kind of just puts it in the right spot. Oh, yeah. That's I'm like, yeah.

unknown 1:27:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:27:36

How long? How no, dumb question. No point asking. No, no, no. Go ahead and ask it. I forgot that you're a fucking expert in eating pussy.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:43

Yeah. Uh, so if anybody is wanting to uh send in their submissions to the uh pages, know that this is what he's doing.

SPEAKER_25 1:27:51

He's pussy like he eats food, baby. Yeah. Remember, he thinks it's sexy.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:55

I do think food is sexy, and I also think eating pussy is sexy.

SPEAKER_25 1:27:59

It is. Dude, it really is. It it's my favorite part of sex. Mine is um I like kissing. Yeah. And grabbing a little ass like that. Love some ass. Yeah. I eat ass too. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of people that are weird about that, but I eat ass. I'll eat ass. I don't care. What is motherfucker that smokes cigarettes? Like, I don't eat ass. Would you smoke a fucking cigarette? Right. You put a blunt in your mouth after somebody else?

unknown 1:28:30

Bro.

SPEAKER_25 1:28:31

But you won't eat ass.

unknown 1:28:33

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_25 1:28:33

I little bitch spit in my mouth. Hmm. I tell my girl all the time, let me get a shot. Just spit it in my mouth. She won't. She won't. She's a mother now. I remember when I was at a dude's house one time and he's spit in your mouth. No. And he had two girls one cup. Go into a shower and he got pissed on. Wouldn't do that. No, I wouldn't do that either. It wouldn't do that. Would you eat a girl out while she was bleeding? Strawberry jelly. So I have before. Yeah. Yeah. Came up looking like Hulk Hogan. It wasn't, it was insane. It was fueled by a Bud Light. Were you like, um, did you know she was bleeding? Or were you like, man, she mad wet tonight? Why why it taste like pennies down here? Right. Like she must have been drinking Hennessy. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:28

Um, I honestly can't remember if I knew or not, but I know that we were both on the Bud Lights pretty heavy.

SPEAKER_25 1:29:38

Yeah, that's always been a wild thing to me that you were getting so fucking drunk off of Bud Lights. 4.6% alcohol by volume. Well, that's because when you throw down a case, yeah. You know. I say that shit, but I can drink fucking four seltzers and I'm like, y'all trying to run through this wall? Right. So I mean it's the same concept, you know, just a couple different things added and taken out here and there. I used to love getting drunk and fucking Did you want to finish that?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:12

Yeah, I mean go ahead. I just want everybody to know what I what I now know. Right. Actually, not that I've I now know. I've known this. But he just found out. Six. Step six. Don't rush up the finish. Some people need steady, consistent simulation to climax. And you need to stay locked in once you find what works. Consistency beats switching too much. The biggest tip here enthusiasm goes a long way.

SPEAKER_25 1:30:42

And if you're looking like you're enjoying it, your partner will too. You think if I asked uh JatGBT if it was like, hey bro, how you suck dick? He'd be like, I'm not gay. I don't do that. I picture uh ChatGPT as a guy. I don't know why. Probably I'm sexist. I'm not sexist, but what do you picture? A robot? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:06

Uh I don't really know what I picture when I I I've never thought about it.

SPEAKER_25 1:31:12

But uh Yeah, no, I mean probably a dude, honestly. But I've also But also a woman cuz and knows everything. Right. Would I expect a guy to tell me how to eat pussy, or would I expect a girl to teach me tell me how to eat pussy? Um girl. Exactly. Girl.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:31:35

Yeah, I would think. Exactly. You just got man explained how to eat pussy from another guy. Alright, bro, here's what you do. Spell your name with your tongue. That'll help you out. Where I used to get so drunk. And then I would climb on top of bars and dance. Yeah, I miss it. Pretty sure I have a couple videos of that somewhere. I remember the one night that uh Hannah choked you out. Yeah. She does it all the time, to be honest. She attacks me. Yeah, all the fucking time. She chokes me out and punches me in the dick. That's her favorite thing to fucking do. That's great. Um did you say your cat knocked over your TV last week? Yeah. It's broke.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:25

It's broke?

SPEAKER_24 1:32:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:27

Damn, dude. Yeah. Is the cat still alive?

SPEAKER_25 1:32:32

Unfortunately, yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:36

I'm glad the cat's alive.

SPEAKER_25 1:32:38

Good for you. Over here, I'll kill pussy. Wait. No, I I. My girl has cats. And that's fine. I just don't like to clean up after something that I don't feel like is mine. Or getting my things broken by something that isn't mine. Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:10

Especially with the uh now I can tolerate cleaning up behind something that I don't believe is mine, but once my belongings start getting broken, that's when I feel there's an issue.

SPEAKER_25 1:33:22

Yeah, if your cat knocked over your fucking TV, your$1,200 TV. 14. 14, you probably take it back to the Belm. At least think about it. No, I I wouldn't because it's my cat. Okay. But if it was your cat, I wouldn't have a cat. Role play. Okay. Sorry, that was bad improv. It was. Yeah. Really bad.

SPEAKER_24 1:33:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:47

But if you had, if it was yours and it broke my$1,400 TV, then yes.

SPEAKER_24 1:33:53

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_25 1:33:55

Vice versa. Why would my cat be over here? I like bringing my cat with me. Right. Everywhere you go. Uh speaking of the fucking cat, you're going to love this one. You're going to love this one. I um my son had a volleyball tournament yesterday. I'm wearing uh his team colors are green and gold. So I'm wearing a green polo, some fucking khaki shorts. I'll put my white vans on. Look good. We get to the event. Um, and I'm like walking, and I'm telling my girl, like, yeah, yeah, babe. I'm trying to get these bitches dirty. Because you know, dirty vans are where it's at.

unknown 1:34:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_25 1:34:36

But you can't just like throw them in the dirt and shit. Like, you gotta wear them and get them dirty. You know, so I'm like, we were walking inside and I go to the bathroom and I'm like, looking down at my shoes, and I'm like, look weird as fuck. Like they just look weird as fuck. And I was like, cat shit on them. Mm-mm. This fucking cat pissed on my shoes. Jesus Christ, dude. You couldn't smell that? No, how would I? They're on my fucking feet. I mean, cat piss normally has like a strong. Yeah, no, it does. Yeah. So I took the shoe off and I like smelt it like when you got close. So it's been there for a while, is what I'm thinking. And you could just smell it. And I remember I went up to my son, he's down there like practicing with his head. I was like, hey, come holler at me real quick. Come, come here. He's like, What's up? I was like, look at my shoe. He was like, is that piss? And I was like, it is. It is piss. He said, oh, pissy shoes. So I sat there for almost 12 hours with one shoe covered in piss. And I was not happy about it. Not and there was nowhere around to buy shoes. There was no going home. It was just me being in pissy shoes. That's that's fucking great. It's not dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:54

I definitely would have been hot about that.

SPEAKER_24 1:35:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:57

Um twas. Now I'm lucky with my cat. My cat uses her litter box. She's she's potty trained. Right. You hear me? Right. Um but also I feel like oh your cats, not my cats. Hannah's cats. Yep. Used to be potty trained, but uh one went on a little adventure and came back completely gangster. Yeah, with a with a brain that's completely rewired. Uh what adventure did this cat go on?

SPEAKER_25 1:36:35

My girl was at work one day. I came home from the from a store. I don't fucking know where. And the baby met me outside, and I had to prop open the door to bring stuff inside. I think it might have been groceries. Doing that, her cat got out for 40 days. 40 days and 40 nights. That's then that's just like a biblical wander in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. And now she's back, she looks like a gremlin, her hair won't grow back, and she pisses everywhere. So that's insane, dude. You you changed that cat's life forever. Yeah, well, about to change it again. The door might be left open, you know what I'm saying? Ooh. All right, Hannah, we're calling you out. No, no, we're not. She'll beat me up, dog. I'm not doing it. She'll choke you out hitting you in the dick. Yeah. I think it'd be cool to make a podcast with her, too.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:36

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Def we're definitely gonna have to upgrade this more than likely so we can get more mics.

SPEAKER_24 1:37:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:43

But for right now, it's working out perfect.

SPEAKER_24 1:37:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:47

Um, earlier we were talking about chat GPT sucking dick.

SPEAKER_25 1:37:52

Um, I'm pretty sure this dude sucks dick. I'm pretty sure he shows it. Shows his dick?

SPEAKER_02 1:38:02

No, but he shows his skill level. And he's also, if you notice, uh, you'll see in the video, he is also a teacher, and he also teaches. Gonna hate this.

SPEAKER_16 1:38:17

Walking that bitch, like, how the hell y'all doing? How y'all feeling today? Ready to turn myself into a station. I made a kill in the day, always gonna be money, always gonna be hoes, always gonna be sick. Only thing you got is your word. I put that shit on my mama.

SPEAKER_25 1:38:31

I hated it. You saw grandma? Yeah. You that's your favorite part. Grandma was grandma was grandma. Grandma was getting in there. Whose dick is that long? Right, dude. Jesus Christ. That was double handing with some space in between. Mm-hmm. Oof. That's a good one. Yeah, that was like a three dog. Yeah, I got the uh show up in my mouth again. Oh, not that, not the show up. Yeah, it's starting to come up again. Had really bad heartburn last night. Hated it. Damn. Um so how do you feel that this island is working for our podcast? I like it. You like it? Or you want to get a table? Uh we I was thinking about it. Right. Um so that we don't have to keep moving shit around? Possibly. But you know, we got an IKEA right down the street.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:28

We do. And uh I think we may need to take a trip over to IKEA and uh kind of play this out.

SPEAKER_25 1:39:40

Good setup.

SPEAKER_06 1:39:49

Don't you swear at me, you little shit. I am your mother. All I do is worry, slave, and defend. No, I get it's a fucking fix with a fucking face. Okay, I think this is good. Okay, I can see myself here.

SPEAKER_25 1:40:09

That's funny. That's actually funny. Reminds me of my childhood. Yeah, no, so uh Did you ever get cussed out at the dinner table?

SPEAKER_02 1:40:23

No. No, I I didn't grow up in that kind of household. So when I grew up, it was uh my birth mother left us in 2003 when I was eight years old to go chase drugs. Oh yeah. Love it. Love drugs. So uh it was just me and my dad for a long time, up until around 2008, 2009, when he met who I call my mom. Right. Um but yeah, no, uh while it was just me and him, uh a lot of times we would come home and we'd stop at the food line almost every night and we'd pick up a rotisserie chicken. Right. And we'd pick out a bag of Doritos. Okay. And that was dinner.

unknown 1:41:16

Damn.

SPEAKER_25 1:41:19

Wasn't terrible. Oh, so you didn't have like the childhood where uh your mom would tell you to take something out the freezer and you'd forget. No. Oh, that was the worst. Your mom'd be like, make sure you defrost the blah blah blah. And then you see her fucking backing up into the fucking driveway, you're like, fuck. Run that bitch under hot water. Trying to. She'd know. Yeah. She'd know every time. My mom used to like, you can't watch TV till your homework's done. She'd come home, we'd cut the TV off, she'd go back there and fucking feel it. This is back when it was the tubular TVs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She'd go feel it, she's like, this TV was on. Like, fuck, man. She knows everything. Yeah. It's insanity.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:57

Um so uh but no, like my mom, uh she would always wake up way before I had to wake up for school. And so like all the meats and shit would be defrosted or whatnot. Right. Um sometimes she couldn't sleep, and she'd be in there moving pots and pans around at fucking three o'clock in the morning. Jesus.

Wedding Plans and Final Thoughts

SPEAKER_25 1:42:24

And that would wake me up. Yeah. That would wake him up by all the lights on, the robot vacuum, and his alarm's going off and whatnot.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:33

This was also when I was like 160, 170 pounds and healthy. Right. You know, so uh I didn't have the sleep apnea like I got now. Right.

SPEAKER_25 1:42:46

So dog, I'm hungry.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:51

You're hungry? Yeah. Well, you know, we have some burritos.

SPEAKER_25 1:42:57

Are you gonna say it right this time? Burritos. Burritas.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:00

We got some burritas in the fridge that we got this morning.

SPEAKER_25 1:43:05

Yeah, we do. That was a good place. I'm glad we went there. Is that we're so you're so glad we went there? Yeah, I said I'm glad we went there. Oh yeah. Yeah. Me too. That show's good as fuck. Yeah. You got anything else over there?

SPEAKER_02 1:43:19

Um Yeah, this might make you hungry.

SPEAKER_21 1:43:23

Um deer. It's time to work on our John Deer.

SPEAKER_18 1:43:37

Somebody ordered a sandwich.

SPEAKER_25 1:43:43

No. No. No. You don't fill up with mayo like that? Mayo's decent. Yeah. A lot of mayo is um catastrophic. Yeah, it's overtaking. Yeah. I don't like my mayonnaise to be dripping. I look like way too much fucking mayonnaise. Well, there's also nothing else on the bread. Yeah, he's just fucking squirting that shit from fucking air. Yeah, like a fucking bartender. Yeah. Watch this trick drink that I do. Right. Stupid. The shit that people put on fucking video for you to watch.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:21

That is fucking insane. It's like, how how how the fuck did you sit here, come up with the idea, take the time to set up your camera, grab your John Deere children's toy belt.

SPEAKER_25 1:44:34

Right, grab some bread, grab the mayo, press record. And not think it's a bad idea. Right. And do it, and then re-watch and be like, that's the one. Yeah. Perfect. That that this is it. This is the one. I hate to see the drafts. Oh my god. There probably aren't any. No, there are. It wasn't great. Man, if I can shoot the mayonnaise from up here. Right. He had it too close the first time. How many pieces of bread do you think he fucked up? I don't know. He probably ate them. I think he ate every single one. He's like, Yeah, he's like, oh, I can't waste this. But just a mayonnaise on bread is insane, dude. I mean, call that a uh a wish sandwich. Wish you had more. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, uh my son used to love mayonnaise sandwiches. Really? He would say, let me get a sand sandwich of Montechio. Which is, you know, butter, but mayonnaise for him.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:35

Um I love tomato sandwiches. You're full of tomatoes.

SPEAKER_25 1:45:42

I don't like tomatoes. You don't like tomatoes?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:45

Damn, dude. Getting a good tomato with some salt, pepper, and some mayo, putting that slapping that shit in between two things of bread.

SPEAKER_25 1:45:57

Sounds soggy. It's not. That shit fucks with your head so good. I like uh a sandwich with pickles on them. Oh, dude. Love pickles.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:08

Now, are you a are you a hamburger dill or are you a uh what's the other one? Sweet and butter.

SPEAKER_25 1:46:16

Butter, yeah. Bread and butter. I do both. Yeah, fuck a bread and butter pickle. I will set those on fire. No, I like all pickles. Pickles are good as shit. Especially the meaty ones. No.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:31

Um earlier we spoke about your reading skills.

unknown 1:46:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25 1:46:42

What do you think your math skills are? I'm a fucking beast at math. Okay. 12 times 12. 144. Okay, that's pretty good. I got a guy that's better. Can't wait to see him. He probably looks like fucking rain, man. This has gotta get better.

SPEAKER_18 1:47:06

I speak eight languages. I know algebra one, two, and three. I never graduated school, never made it past fifth grade. I do mathematical equations in the quadruples of algebra without even doing it on paper. Um mathematical equations. I bet you I can tell what you're right off the back. Twelve times twelve. Twelve times uh twelve times twelve is uh ninety one. Twenty-free.

SPEAKER_25 1:48:00

Literally lied. Hey, it speaks eight languages. Doubt it. I believe him. He probably speaks eight languages that nobody else speaks, so nobody can call him out on that shit. He started crying in the middle of it. He's like, I'm going through a lot right now. Hey uh top comment on this one.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:25

It's uh it says Math X meth check mark. Right. So that was a good one.

SPEAKER_25 1:48:38

Uh see. What a Yeah, he knows the meth equations. Bro. But not the math equations. Sometimes it takes me a little second to get the math, and I'm like, I can do it though in my head. I can, you know, figure it out. Just or I'm like 10 off, you know, but I always just think of everything as money.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:58

So um so earlier you said you had a wedding uh coming up. Uh when is that?

SPEAKER_18 1:49:09

I speak eight languages.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:10

Sorry. Uh so you're getting married? Is that approaching us soon or next year. Next year? You excited? Yeah. Okay. Um I'm excited. I'm excited for it too. I'm really happy to see you going through this um and getting married. But uh I can't wait to do this at your wedding. You're not.

SPEAKER_17 1:49:43

You cannot marry that guy. He is married to Mary! Oh, I'm so sucked. Oh, this is the wrong wedding. I'm so sorry. Carry on.

SPEAKER_25 1:49:57

That's hilarious. And if you do that, I'll kill you.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:03

No, uh, I have uh I definitely have something planned uh for your wedding that I'm gonna do. And I'm excited for it. Did you get an invitation? You told me I'm uh well, first you told me I was the best man, and then you said, I'm not just having a best man, I'm having best men. Yeah. So, but I'm still gonna honor uh the best man thing. Okay. Uh, and I'm going to be the best man. And I'll tell you why I'm gonna do that. It also because the reason that I'm going to forcefully be the best man is because something personal that happened to me, where my p ass fucking brother. Hey, yeah, fuck. I don't give a fuck if he does it or not. He's a fucking d in my eyes. Uh, but during his wedding, or right leading up to his wedding, he was like, You're the best, you're gonna be my best man, you're gonna be my best man. I was like, Cool, thank you. I would I'm your only fucking brother, so I appreciate that. And then uh my uh brother-in-law ended up being the best man all without all without notice. It just happened. And uh at least I spoke up. Right. But I got down there to to the wedding on the wedding day thinking that I was gonna be the best man, and just having that shit just not being the best man for my fucking brother. And uh yeah, no, I think about that shit every now and then, and that shit fucking sucks. And uh my brother's piece of shit for that. There's a whole lot that we can go into that wedding, and my brother and my siblings, and how the fuck they are, but uh we'll save that for another episode. But yeah, no, so I'm gonna be the best man at your fucking wedding. Okay. I'm gonna live out my dream as the best man.

SPEAKER_25 1:51:59

Alright. And you're gonna fucking love it. I hope so. Oh yeah. Don't hype it up and then shit the bed. You know me what show me why I made a mistake. Have you ever shit the bed? Like almost. Like almost, like a real hot fart. Like shit. Yeah. Oh, you shit. Oh shit. And you run to the bath. I've I've never shit in the bed. Have you?

SPEAKER_02 1:52:26

No, I haven't shit the bed, but dude, I fucking woke up the other morning, middle of the night, in the process of throwing up. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I I uh think I gave myself some food poisoning, but I was uh but uh ladies, don't let them cook for you.

SPEAKER_25 1:52:47

No, no, no. I leftovers that sat too long.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:52

Yeah. And uh but no, yeah, I I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like just immediately just knew that I had to run to the bathroom. And I did. And I was impressed with my skills. Oh yeah. Yeah, dude. Alright, I'm hungry. Yeah, dude. You know what? I'm hungry too. I think this has been a good, really good second episode. I think we're actually at the two-hour mark.

SPEAKER_25 1:53:22

Wow. You wanna um any word of words of wisdom? You got any words of wisdom? I'm drinking this time. Yeah, dude, so am I.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:30

Um words of wisdom for ya. Um listen to your partner and watch their moans and their body language. Oh, yeah. And uh, you'll know if you're eating pussy right or not. There it is. There it is, baby. Let's get it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:54:09

Talking about another week in the past, right?