New Year, Same Unfiltered Chaos

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Transcript

Cold Open And 2026 Hopes

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Um yum Yo, it's Winston and Ryan, the unfiltered crew. Fat minute legends with opinions for you. Texas laps, no filter, no cap, poor drink, take a seat, we just talk and rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yellin' loud. Every topic gets pissed. Beard so thick, make it smuggle the brisket. Voices boomin' harder than the 12 minutes of kidney, grab your lone star. We ain't polite. Welcome to the show, it's a bar fight tonight. Just talking dumb, but the no rules, no change. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas T, Texas, beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's whiskey and fine, keep it raw, keep it tight. Just talking dunk, but the no rules, no change. Two fat boys taking over the game. Texas T, Texas beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's whiskey and fine, keep it raw, keep it tight. Ryan got the volume of a megaphone riot. Winston got the boots, but his liver stay quiet. Topics jump wild like a bull in the shoot. From brisket to politics, no subjects moot.

SPEAKER_09 1:10

No subjects moot. That's right, that's a real word, Hannah. Did you know that? Do you know what moot means?

SPEAKER_04 1:16

Fuck off.

SPEAKER_09 1:17

Oh, yeah. Welcome to the show. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to Just Talking Unfiltered.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

I've never been here before.

SPEAKER_09 1:25

Sounds like it. Really? That's a fucking lie.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

Why the fuck is that still going?

SPEAKER_09 1:38

He likes to do that every now and then. And the fucked up thing, like I said last time, is I feel like I should know what they're saying. Yeah. I feel like I should know what they're saying too. Yeah.

unknown 1:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:50

How was y'all's happy? 2026. We're here. We made it. That's right, Brian.

SPEAKER_08 1:56

We are here, and it is 2026. I couldn't be happier for 2026. 2025 was a hell of a year. A lot of things happened in the year 2025, but you know what? We're here now. It's 2026, and we're on to bigger and better things, and I can only see good things down the road for us. Who is he talking to?

SPEAKER_09 2:12

Hannah, tell us about your dream for 2026. How do you feel you're gonna be a better person? What's your dreams? What's your ambitions? What's your dreams and nightmares? What's your resolutions?

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Asking the brown person what her dream is.

SPEAKER_09 2:24

Right. Is it like MLK's?

SPEAKER_02 2:27

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_10 2:30

I feel like it's like MLK's. You have a dream.

unknown 2:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Thank you.

SPEAKER_10 2:34

I want to hear it.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

I don't.

SPEAKER_09 2:36

You should get closer to the mic. There you go. Oh, that was good. Yeah, that was good. All right. Anyways. Um Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to you. Welcome to you. How have you been? Bro, I've been uh I've been chilling. Yeah? Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_08 2:55

Learn on how to drive trains and shit.

SPEAKER_09 2:58

You're driving trains now? You're working for Norfolk Southern?

SPEAKER_08 3:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 3:02

Ocean View. Norfolk Ocean View. Yeah. He's out here stealing fucking trains. Yeah. Yeah. Learn how to drive trains. Simulator. Yeah, it's a simulator. He's got like gloves and he fucking like rings a bell. I don't.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Is he crashing those into our house also? Flew a plane into our home.

SPEAKER_09 3:25

No, into our neighborhood. It was fun. It was in our neighborhood. He was trying to taxi in there and he clipped. He clipped uh Hyundai Sonata.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Mine? And that's why your paint was like that.

SPEAKER_09 3:38

Alright, let's start the show. Let's start the show. Oh my god, I almost fucked up. This uh could be from where we're at.

SPEAKER_00 3:48

I'm just standing here. Oh no.

SPEAKER_10 3:54

This could be ocean beer.

SPEAKER_09 3:55

That's a royal farms I've ever seen one.

SPEAKER_10 3:58

My girl's Kun.

SPEAKER_09 4:00

What's on his waist?

SPEAKER_10 4:01

Yeah, Mary K gun. Looks like he's uh Colossomy bag? Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 4:05

He said he had a Mary K gun.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

That's Winston when the store doesn't have the pouches that he wants.

SPEAKER_09 4:12

No, I get different flavors. That's him at the one at the 7 Eleven down there when they're not paying any attention. Bro.

SPEAKER_10 4:18

The fentanyl 7 Eleven?

SPEAKER_09 4:19

Dude, that one dude, anytime I go in there and I'll tell him something, and he's like, okay. And then he'll give me the complete wrong thing. And I'm like, Yeah, no, it's not what I wanted at all. Yeah, it's been I don't like that 7-Eleven at all. And I hate going in there. It enrages me. Yeah, they don't pay attention to shit. Well, he's always on the phone. Even when the chick was in there, she was on the fucking phone. I'd be just in there stealing shit. Yeah. No. I don't know how to steal. I'm like, I'm taking this, because I don't lie. George Washington. Abe Lincoln. No, it was George Washington. It was literally honest Abe. Right. That's what I thought. George George Washington and the cherry tree? That's not why you would say George Washington. He never lied. George Washington never told a lie. That's what I just said. Yeah, but I think he did. Oh yeah. Remember when he said all people are created equal?

SPEAKER_10 5:19

Yeah, well.

SPEAKER_09 5:21

They're not? Hundreds of years of slavery, you know. Were there them back then? What did you just say to me? What did you just say to me? What did you say? I said, were they then there was it was that going on back then? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

Winston, who was the president that, you know, kind of helped out with all that a little bit? Um because it wasn't George Washington.

SPEAKER_09 5:42

Harrison Ford. Why talk to him? Why talk to him?

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Built tough.

Smelling Salts And Household Chaos

SPEAKER_09 5:48

Star Wars. Is that the same person? You said Harrison Ford. Gerald Ford. This fucking guy. Oh my God. Oh man. 2026 is going to be great. Is it? Yeah. I think. No, I think 2026 is 2026 is going to be funny. What did you just say? Right. I have something for us to try. I told you out of surprise. Okay. Alright. I didn't know we were getting into it this early. Oh yeah. Yeah, it needs to be this early. Close your eyes. Let me slide it to you. Put your hand out like that. I don't. Put your hand out like that. No, it's not. Just fucking, dude. Bro, this isn't big enough to be a fucking fucking dildo. It might be a spider. I'm not going to slide you a spider. Close your eyes, too.

SPEAKER_08 6:34

I don't want to close my eyes. Oh.

SPEAKER_09 6:42

Yeah. So I already opened it. Uh-huh. And I hate it. The kids were just sniffing that shit like it was nothing. I didn't like it. Smelling salts. Maximize support for your lifting speed. If you pass out doing this. Let me read the instructions.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Or you just fucking smell it.

SPEAKER_09 7:02

Hold on. There are safety tips, Hannah. Ask chat GPT how to do it. For external use only.

SPEAKER_08 7:11

Do not ingest or contact with eyes. In such cases, please drink water to induce vomiting or rinse.

SPEAKER_09 7:18

If you get it in your eyes, you gotta drink water.

SPEAKER_10 7:21

My eyes.

SPEAKER_09 7:25

Use at a safe distance. The fragrance is strong.

SPEAKER_08 7:28

Do not inhale directly into the mouth of the bottle. Inhale within two to three fingers or fan the bottle with your hand.

SPEAKER_09 7:39

Moderate use. Smell only one to two times per use to avoid discomfort. This is how I knew he was in the military. Do not overuse or rely on it. Use it in combination with exercise for better results.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

No, this is how we know that you're the only child left alone a lot because he actually had to read instructions to get started.

SPEAKER_09 7:58

I don't know how to build this. Ammonium carbonate, essential or natural fragrance. How to use step one. This is a tough listen. Open the bottle. Step two, hold the bottle six inches from the nose.

SPEAKER_08 8:11

Okay, now is that six inches?

SPEAKER_02 8:14

I'm gonna go home because by the time I make it there and back, he's still gonna be looking this bottle over.

SPEAKER_09 8:22

Alright, well. That's not how you're supposed to do it. Does it feel like anything? Smells like cat piss. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 8:38

That's probably why the boys were so used to it.

SPEAKER_08 8:40

It just smells like ammonia.

SPEAKER_09 8:42

Yeah, that's the biggest ingredient.

SPEAKER_02 8:45

Like number one.

SPEAKER_09 8:49

We need to get some good stuff. Let me try it. I don't think this will make me lift more, but uh it'll make me want to take a shower. I don't like it. It smells like cat piss.

SPEAKER_07 9:07

It hurts.

SPEAKER_09 9:08

It's cat piss. It doesn't hurt y'all? You don't care. You're like, I am a cat. No. I'm gonna drink it. I want some water. Speaking of fucking cats. Speaking of fucking cats. Not fucking cats, but fucking cats. What? Y'all remember how Landy Landerson broke my TV? Did he ever get you a new one? I did get a new one. Oh yeah. He didn't get me a new one because um somebody won't let him get a job. Um no, so we got a new TV, we got it downstairs, and the other day he decided it'd be a good idea to try to knock that bitch over too.

SPEAKER_02 9:52

No, he didn't try to knock it over. He was like trying to catch the hockey puck on TV or something.

SPEAKER_09 9:58

That's understandable. I was hot. Pissed. Like, I don't touch my TV! Pissed. Right. I thought you mounted the TV. It's mounted. Oh well, at least you can't knock that over. Huh? You can't knock that over. Shit. No, stuff in our house just be falling out the walls. Are you putting them in studs? What are studs? I am a stud. So I'll put him in.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

He doesn't check for anything. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 10:28

You don't have to check for stuff. You just fucking throw it in the wall, call it a day.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 10:34

Call it a day. I hung a dartboard up the other day.

SPEAKER_06 10:39

I built this.

SPEAKER_09 10:48

You might want to fix that. I'll build that.

SPEAKER_11 10:52

You also broke that.

SPEAKER_07 10:59

That's great. But I can build things.

SPEAKER_09 11:06

I can fucking build th- Yes, I can. No. Yeah. No. Can you build a birdhouse? Yeah, fuck yeah. There's no studs in a butter in a birdhouse. Yeah. Yeah, fuck with me. I know stuff. Ask me another home home. Ask me another hardware question. Um, okay. Uh, what's the difference between a miter and a table saw? A miter saw? A table saw. A table saw is on the table and you like wind it up to get the blade to come up. A miter saw is fucking like for miter people. I think it's the one that's like um built by miter. You got a jigsaw. A miter saw is the one that has the band that goes through the fucking thing like that. That's a bandsaw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same thing. I think a miter saw. A miter saw is the one that uh like a whole saw close. Yeah. Ask me another one. Ask me one, Hannah. Ask me a hardware question. I used to work at the hardware store.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

Okay. Um, how was putting together the gaming desk?

SPEAKER_09 12:13

How was putting together the gaming desk? I should probably be asking you that question because I did not put it together. I was watching a hockey game and I lost track of time and I forgot that she was in there putting it together, and then I went to sleep.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

You didn't forget. I did not forget.

SPEAKER_09 12:29

Oh, now you want to talk on the mic. I I forgot. And then I and then I came in there. What was the score of the game? The score of the game was like it went to overtime for sure. Okay, so that's that's understandable. Yeah. It was against the Golden Knights, so it was a good game. I remember somebody that was the Golden Knights. And what did you say? What go ahead?

SPEAKER_02 12:51

And on top of that, I've built all of the things that have been built at our house.

SPEAKER_10 12:56

Listen, I built this. I built that.

SPEAKER_02 13:01

That's not our house.

SPEAKER_09 13:02

Is it falling again? I'm watching it. I think I think you're good. No, yeah, you okay. Okay, you're the man. You're the man. I know. You're the man. Uh no. You're the man. That's right, Brian. She's the man. Alright, moving on. Wasn't that an Amanda Bynes movie? She's the man. Yes. Have y'all seen her now? Yeah. Drugs. Have y'all seen the do y'all remember that show Ned's Declassified?

SPEAKER_07 13:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 13:35

Have you guys seen the actor that was in that, like on the streets of LA? Cracked out of his mind. Yeah, dude. Methamphetamines. Yeah, them them heroin. Heroines, methamines, crack, and setamines. Right. All the means are being pretty mean to him. Pretty sure we could find him if we just walk down the block. He might be in Ocean View. It might not be LA. Oh, yeah, I have a bone to pick what you bought last episode. What happened last episode? I asked me to bleep a name out. I didn't. You didn't. I definitely didn't. You didn't. It says that motherfucker's name clear as day. I know I know for a fact. The drama. The drama. Oh, you heard it? Or he heard it? Huh? He heard it? No. Oh. Well, uh, I know for a fact that I I did maybe I forgot to do it in the audio version.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

Who was it?

SPEAKER_09 14:32

God damn it. Yeah, I bleep that one out now. He won't. He'll forget. No, I remember the last time. He's like, God damn it. Oh, Hannah. Have I ever told you about the time that uh Winston wrecked his truck into a ditch? I didn't wreck my truck into a ditch. He got mad that somebody didn't give him a dollar. That's not what it was. I was delivering pizzas at night and I backed out of a neighborhood. What episode did you first sell that at? Because I want to bring it back up where you got mad that somebody didn't tip you. No, when somebody didn't tip me was when I wrecked the Lancer. Yeah. You did both. So once again, Big Cook, he was out here wrecking trucks. I didn't wreck it. It just backed into a ditch. Does he listen? I think, yeah. Say hi. Would you like never mind. What's this like? I hated here already.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

All I thought about was the question.

SPEAKER_09 15:31

Oh, are you readable? That's a good one. Yeah, but I have a question. Have you ever been in a men's bathroom, Hannah?

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Um why? You made me help you clean the men's bathroom. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You were working.

SPEAKER_09 15:55

Have you been in there any other time?

SPEAKER_02 15:57

Um, no, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_09 15:59

Good. Good.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

Well, no, I did go in one time. No, listen, listen to this. Can't you use the urinal? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_09 16:06

Yeah, one of them fucking uh P funnels. I'm pretty sure they could just angle it. I don't think that's a thing. I think you can. Can you?

SPEAKER_02 16:13

That's not how that works.

SPEAKER_09 16:14

You can't pull it up a little bit? You gotta pop the hood on that motherfucker. Go ahead.

Public Bathrooms And Boundaries

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Don't want me to tell the story or no? Yes. Um no, I had to go in with somebody else because there was a guy trying to fight this other guy, and his girlfriend went in there to try to stop him. So then we were getting told, Oh my god, there's a girl in the men's bathroom, and security at that place were not the brightest. Oh, this is the bank. And they could have just walked in.

SPEAKER_09 16:47

And now you were like, now there's two girls in here.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Um so then we went in there.

unknown 16:52

And yeah.

SPEAKER_09 16:53

What'd you do? Did you shit?

SPEAKER_02 16:55

We we got the one girl out of there. Oh, and then told everybody else to stop because why are y'all all about to fight in this tiny fucking bathroom?

SPEAKER_09 17:05

Just go outside. One time I caught a girl in the bathroom at Eagle's Nest, and then um everybody said oh well. And so I stopped kicking people out for going in different bathrooms because nowadays who are you to assume? You never know. Who are you to assume? I'm gonna go in the girls' bathroom. We can assume. Yeah, we can assume. That was a man. That was a man in the bathroom. Um I like how crow. Oh, but let me get back to what I was saying. Go ahead. What were you gonna say? No, go ahead. How come men's bathrooms? I know you can attest to this, smell like cat piss. No, yeah, they smell like the fucking smell of salts. No, how come they're set up the way they are? You'll be taking a shit and you can look through the crack and fucking see somebody washing their fucking hands or somebody shitting right there or a urinal. Why the fuck are the cracks so big? Bro, I don't know. Like, they're not like that in other countries. If you ever have you ever seen like a uh what a public restroom was like in Japan?

SPEAKER_08 18:04

Bro, secure, solid, private, all the way, top to bottom, side to side, left to right, up down.

SPEAKER_09 18:10

I walked. You can't peek in that motherfucker.

SPEAKER_10 18:13

Speaking of the person's name I said the other day or today.

SPEAKER_09 18:17

I wasn't gonna say it. Oh, okay. Um, he was in the bathroom, and I thought about going in there, and then I remembered how that bathroom was, and literally how that bathroom is is when you walk in, the fucking shitter is right in front of you, and it has two like big ass cracks you can see through, so you can see who's in the fucking toilet, and it's ridiculous. I love the story that you were telling me when you uh were delivering and you went and used their bathroom, and like the fucking doors only came up to like your chest. Yeah. So you're just sitting on the toilet with your head out looking at everybody. Yeah. It sucks for me because I'm a stand-up wiper. So my dick just be dangling, motherfuckers just be looking at me. I hate I hate public bathrooms, but I use them a lot. Yeah, I don't. Are you a stand-up wiper or sit-down wiper? Depends on the situation, Brian. Okay. I don't like I don't know how y'all be digging back there like this. My arms are I got a big body, little arms. Yeah, I can only do it with my right arm. I I I fucking stand up and then I like I go through the through the grease right here. Yeah. Anna, how do you do it? She doesn't. She don't poop.

SPEAKER_12 19:31

I don't go to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_09 19:33

That's insane. Cyborg.

SPEAKER_12 19:35

So AI.

SPEAKER_09 19:36

Right. You know what they say if you don't shit, then your breath probably smells like it. But yours smells really good, so I think you shit. One time I was oh dude, have I ever told you this story? Which one? Uh, where the dude was jerking off while I was shitting. Remember I told you about this when I got fucking uh Probably. No, I got I got sexually basically sexually.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

I wanted to cry out as yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_09 20:09

I wanted like that shit made me. All right, so look, I'm in the bathroom. I was like,$20. No, I was up here at fucking Big Charlie's, dude. And I fucking I was shitting. I was looking at my phone and stuff, and I and like through the crack again, I saw this dude kept fucking turning around and looking, and I was like, fuck is this weirdo doing? And I'm looking and like he's not pissing. I could see his hand moving. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I was like, hmm. And then he came into the stall next to me, and I could see his wiener on the floor. Not like his actual wiener on the floor, but like the shadow of him jerking off next to me. And I started fucking hitting the fucking thing, and I was pissed, dude. But you can't fight somebody without wiping your ass for something like I'm gonna fuck you up when I get out of here. And by the time I got out there, the cops were already there, and I couldn't fuck him up. And it stopped me from using the bathroom in public for a really, really, really, really, really long time. Oh, the cops were here for him? Yeah. Oh shit. No, no, no. I guess somebody else was in there and heard me. But when I went out to tell the people, they were like, not again. Not again. Why do y'all keep letting this dude fucking come in here? God damn it, Bobby. And I wanted to fight him so fucking bad, yo. Because I don't think that's the first time that's happened. Well, obviously. One time. Because they said No, I mean, I think I saw him jerking off before. Oh, the same guy?

SPEAKER_08 21:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 21:36

One time I was on the way to uh Frank's. I was coming down the side street and there was a dude in the middle of the street just wanking it. And I almost hit him with my truck. I wanted to so fucking bad. Would I got in trouble? Um if the cops came and his dick was out and I hit him.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

Probably would have just told you to call them instead of running him over.

SPEAKER_09 21:58

No, it would have been an accident. I could have opened the door and hit him with that shit. Boom. That should have been funny. Had a big old dick dick print inside of your fucking truck. Well, hey, I don't know if it was a big dick. I didn't look. But it was I'll be honest, it was very uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_10 22:14

And uh it made me understand how women feel sometimes when they're like, yeah, some dude did some weird ass shit. I'm like, same. Same. Let's start a support group.

SPEAKER_09 22:27

I love that for you.

SPEAKER_10 22:28

Yeah, I was upset, dude.

SPEAKER_09 22:30

I'm happy you got through it. Yeah. I came home, took a shower immediately. Immediately. I felt disgusting. Now think about it. If you were to fight him, he probably would have had some jizz on his hands. You would have that would have been real salt. You would have had jizz on you.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

That was absolutely foul. Don't drink that ever again. What? You literally just spit it all back into the fucking ground. Yeah, it's my spit. No, it doesn't matter. You're gonna take a sip of it and it's gonna be like super warm on top.

SPEAKER_09 23:05

Yeah, it's hard like that. No, because I he we have carpet now, so I can't spit on the floor like I used to. I couldn't spit on the floor, but like Yeah, I don't condone that. It was it was more acceptable for me to fucking at least I held that shit in. That's true. It'll yeah, it'll wipe off.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Yeah, but Winston literally sprayed our entire dining room. This is like an Avenue beverage. What?

SPEAKER_10 23:32

Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. That fucking uh sparkling water, you're just like my fucking son.

SPEAKER_11 23:38

You bro, you hit like three walls, the ceiling, the whole table, the floor, you know, the cell.

SPEAKER_09 23:45

You know what? No carpet. Yeah, no carpet.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

I don't have carpet in my fucking dining room.

SPEAKER_09 23:51

Neither do I. That's why we're not in there anymore. He wanted to be on the carpet sewed. The carpet sewed? So I couldn't spit anymore. Oh, yeah. I was in here just You don't have any bathroom stories? Um, other than like shitting in Uranus, um There's a picture. Yeah, I have a picture.

SPEAKER_10 24:12

Yeah.

unknown 24:13

I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

I'm good.

SPEAKER_08 24:15

No, I shit in Uranus, um, Hannah. And it was fun. I had quite a lovely time there.

SPEAKER_09 24:21

I even got some fudge from Uranus. And I believe that. Missouri. It's a place called Uranus, Missouri. And I made sure that I took a shit there. That's it.

SPEAKER_08 24:33

Oh yeah. It was fun.

SPEAKER_09 24:36

We had to wait, we had to wait a little bit. Did you with a it was like a whole line for the bathroom? No, I just didn't have to shit that at the time. Oh, y'all fucking sat around so you could shit?

SPEAKER_08 24:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 24:46

Who were you with? My ex. Okay. I was like, hang on. I'm not leaving you until I shit in Uranus. She's like, bet. She's like, that's so sexy. I love you. I was like, yeah, bitch, crack another bud light. Then y'all fought for three hours.

SPEAKER_02 25:01

Is this a time that you went to it was one?

SPEAKER_09 25:05

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

Or was that a different state?

SPEAKER_09 25:11

No, this was in Missouri on the way back from Arkansas during a nice trip. Right. Right. Yep. He's like, don't have to keep talking about that. Do do do do. So what's been up with you, Brian? Um, I just realized last night. You're gay? No. No. You really want some dick. No, I um almost out of melatonin again. You know they sell it at the store? Yeah, but like I shouldn't be out. I feel like I just got it. I thought, hold on. Weren't you praising yourself like a few weeks ago about not taking melatonin? Yeah. Yeah. And I started taking a bigger dose. So you're back on the tone harder than ever now. That's unfortunate news. I'm sorry to hear that. And I upped the dose. It's taking half a pill now.

SPEAKER_08 26:10

It is 2026. You can make it.

SPEAKER_09 26:14

I should dump them in the toilet. You should. You should probably like dump them in the toilet. Bro. It's so hard because I like the way it makes me feel. That's a drug. It sometimes I do it, and then I'll like go downstairs and hang out with Hannah and she'll be looking at me and she'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I'm like, oh, that's owning, baby. Bro, that should be that should be fucking don't it? It fucks me up. Oh, let me drink alcohol with it. Yeah. This is a downward spiral, Hannah, and I hate seeing friends addicted to shit. Only take it at that.

SPEAKER_02 26:47

I don't really care. It goes to sleep.

SPEAKER_09 26:50

Bro, I'd be not out. He's everybody alone. You should try it. I'm good. With supervision. Obviously, because supervision. Yeah, because I'd be dying in my sleep. Yeah. Bro, I think melatonin will put me over the edge.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

I think Winston needs a doctor's note to purchase melatonin.

SPEAKER_08 27:10

I'd be like, absolutely not.

Neighborhood Trolling And Cowboy Lore

SPEAKER_09 27:12

He shows up at the counter like, you sure? You sure? Yeah, I love the toning. Um, what else has been up with me? Just working. Uh, the fucking kids are fucking nuisance. I have a teenager that wants to do everything all at once. Right. He's like, I'm a teen. What's up with the weeds? Oh yeah. Yeah, so that's been lit. Gateway. You said what? Gateway. Nah, not anymore. I mean, I don't condone him doing it. Let me go ahead and put that out there. It's a gateway. It's not a gateway. Nobody does nobody does. Devil's lettuce. Nobody smokes weed and goes, you know what I want? Some crack. It's not what you did? No. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

I wanted crack because I saw otherybody in his life smoking crack. Right.

SPEAKER_09 27:59

Okay. It wasn't a game. It wasn't because I wasn't, I didn't smoke weed and be like, you know what made me feel even better is crack. I saw a lot of people having sex on crack. That was pretty dope. Literally. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't do it long, long enough. More than most people. Okay. Cocaine was pretty cool too. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Hitler did cocaine. Yeah, you told me.

SPEAKER_06 28:27

So did Tom Segura.

SPEAKER_09 28:29

Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 28:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 28:32

Like how I killed that one? What an okay special. Huh? What an okay special. Yeah, it wasn't great. You fucking gaslighted me into saying it was great, and I hate that for me. Oh, yeah. You've been watching porn lately? Um not really. Oh, that's sad. I've been driving trains, bro. I'd rather run trains. I'll just kidding me. Nobody's running trains around here. Don't fucking touch me. Um, no. Woo, woo. I alright. So have you read the comments on porn? Um I saw one one time and it was just a recipe for like a cake. A cum cake? No, just like a chocolate cake. They're like, here's a recipe. I love the ones that are like, what's that girl's name?

SPEAKER_10 29:25

I like my dick touched.

SPEAKER_09 29:27

Those are some big titties. Somebody do that to me. I'm like, this is fucking insane. These aren't real comments. I think they're real. And also, it's probably even sadder that I'm signed up for the website. Read the comments. Oh. Yeah, I had to sign up for the read the comments. But I wanted to read them. I was like, he tore her up. See what everybody else thinks. Pop it up, and it's like, damn, her butthole was big. And you're like, right, right. They're like, does she have any other videos? Yeah, just go up there and click on it. Thought about posting our podcast on the comments. Oh fuck. That'd be great. Wouldn't that get wouldn't that generate some traffic?

SPEAKER_02 30:18

That's the traffic you want. No, no, no. Last time you generated some fucking traffic was the clown situation with the one guy. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_09 30:32

Winston didn't. First of all, Winston did not have my back. I didn't. I definitely did. You didn't. I said, let's go up there right now. He was like, dog, I don't do that no more. I was at work.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

So was I. I said, later.

SPEAKER_09 30:45

I was in North Carolina.

SPEAKER_02 30:47

Nobody defended my honor.

SPEAKER_09 30:48

Okay, all right, all right, all right. We haven't talked about this at all on the podcast, so this is great. Me and Winston are in a neighborhood group that we don't live in. Yep. Our old neighborhood, though. Yeah, we lived there. We haven't lived there in ages. I like saying ages. Um, and so there was a dude up there bitching and moaning about some kids riding the street, whatever. Me personally, I'm like, they're kids.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

But there's also like no sidewalks back there. Yeah. There's only a sidewalk on the main road.

SPEAKER_09 31:22

If I see a kid riding the street, I'm gonna hit him. And then basically I was like, that's not cool, buddy. Yeah, basically. I was like, that's not cool. And then he started talking some shit. So I went to his profile. I think I sent you the picture of the clown. You think you sent me the picture of the clown? I mean, I sent you his picture. Okay. Winston sent me the picture. We'll go with that. And I took a uh clown nose and hair and makeup and I put it on his face. And he was in a cowboys jersey, so I posted it to the thing, and I was like, How mountain cowboys? And he was hot. Oh, he was it was beyond hot. That dude was bowling. Livid. Yeah, he was upset. He said a lot of things that he shouldn't have said, and um what? No, go keep going. And um they kicked him out of the group. Okay, yeah. And then I went to the side and I was like, hey man, that wasn't cool that he kicked you out of the group. He was like, I don't give a fuck what you say to me. And I was like, Word, I'm just trying to be nice. And he was like, You ever, if you ever put a clown face on me again, which is a wild thing to say, why would I do it again? Right. I already did it once. And he's like, if you do that shit again, blah blah blah. And then he sent me a picture of Hannah, and he was like, I don't know if I can say this part. That's why I'm right here. He said, I'll buy that young. And um I said, How much? And then I defend defended Hannah's honor, and I wanted to fight him, and then he blocked me.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

Bro, he tried to get you to pull up at some bar at like noon. Right. He's like, I'm up here already.

SPEAKER_09 33:13

It was noon. I was in the north. I'm like, I'm gonna work. Do you have a job? I remember asking him that. Not today, I don't. So I thought about putting the clown thing on and uh printing it out and then putting it on his company trucks out all over his job. And Winston told me not to. Or Hannah. Both of y'all. That was watery. I wish you'd fucking stop this. Yeah. Um, um, yeah, but it was fun. It was fun. Guess what? We're still in the group, still in there. Yeah, yeah. Every now and then I stir up shit just to do it. Yeah. Like there was that one time where someone was like, hey, who's throwing their trash in my fucking backyard? And BZ will be like, it's probably Winston. Yeah. And then I'll be like, Yeah, that's me. I didn't feel like walking to the fucking trash can deal with it. Right. Who who throws stuff in other people's backyards? That's insane. And now they just think me and Winston are just in the neighborhood causing mayhem. Bro, some some some people would be like, hey, I need a plumber that can help me. And I'd be like, BZ said he'd do it for a couple hot dogs and some Cheetos. Right. Anytime there's a lost dog, I say Winston stole it. And then I had that mobile grooming service. Yeah. He'll paint your dog's nails. Yeah, yeah, with spray paint. Those were good times. We need to get back into that. Yeah, between that and uh trolling cowboy. That was fun, too. But I kind of stopped that because um I'm afraid that he may no longer be with us at some point. Yeah. So I don't want to be the guy that sends him over the edge.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

He loved Winston. He used to kiss Winston's earlobes and stuff at the bar. He used to grab them.

SPEAKER_08 35:05

He never did that shit.

SPEAKER_10 35:06

He would just give him a little kick.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

He would put his little reserve thing on the table and only Winnie Pooh could go eat dinner with him.

SPEAKER_07 35:12

My posse.

SPEAKER_09 35:14

Oh god. Winston was the king, was the leader of the posse.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

He wanted Winston to work security for his birthday party.

SPEAKER_09 35:20

Yeah, what was I gonna do? Make sure, make sure like he didn't fall. Winston was just gonna drink the entire night. Yeah. He did love. How did you meet Cowboy? I don't know. I don't. I was probably fucking hammered.

SPEAKER_02 35:35

He became single and was like, I'm gonna go up here and drink$300 worth of Jack Daniels.

SPEAKER_10 35:39

And yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

Cowboy probably said hi to him, and he was like, Hell yeah, we're fucking friends.

SPEAKER_09 35:44

I don't have any other friends. What's good when it played boy? Right.

SPEAKER_02 35:48

And then he just started going up there for his weekly dinners with Cowboy.

SPEAKER_09 35:51

Did you have dinner with him? I mean, I would eat while I was there, and he would eat at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

He would sit at his table.

SPEAKER_09 35:57

I forgot you worked there.

unknown 35:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 35:59

Hannah knows everything.

unknown 36:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

Winston would sit at his table and eat his dinner with Cowboy.

SPEAKER_09 36:05

Yeah, then you know what happened?

SPEAKER_02 36:06

They kissed. No. On the enlobed.

SPEAKER_10 36:15

That was good. That was good. You know what they didn't do?

SPEAKER_02 36:21

Just hug.

SPEAKER_10 36:25

I do have a picture of Cowboy trying to whisper in your ear.

SPEAKER_09 36:31

Bro. Well, you don't walk up behind somebody. But how did I get that picture?

Uber Driver Tales And Nightlife Oddities

SPEAKER_02 36:37

Isn't that like contact? Is that his contact photo?

SPEAKER_10 36:41

It's so good. Winton.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

What's going on, Winton?

SPEAKER_10 36:48

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

He's like out there dedicating songs to you. Yeah. This is for my one true friend.

SPEAKER_09 36:55

And you just left them hanging. High and dry. High and dry. I don't I don't drink no more. Well.

unknown 37:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 37:09

You don't drink out anymore. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 37:12

I don't go to bars anymore.

SPEAKER_09 37:14

Also, I love how we just stop calling things fake names and just say the real names of the game. Yeah, I don't give a fuck anymore. Yeah. I'm ready for this nude country bar. Nude country bar?

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Nude.

SPEAKER_09 37:25

Did you say nude? Nude. I thought you said nude.

SPEAKER_02 37:28

He probably did.

SPEAKER_09 37:29

Is there a nude country bar? Nude. That would be dope. I'd go to a nude country bar. You wouldn't? Why?

SPEAKER_02 37:38

Because not everybody's great with hygiene. Just don't look at them. No, there's gonna be a smell.

SPEAKER_09 37:45

Oh yeah. Yeah. People's peckers just be out. Vaginas seeping. They be seeping? That's they're gonna smell like a shrimp pole boy in there. Now I've heard a few people love some shrimp. I heard a few people don't.

SPEAKER_02 38:00

Especially Winston.

SPEAKER_09 38:02

Does he love or not love shrimp? He loves shrimp. Yeah. They fill them up.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

He's like, I hate it. His whole shrimp cocktail platter.

SPEAKER_09 38:12

Them shrimp were good as fuck, though. Yeah, they were really good. And they did fill me up too. See? I'm pretty sure I had vertigo that day though, so that doesn't affect you getting filled up with shrimp. Right.

SPEAKER_08 38:23

Hannah, how do you like my cowboy shrimp?

SPEAKER_09 38:26

Yeah, he has a shrimp right there.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

I saw it.

SPEAKER_09 38:29

It's cute. I like it. He needs a name.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

Winston wishes he was a cowboy shrimp.

SPEAKER_09 38:35

I am a cowboy shrimp. He has a cowboy shrimp. Cowboy. Shrimp.

SPEAKER_10 38:43

Lanton. I miss going out sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah. Not all the time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 38:53

Yeah.

unknown 38:54

Oh. Oh.

SPEAKER_09 38:55

I gotta tell you something. Tell me.

SPEAKER_10 38:58

The other day, me and Hannah went to uh so funny. We w I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 39:07

I don't know where this is going. We went we go a lot of places.

SPEAKER_09 39:10

We went to Once Upon a Child, which is like a child, like um, Plato's closet type thing. Yeah. And we're looking at shoes, and we're in a children's store, and Hannah pulls out the Adidas Predators and she keeps going, another predator. She just keeps yelling. Another predator? Real people are looking at me. I'm like, not me. Not this shoe. Jesus Christ. Oh, that's great.

SPEAKER_02 39:43

You're welcome. I was just alerting the people.

SPEAKER_09 39:48

That step was a little warm. I'm switching the water. That pit bull.

SPEAKER_07 39:56

And it ran bam bang and then

SPEAKER_09 40:00

Alright. I don't think that's how Pitbull goes.

SPEAKER_06 40:04

I have one. You have a cat.

SPEAKER_09 40:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

Mr. Worldwide.

SPEAKER_09 40:08

Yeah. That's what I was going with. My Lord and Savior. Daddy. He was killing it on New Year's Eve. Have you been shopping any? You like shopping? Yeah, I used to love going out and being uh Winston literally orders everything for fucking pickup or drop off. Yeah, he does do that now. Yeah. Thanks to heavy depression.

SPEAKER_08 40:30

Uh I don't like being around people. So I do all my shit quick and easy where I don't have to like deal with that much people and anxiety that that much. I just walk in and say, pick up for Winston. No, let me scan the thing. I'm like, here. And then they scan it.

SPEAKER_02 40:47

Maybe you should talk to a therapist.

SPEAKER_08 40:49

I don't know. They scare me.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

There's no fucking way.

SPEAKER_08 40:53

Just do it. That means I have to talk to people.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

They literally have it set up where you can just fucking text them now.

SPEAKER_09 41:00

I don't like doing that. I like texting, but I would probably say some wild shit. I don't want to text them. What if they laugh at my text? What if I'm like, what are you wearing right now? LOL.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

I laughed at your face.

SPEAKER_10 41:11

You say you laugh at his face?

SPEAKER_02 41:13

Yeah. What if they laugh at my text?

SPEAKER_10 41:16

Oh, in his face. I thought you said you laughed at his face. I said that. Oh.

SPEAKER_09 41:20

Yeah, I know. That's rude. I know. Kick her off the set. You know, like. No, stop. Don't leave. Don't leave. Over here talking about mental health and being depressed. And, you know, you just you're really doing your part to like make sure I don't want to kill myself. Hannah wants to kill herself too, so she's deflecting. You want to go together?

SPEAKER_02 41:35

No, I still go out in public.

SPEAKER_09 41:37

Okay. I do too.

SPEAKER_02 41:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 41:38

So me, my depression.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

What? Somebody lost my fucking car all the goddamn time.

SPEAKER_08 41:46

And you lost$50.

SPEAKER_09 41:48

I didn't lose$50.

SPEAKER_02 41:49

You lost my whole card. Took my card.

SPEAKER_09 41:52

That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. No, I lost.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

Go to Navy Fed tomorrow and get a new card. I gotta wait for you to get home.

SPEAKER_09 42:00

No, that's before my truck broke down. You could walk.

SPEAKER_02 42:02

No.

SPEAKER_09 42:03

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:04

You were already in my car.

SPEAKER_09 42:05

This is a Navy Federal, not too far from me. You could walk or something.

SPEAKER_02 42:08

You want me to walk out with a three-year-old in 30-degree weather.

SPEAKER_09 42:13

Leave a three-year-old home.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Four miles down the road.

SPEAKER_09 42:16

It's not four miles. Yeah. It's close. Yeah, I got you. Y'all about to look that shit up like nerds.

SPEAKER_02 42:23

No, because Winston's gonna look it up wrong.

SPEAKER_09 42:25

Yeah, no, I believe that too. Wow, really? Uh, I know how to look up addresses and directions and distances. Four. Oh, I'm not gonna say it out loud.

SPEAKER_02 42:36

Don't dare put my fucking address on anything.

SPEAKER_09 42:40

And then we're gonna go directions to while y'all are doing that. I'm gonna play a video. We're not gonna watch it. I'll watch it.

SPEAKER_04 42:50

Quest it first. Who said I love you first? Who's more protective? Who cleans more? It's a fucking one hour long. Who spends the most money? Who is most likely to start an argument?

SPEAKER_02 43:10

Well, this is Winston with his race cars. Right.

SPEAKER_10 43:14

But who's most likely to win the race? Who's gonna be the announcer?

SPEAKER_09 43:25

Where I don't I don't want to judge anybody. I don't want to judge old boy, but there's no way that I could do that. Publicly? No at all. Okay. Well, it would hurt to fuck a mannequin, right? Is that a mannequin or one of those nice, like fancy sex dolls?

SPEAKER_02 43:46

Also, is he having sexual relations with it? Yeah. Or is he having sexual relations with other things?

SPEAKER_08 43:54

You're talking about you unfuck that thing right there? No. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 44:03

What the fuck? No, I'm good. Hop off guy, but I'm good.

SPEAKER_09 44:10

Isn't it crazy how like as a guy, when we masturbate, we like fucking like basically hide. What? Like you don't want to get caught masturbating.

SPEAKER_02 44:20

In a sense, like I stand on my kitchen island.

SPEAKER_09 44:23

Bro, if I lived here by myself, I would still lock the door to masturbate. I don't want to get caught. I close the blinds. But like if a girl, I don't think they'd be giving a fuck. Like if you walk in on me, what are you gonna say? Like it'd be hot. If I walked in and it was like, I'd be like, oh yeah. Shop swee. Can I join? Right. No. If you're jerking off and a girl walks in and she's like, you're fucking disgusting. Yeah. Again? Heavy on the again. Yeah, heavy on the again. Definitely a weird standard there that I think needs to be changed. Oh. No, I like hiding. Makes me feel better. Really? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Alright. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I wouldn't fuck a mannequin. Yeah, no. Probably hurt. Mm-hmm. Plastic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 45:14

Uh Hannah, uh, 2.4 miles.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

It's a one-hour walk.

SPEAKER_08 45:20

Um.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

I looked it up.

SPEAKER_08 45:23

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 45:25

So you need to make sure you get a good rest tonight so you can start early. Get a coat. Yeah. Some good walking shoes.

SPEAKER_02 45:33

I've already been there. I already got a new car.

SPEAKER_09 45:34

Could just Uber. Yeah, you could just Uber.

SPEAKER_08 45:36

You get your phone. You got your card on your phone.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

I can't Uber with my baby. Well, just leave him at home with the oldest. The oldest was never or home.

SPEAKER_09 45:47

Hold on, hold on. Uber doesn't allow babies? It's hard.

SPEAKER_02 45:51

We have a car seat.

SPEAKER_09 45:53

Yeah. Just hold him. No. Bro, you were an Uber driver. There's no way you'd let somebody hold their fucking baby. Yeah. Uber drop him. I know. I mean, I don't Uber no more, but no, dude, I had DoorDash, get rid of them. No, dude, I had so many people get fucking mad at me when they'd like, they wouldn't have their car seat, and I would say, like, I can't drive you and your kid without a fucking car seat. And they're like, what do you mean? And I'm like, you we're in Virginia Beach and you want to go all the way to Hampton. Right. You're just going to hold this child? Absolutely not. Because even if we were to get into a small fender bender, that shit would be on me. Right. It wouldn't be on Uber. It wouldn't be on anybody else. That shit would be on me. Yep. And they can sue me. And I ain't trying to do that. No. So yeah, I'd cancel, get my little$3.

SPEAKER_06 46:37

He was hype too.

SPEAKER_09 46:38

I don't want that whole fucking baby in here. Right. So, bro, what I I used to Uber hard back in the day. Right. Not my dick, but like I used to like just Uber all the fucking time. No one was thinking that. You didn't have to specify. Okay. Well, just for clarification purposes. Um there's just one person out there who's like, he fucker was talking about his dick. Right. I mean, they were just talking about masturbating and shit. Who was? We were. I didn't. Yes, you did. I was not. Who brought it up? You did with the mannequin. The mannequin was masturbating? You're trying to gaslight me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm green lighting you.

SPEAKER_08 47:20

Whatever. Anywho, I used to I used to masturbate hard as fuck. What? I mean Uber, Uber hard as fuck.

SPEAKER_09 47:30

I used to Uber hard as fuck. Right. Again, not my penis.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

Um and I would- Winston just wants to talk about his penis. That's all this is.

SPEAKER_09 47:38

Let's do it. Um but I would I would literally get off work. Please don't. I would I would get off work at like four or five o'clock, and then I would Uber for like an hour or two, then go to school and get out of school at 11 at night, get home at midnight, wake up at six. That fucking work ethic, baby. Dude, I used to, yeah. And then on Fridays when I didn't have you can't eat up at six now. I do. I do every day. Uh except for today.

SPEAKER_08 48:11

I didn't have work.

SPEAKER_09 48:12

But um on the weekends, my entire weekends would be filled with Uber. I remember that. It was so annoying. Yeah. You want to hang out once I got an Uber, bro. Yeah. And I would slept in his car. Every now and then I'd take a nap in the car when I couldn't drive anymore because I was exhausted. But I would Uber, like I get off work Friday at like four or five o'clock, and then I'd Uber the entire night into the next day and until the sun came up.

SPEAKER_06 48:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 48:41

And I went three, three years doing that, and never had anybody throw up in my car until you got the new car? No. Oh. It was all in the Lancer. But until uh I thought you Ubered in the element also. Yeah, but this was I was that was back when I was Ubering while I was in the Navy still. Okay. Yeah, this this this part was when I was out of the Navy. Okay, okay. Um but I finally had somebody throw up in my car.

SPEAKER_08 49:12

And that set off some kind of weird um universal chain of uh chain of events.

SPEAKER_09 49:24

Like the universe just knew, like, all right, yeah, you've gone three years without having anybody throw up in your car. Now everyone's gonna throw up in your fucking car. Oh, like more people than more than one? Yeah, so like I the first time it happened, I was fucking pissed. Dude threw up. Did you fight him? No. But what you have to do is like when you when somebody throws up in your car, you're out of service. You can't just like have a throw up in your car and just keep Ubering. Right. Right. Be like, hey, watch out for that back there. Right. Because you have to stop making money.

SPEAKER_10 49:52

Right.

SPEAKER_09 49:53

And now you gotta clean your car.

SPEAKER_08 49:55

And you have to take pictures of it, send it to Uber. I don't know if things have changed now. Um, but back then you had to take pictures of it, send it to Uber, and then they wanted uh they would send you like$250,$300.

SPEAKER_09 50:09

Ooh, so that was I'd be back there like so and then they would charge that to the fucking person that threw up.

SPEAKER_08 50:19

So a little bit of time went by, somebody else did it. Fuck. All right, here we go. Did the whole process again.

SPEAKER_09 50:26

Then shortly after somebody else threw up, then by the month, the fourth time somebody threw up, Uber was like, Yeah, we're only gonna give you$100. Um, you know this? No, but sounds on par for Yeah, and like I'm like, hey, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_08 50:42

You're only gonna give me$100. This put me out of service. I had to get my fucking car cleaned. You're only gonna give me$100, and now I'm missing out on earning opportunities.

SPEAKER_09 50:51

And they're like, Well, if this continues to happen, we're gonna have to deactivate you. And I was like, What do you think? Your car stunk? No, they were just like, Your people are throwing up your car too much. And I was like, you don't how is this my fault? They're gaslighting you, bro. Right, exactly. Right. Uh so yeah, that fourth person was the last person to throw up in my car, but that shit was fucking terrible, dude. I hated Ubering. Yeah. We had a lot of weirdos. Yeah. Yeah. I met some guys. Especially women. I dated a chick that I fucking That can't be ethical. Well, I mean Will you go out with me? I know where you live. Nah, dude, uh, so uh I picked her up at the ocean front with her and her friends, and she sat in the front seat with me and she was drunk as shit, and she got and went to the 7-Eleven, got some taquitos, and I thought that was really sexy. And um they invited me when we got to their place, they invited me in or some shit like that. Or let me go off duty real quick. Yeah. Or I forget how it went. Either we exchanged numbers, she said she wanted to hang out with me more or some shit. I don't know. I used to be a really fun Uber driver.

SPEAKER_10 52:07

Like, I when I tell me something some stuff you would do.

SPEAKER_08 52:09

Well, I would have the Honda element, I had the system in the back, and I had the LEDs everywhere. Like, we'd be having a good time.

SPEAKER_09 52:16

Right. Uh, this one time, these uh Finish about the girl you dated.

SPEAKER_08 52:22

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reality TV, History Rants, And Pyramids

SPEAKER_09 52:23

Um fucking Christ. Wins to be all over the place, man. Let him go. Let him go. He won't even finish the fucking story. It's like this other time. So uh yeah, we dated for a few months and uh it was really cool. Uh took her on the Harley back when I just wanted you to drive her places all the time.

SPEAKER_07 52:42

Can you go get me?

SPEAKER_09 52:44

Uh no, she's actually really successful. Like she's a she's a nurse. Oh yeah. Yeah. Um, but yeah, no, I think we're still friends on Facebook or whatnot. Hell yeah, she'll see this. Probably not. Send it to her. Right. Remember when we dated? I look I look different now, don't I? Right.

SPEAKER_08 53:04

200 more pounds.

SPEAKER_09 53:06

Don't do your stuff like that. There was this other time where uh I picked up a group of people. It was like a couple dudes and a few girls. Right. And too many people to be in a car. There was definitely too many to be in the Honda element, but I was like, fuck it. They're like, Do you mind if we put your cooler in the back? Our cooler in the back? You got a cooler, bruh? I mean, no, no, no. They they got their cooler.

unknown 53:30

Yeah, cooler.

SPEAKER_09 53:32

And uh I used to keep candy in my Uber. Hell yeah. Um, but they're like, Do you mind if we put our cooler in the back of your and I was like, yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_08 53:40

And I was like, so yeah, making conversations, like, what are you guys about to get into? And they're like, I got the keys to the community uh pool, and we're about to jump the fence and go swimming and getting fucked up. I was like, hell yeah, that sounds like a good time. They're like, You want to come?

SPEAKER_09 53:54

And I was like, Hell yeah. Damn, dog.

SPEAKER_08 53:59

Um, so yeah, I just stripped down of my boxes and jumped in the pool and just like kind of waited around these strangers while I drank their beer.

SPEAKER_02 54:09

And then Ubered them. Did you Uber them afterwards? No, I was passing them silently.

SPEAKER_09 54:14

Right. No, I left. Oh yeah? I was like, all right guys, I'm gonna get back on the road, take a couple beers, put put my fucking clothes over my wet ass boxers. I Ubered this girl and her friends one time, and she was like, Um, oh my god, I want to give you a tip, but something was fucking happening, I don't fucking know. She was like, um, just smell my seat after I leave. And I was like, best tip ever. No, well no, I didn't smell that seat. Okay, was she fat or something?

unknown 54:52

No.

SPEAKER_09 54:52

Well, fat has nothing to do with it. Like, that's just disgusting. Plus, she had like pants on, like, what would I even smell? You fart it? I ain't gonna smell no pussy. What about you, Hannah? What's the craziest thing you've ever done in the Uber? Yeah, how smelly have you made a seat?

SPEAKER_02 55:11

Okay, well, that's not a thing. And if it is, you should see a doctor. Um, secondly, I don't Uber a lot. Uber kind of makes me feel icky, especially if I'm by myself.

SPEAKER_09 55:27

Remember when we Ubered in that Tesla?

SPEAKER_02 55:29

And I had to get all the way out to let you in the Tesla. And then our Uber driver was drunk.

SPEAKER_09 55:34

Yeah, he was hammered.

SPEAKER_02 55:35

He's probably more drunk than us.

SPEAKER_09 55:37

I couldn't get in.

SPEAKER_08 55:39

You guys aren't drinking.

SPEAKER_09 55:40

Drinking what? So you guys aren't drinking. No. We're gonna drink tomorrow. Oh, okay. Yeah, we have a journey. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:50

Journey to the center of the earth.

unknown 55:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:53

We're gonna run into who was in that movie? The Rock. Yeah, yeah. Somebody go see Dwayne. Dwayne Johnson run through the jungles of South America.

SPEAKER_09 56:06

Dumanji. That's Jumanji. Um, bro, remember that one time we took that Uber uh to the bank?

SPEAKER_08 56:16

I think we were going to the bank. Oh, with Mel? I can't remember if Mel was with us this time, but the dude got a phone call and it came up like Big Daddy on the screen. They went into the phone. You remember that? Uh-uh. Bro, me and you were in the back dying. Bro, we were like, hey, I think you're getting a phone call.

SPEAKER_09 56:40

And it was like Big Daddy on the screen. We Ubered a lot of places where it's like, uh, remember we got in that uh broke down ass car, and it's like, he's going like 80 and his car's screaming at us. Yeah, and then the dude that took the wrong exit and sent us all the way down to Virginia Beach. Yeah, were you with us with that? No. Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 57:01

I didn't do a lot of Ubers with you guys.

SPEAKER_09 57:03

And then our boy, he would fucking he would order the Uber and then order his own Uber from the Uber and add it to our Uber. It was fucking weird. Who was that? Huh? Who was that? Mel. Oh yeah. Yeah. You don't want to hang out no more? He's like, he's like, bro, you made me drink an entire thing. He remember I kept making a mixed drinks. And he's like, bro, stop making me mixed drinks. I just want to do shots. Like, bro, I made this for you. It's a green tea. He's like, no, don't do it anymore. What were you gonna say?

SPEAKER_02 57:35

You guys got really fucked up on my birthday.

SPEAKER_09 57:39

Oh it was also Mel's birthday.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

Yeah, but y'all got I think I got drunk.

SPEAKER_08 57:44

Oh, this is when we went to Eagle's Nest?

SPEAKER_09 57:45

Yeah. Yeah. And then we all Ubered back to my house. Yeah. Because all of us from Wawa. I live there too.

SPEAKER_02 57:52

We all like went outside.

SPEAKER_09 57:53

Oh, this is when we lived out. What Hannah?

SPEAKER_02 57:59

I don't know. Y'all decided to talk over.

SPEAKER_09 58:01

We went outside. Yeah, we went outside.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

I'll just see myself out.

SPEAKER_09 58:05

And no, no, Hannah, this is bullshit.

SPEAKER_08 58:07

This happens to me every time.

SPEAKER_09 58:08

I do it once and every time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:10

Yeah, but like I live with him, so I already deal with this at all. Or I'll be talking and he'll go.

SPEAKER_10 58:16

All right, listen. This is what we're not gonna do. We're not fucking ging up on brain.

SPEAKER_02 58:22

No, I was saying all the girls like went outside and you stayed inside. Just you popped outside a couple times to go, got you a shot. And I knew by the time you were bringing me one, you had taken at least three yourself.

SPEAKER_06 58:35

Easily.

SPEAKER_02 58:36

And then you would bring me one, and then you'd go back inside and take more shots. And then, you know, 12 rounds later, you're bringing me another one. And I'm like, dude, I've I spent the whole night. I think I had like two shots and like three beers.

SPEAKER_09 58:48

You were drunk as well.

SPEAKER_02 58:49

Not as drunk as you. Yeah, nobody. Or any of the guys that stayed inside. You guys were twisted.

unknown 58:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:56

Sham or probably threw up the next day. No. Mm-mm. He threw up a couple of the times. Yeah. I'd be throwing up.

SPEAKER_09 59:05

Shro up. I'd be wanting to, but I don't. Hey, have you ever gotten to any um like fucking um um trashy reality TV? Like raccoons and shit.

SPEAKER_02 59:25

Anyway, um, this guy, I made him basically made him start watching 90 Day Fiance.

SPEAKER_08 59:32

Oh fuck, I'll kill myself. Oh my I'll I'll k myself right here, right now.

SPEAKER_02 59:37

It's so on this set. It's so good.

SPEAKER_08 59:39

No, it is money so good.

SPEAKER_02 59:41

Farmer wants a wife. You gotta start watching that one with me. That one's really good. Um Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. You got hooked on that for a little bit.

unknown 59:50

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 59:50

And then I like PTSD flashbacks. You don't like you don't like um Money Day fiance?

SPEAKER_08 59:57

My ex was obsessed with. With that show, everybody in it followed all their Instagrams, talked to me midweek about the shit, and then on Sundays, I had to spend four like it. I had to spend four hours watching all the spin-offs that they had 90-day fiance, uh, 90-day fiance reversed, or whatever the fuck it was.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:16

They have spin-offs? There's so many spin-offs. I'm so excited. Yeah. Enjoy your fucking self. I will. Yeah. Absolutely not. I will. No. I can't go back. I can't. I think it'd be fine. No. You didn't like it in the movie. I hated it so I hated it sober. So you don't like any reality TV? Um Big Brother, The Amazing Race. I mean, I'll be on the Love Island. I know you like The Apprentice. Are you fine? Um it's pretty good. Um that was your best impression ever.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:48

Carrie! Do you know who that is? Do you know who that impression is? Do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:53

Carrie!

SPEAKER_10 1:00:54

Do another one. Do another one of him.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:57

Carrie.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:00

Do you know who it is? It's Doug from uh King of Queens.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:05

I never watched that.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:07

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:09

I don't know. I've told you this. I don't really like sitcoms. Any of the stuff that surrounds like that.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:15

Sitcoms period on TV. You don't like any TV from them?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:19

No, no, no. But like you 2000s? No, because like you'll always try to reference stuff.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:24

Like I from when you were a child.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:27

Or you'll try to put on like American Dad or something like that too. And like I know nothing. Like this was these are all things that I was like, no, thank you.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:34

But if you watch it, you'll know.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:36

I don't want to watch it.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:37

I don't want to watch 90 day fiance. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:40

Do you watch any reality TV?

SPEAKER_09 1:01:43

Um Carrie. It's so bad. It's so good. Carrie! It's not uh yeah.

unknown 1:01:53

It's not good.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:54

Um no, not really. Um not anymore.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:59

I've elevated my life to get away from reality TV, and I typically watch like war documentaries and just watch things with historical facts. Right. You could do both.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:12

Bro, you literally had zero historical facts at the beginning of this. So what the fuck are you watching historical?

SPEAKER_08 1:02:20

Excuse me, what are you talking about? Oh, you he didn't have any?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

No, you.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:25

Oh, no, I definitely didn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:26

George Washington? Yeah, Abe Lincoln.

unknown 1:02:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:30

Henry Ford.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:31

Right. No, it wasn't even Henry Ford. He said fucking Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford, whoever. From fucking shrinking. Um, no, but um I watched things about old wooden ships. I believe that. Yeah. Did you ever watch the pirate one I told you about? No, I didn't get into that one. It's really good.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:52

Uh I was watching this one about um the HMS. I forget the name of the ship, but it was the biggest in the fleet, and it was like it was built like 400 years ago, and they actually 400 years ago, dude, they had pumps to bring water on the ship so they could fight fires, and then if they started flooding, they had pumps to pump the water out on a wooden ship.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:17

Can you fucking believe that shit? No, no, yeah, I couldn't either. And then you could believe it. When was the pump made?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:27

Have you not seen like any of like like look back at any ancient civilization? A lot of them were killing it. Like that's true. A lot of them were doing really well on the things that they built. What do you guys think about they made some prototypes and they said, you know what, we got this shit and built it up from there.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:45

What do you guys think about Egypt and like the pyramids and all that good stuff? Like, uh I don't know. Is that racist? I think so.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:54

Um, what are you asking, Winston?

SPEAKER_09 1:03:58

Damn. When you say it like fucking that, god damn. What are you asking, Winston? Okay, well, um How do you feel about Egypt?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:06

I don't know, it's a country. What the fuck? What's the real question here?

SPEAKER_09 1:04:11

All right, so do you remember about like a year, year and a half ago, they came out with this thing that said like the sonars, they had sonars and great technology, some of the best technology in the world penetrated the ground beneath the pyramids, and that there were all these columns that went like a half a mile into the earth.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:30

Right. And that there's a lot more to explore.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:33

How do you feel about that?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:36

I don't. I feel like, again, people did a lot of shit. Well, there's a lot of what else were they to do with the time that they had on the other hand?

SPEAKER_09 1:04:48

Um Mayans Romans and the Mayans. Yeah. Um top tier. Yeah. Um I like a good Russian too. Um, I like a mosque. China. China. They've been around for a long time. Killing it. Yeah. Mostly women. Building walls and shit. Now walls are bad, apparently. Big ass wall. Um what they have a wall for. A great one, if you will. To keep the Mongolians out. Are they still around? Yeah. Mongolia is still a country. I don't need no one. It's on the north side of China. All right. I thought it was Russia on the north side.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:30

China. We love China.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:32

Don't do it. China's a great place, full of wonderful people. He must have been watching him a lot. Love a good China.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:41

Lots of great products come from China.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:44

He doesn't say that.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:45

I know. He says the opposite.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:48

Um, but uh, yeah, no, I've I've wondered like how were the pyramids built back then? Some say aliens. Exactly. That's what exactly. No. No, no, no. Yeah. Extraterrestrials. No, no. They shipped over Mexicans and they built the pyramid. Saying Mexican isn't racist. But putting together the sentence that you are. No, but that's not racist. They're really good at building things. Were the Egyptian Jews? No. They were um polyamp. Polynesian. Nope. Like the sauce. What do you call that shit? Are you looking up about Mexicans building the pyramids? No.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:39

I'm just looking up the pyramids in general.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:41

Yeah. She doesn't know what they look like. Worship. The sun. Polytheism. Okay. Um so like they worshiped Anubis. I remember who built No, remember who built the pyramids? That's why I got it messed up. Jews. They enslaved Jews to build the pyramids.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:05

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:06

Remember?

SPEAKER_08 1:07:07

Yeah. But how did they?

SPEAKER_09 1:07:09

Some of them could have been Mexican Jews.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:12

What?

SPEAKER_09 1:07:12

They could. They could. I don't think so. They could. I think they Hey Siri! I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:30

Siri, stop.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:32

Yeah, for babe. Banana. For some reason, me and his Siri link up.

SPEAKER_08 1:07:37

Hey Siri!

SPEAKER_09 1:07:41

That's insane. Mine didn't go off. Our series, um, uh, they know weight instead of voices. So if they if a big dude talks to it, it's like, what's good with it, old boy? Long time no chat. You must be part of the crew. The other day, actually, I think it was like yesterday. Maybe the day before yesterday, uh, Xavier comes in the room, in the living room, and he's like, You need to get your son. And I was like, You mean his brother? Yeah. And I was like, Well, what is he doing? He drew on my desk. Okay. Banana, what did he say? He was drawing on the desk. What was the three-year-old drawing on the desk?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:22

He said he drew a smiley face and a penis. And I was like, I only believe the smiley face because he just recently learned how to make smiley faces. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:34

Right.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:34

Yeah. How would he even know what a penis looked like?

Artifacts, Vikings, And Collecting

SPEAKER_09 1:08:39

You know what I mean? Right. Unless his brother taught him how to draw penises. Right.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:45

Speaking of, um well. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:49

Speaking of, uh, you never told me how uh X liked his Christmas gifts. What did he get? He got the desk. Yeah, the desk. All the new computer stuff. Yeah, he loved the desk, loves the monitor. Um, we moved his room around, set his bed up a little bit better. Right. Uh bought him the sheet bed set. Um my mom sent him one of those big ass mouse pads that charge the phone. Uh his mom bought him a dartboard. I bought him some uh expensive ass cologne. What else are we getting, babe? She's on her phone at this point. She's like, fuck this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:29

I'm reading about the pyramids.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:30

See, this is good informational stuff that like I like to do. I like to look up facts about all sorts of stuff. So, yeah, he really liked his Christmas, to be honest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:41

Okay, cool. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:42

Yeah. I just wanted to finish what we were talking about before you went on to something else. No, no, I wouldn't do that.

unknown 1:09:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:48

So, what's your favorite fact about ancient Egypt? Oh, top five. No, I'm just kidding. Anubis.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:55

I wasn't looking up facts about it. I was actually looking up if Mexicans built it. No, because um a lot of people are citing that it is a very common misconception that slaves built the pyramids because of people like Hollywood. Um, movies that came out, but it was actually like farmers and stuff. I'm a farmer that built them.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:22

It was me.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:23

So I've actually looked into purchasing a pyramid. I have actually looked into purchasing ancient Egyptian artifacts, and some of them are actually quite affordable. And I thought about starting a small collection.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:40

And uh what's your obsession with Egypt?

SPEAKER_09 1:10:43

I just have always enjoyed, I will tell you this, beautiful people. Yeah, for sure. Have you ever seen an Egyptian girl? God. Yeah. Have you ever seen a pharaoh? Have you ever seen an African girl? Like African. Jesus. But um ass don't quit. Beautiful. Queens.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:06

Okay. You're Ethiopian? Um West African.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:13

A baddie. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:17

And European. And Spain Spanish. I thought you told me I was being that right, huh? A little Arab. Tiny bit of Filipino.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:31

So you can make spaghetti and chicken.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:34

Make it all.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:36

Yeah, so I've really been looking into buying some of these ancient Egyptian artifacts, and like you can actually like buy some mummy cloth that have been on a real mummy.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:47

You can buy uh so they used to bury um You just want the dressings of a dead peop person.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:54

It's an ancient Egyptian mummy that's you want the dressings of a dead person. So there's also other things we can buy. We walk in the house, he's he's fucking wrapped up in the fucking mummy.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:05

What the fuck are you doing, Winston?

SPEAKER_10 1:12:07

I'm a mummy.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:09

Winston's about to end up being patient zero for some weird bubonic plague is gonna come back because of it.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:16

No, well, you can buy ancient Egyptian jewelry.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:19

That's gonna be cursed. That's fucking wicked. Yeah. For sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:25

Um, they they also used to bury them, uh, I forget what they were called, but they were like these little time capsules. They used to bury them, and I forget what they were called, but they were these little tiny blue, and uh they were blue stone or something like that, but they looked just like um the mommy car uh sarcophagus, and they would bury that with them, and you know, they they find them on the regular and they sell them in.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:53

How much? Uh you can get one for like a few hundred dollars.

SPEAKER_09 1:12:57

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:58

It's about to use Klarna.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:01

Well yeah, I would. Hell yeah. I use Klarna for everything, but I I really want to like get into like you can put a glass case over there in the hallway and have some artifacts there. That'd be cool. Yeah, dude. I might open a museum. You well, no, no, he's charging entry at Ocean View.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:18

NASCAR on one side and ancient Egypt on the other, but it's only two walls.

SPEAKER_10 1:13:23

He does have the fucking uh the uh uh subracing port, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:30

That's what you need. You need you a nerdy ass girlfriend. Yeah, I need something. Get you a nerd that like two plus two is four, you know. I don't need a two plus two is four. I need like, hey, let's go get mummy shit together. Right.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:45

Or let's go, let's go find some old arrowheads. Old Roman Rome. Oh, you know what I've always wanted to get? Um there is I could never guess.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:57

I could never guess.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:59

No, there's this old Viking um blade maker from way back in the day. And his looking at me. No, like his blades were like I can't look at Woodston right now. His blades were top tier, and I forget his name, but I can see it in my head, but because on every blade he writes his name on the blade, and his blades are still being found today in like amazing condition. So I want a Viking sword that was made by him.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:32

Okay. That'll be a little pricey. Um let me see. Famous. Oh famous.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:39

But what if they're not even like 100% finding his stuff? It's like a copycat, and someone's just like, ha ha, these dummies. Gotcha. Gotcha bitch forever.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:50

Okay, I don't know how to pronounce this. It's U L F B E R H T. Ulfert. That was really good. Um, and let's see. Copy.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:07

What?

SPEAKER_09 1:15:09

Don't do that during the podcast. Why would you do that during the podcast? You fucking dummy. Stop. I feel like I can hear somebody's heart beating. That's what it was. She was doing that dumb shit. It's gonna be all over the fucking podcast. Somebody's gonna think they're having a fucking heart attack. Am I that high? Well, yes, Ulfert swords are available for sale. Primaria's high-quality replicas.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:39

For sale. Oh, that's funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:41

Yeah, I got this real one that they dug up. And then on the back, it's like replica.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:46

I love a good replica. But he had like mastered working with like Damascus and shit like that, and came up with like some very beautiful swords. And uh what's your favorite time period? I love them all, dude. I love them all, except for like some of them.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:06

Good job.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:07

Um, but uh, dude, I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:10

I think it's all fascinating. The Viking period was also really fascinating. How they crossed the oceans in those Viking ships blows my fucking mind every fucking day.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:18

It was pretty cool what they did when they got there, too. I don't know about all that stuff.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:23

But like, you know, that time period, ancient Egypt, um cowboys, the dynasty and fucking uh the Chinese dynasty and all that good stuff, and how you know Seng Lao, you know, they invented a gunpowder. Yeah. Um and that that changed the fucking world. And then you'd have, you know, 1700s, and what blew my mind about the 1700s was like how communication happened and like how you could like even back before electronics, uh, you could fucking communicate and move entire armies and battlefronts and shit like that, just by like writing a letter and being like, all right, send it off.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:10

And then, you know, three months later they're like, Oh, yeah, we should definitely make a drastic change. Right. Yeah, there was like um some wars that would be fighting and it's over and they're still fucking fighting because they don't know yet. Yeah, that's insane. There was that one dude uh from World War II, like in most recent times, that thought the world war was still going on. They found him in like the 70s.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:34

He was isolated on an island, a Japanese guy.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:37

I'm being serious. That'd be horrible. He thought the war was still going on, yeah. And you tried to fight people and they're like, no, it's been over for like 30 years. Right. You're good, dude. And like he had a whole family back home and everything. That's insane. He was just trying to hide from them. He was like, them fucking kids, dude. I wonder if he was still getting paid for all that. No, they thought he was probably dead. I don't know. Want to see another video? Okay. Video.

unknown 1:18:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:06

Hey guys, look! A new Amazon package arrived. Wait, who are you guys? We're Andy's mom's toys. Woody, Rexy, Juicy, Mr. Pleasurehead, and Buzz Five Gear. Oh, you're just like me. To the clitoris and beyond. Oh, maybe not. Hey guys, look, a new Amazon package arrived. Wait.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:27

How'd y'all feel about that video?

SPEAKER_05 1:18:29

Heavy on the maybe not.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:34

I'm gonna be honest, I don't like when they do stuff with cartoons.

SPEAKER_10 1:18:38

It's funny. It's in good humor.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:40

I you know, I get it.

SPEAKER_10 1:18:42

To the clitoris to the To the clitoris and beyond.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:47

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_10 1:18:51

You can say clitoris.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:54

It's not real, but you can say it.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:56

What do you what?

SPEAKER_09 1:18:58

I'm just joking. I'm just joking. It's a kid. It's a JK. Not a kid. It's a JK. So just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:11

I don't think this clip got the reaction you were expecting. Yeah, I don't. I thought y'all would think it's funny. It was alright. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:21

Winston's never gonna say if he doesn't like something or not. So everything's always gonna be alright. Everything is awesome.

Cat Translators, Pets, And Dark Humor

SPEAKER_08 1:19:28

Everything is cool. Lego movie. Fantastic movie.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:34

Imagine the cells. We know what it is. We have kids. Winston just saw it the other day. No.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:43

Um turn on his TV.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:45

Like most recent, right? It was like a very like captivating movie. Like the story was amazing. And you know, the evil big bad boss and everything.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:54

Right. Just find out it was his dad in real life.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:57

Right.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:00

Happy ending. Have you guys seen the Lugan movie too?

SPEAKER_09 1:20:04

You guys are missing out. Maybe.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:08

Everything's still awesome.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:10

Have you ever been in a bathroom?

SPEAKER_08 1:20:12

I had a guy drop blood next to me. No. No.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:15

No, that was just me, I guess. No, and they have a really tall toilet.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:21

I went into a bathroom one time and the whole toilet seat was on the floor.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:25

Was it an eagle's nest?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:26

No.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:27

Oh, because that happens a lot.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:28

You know what also happens at Eagles? The doors don't lock.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:31

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:32

The doors do not. I had to hold the door for a girl one night and she was wearing like a one piece. And so she just yanked everything out. She's like, this holding the door for me. And I was like, free show. You're welcome, I suppose.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:43

Just did you look?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:45

Nipples looking right at me. Well, I didn't know she was in like a whole one piece. You know, I couldn't like there was a lot of, it had a lot of rust. That never happens in guys' bathrooms. No, just shit with the biggest. Can you hold my drink? Can you do this? Can you do that?

SPEAKER_09 1:21:04

Guy's bathroom is never that nice. We're usually fighting in there. You also like to like write on the walls and shit. Well, so do we. And when I go to the port, here's my thing. At the port, these grown ass men are walking around with sharpies to write stuff on the fucking walls. Why? They do that shit on purpose. No, every port-a potty has the same fucking message. It's like Trump's the Antichrist. No, he's not. You're an idiot. No, you are. And then over here it's like, fuck me and my pussy. Then over here it's like, white guy likes black cock. And every port-a potty. And then like in the corner, it'll be like Jesus saves. Is it the same port-a potty? They're just moving it around for you?

SPEAKER_10 1:22:00

No, I don't think so, dog.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:01

I don't think so. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:03

Girls' bathrooms are like.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:05

Call for a good shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:06

Tommy's a piece of shit. 1010, don't recommend. And everybody knows who Tommy is.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:14

Nobody's ever seen her, though.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:15

Love you always. XOXO.

SPEAKER_08 1:22:20

So nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:21

Yeah, we always read gay shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:22

Don't do drugs. Don't put your drugs on the back of the table. Because it's dirty.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:27

I'll be putting Winston's phone number on the core body. Brian likes to suck dick. Call him. Yeah.

unknown 1:22:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:33

Another girl's bathroom. It's normally nice messages. Sometimes, you know, talking shit about guys.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:38

Has my name ever been on the bathroom?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:40

I don't fucking know. Do you think I check every bathroom stall for your name?

SPEAKER_09 1:22:43

What about my name, Hannah? Why would I look for your name? It's like a headhunter. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:48

I did find.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:50

Oh, on Facebook. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are we dating the same guy?

SPEAKER_02 1:22:53

I told you about this the other day. Because I was looking for stamps. Talking about shut the fuck up. I was looking for stamps the other day. Are you like collecting stamps? Shut the fuck up. And I found, so at the baby shower, we had this corny ass little like advice for mom to be. Okay, one of them, I'm not gonna say who wrote this one. It wasn't you, but it goes always, no, it's okay to make mistakes and the baby will get hurt. I was like, I don't think I read this right after. Like, I think this is my first time reading. And I was like, oh my God. Like I'm out here rocking my kid in the face. Oopsies.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:33

Was it my ex that wrote that?

SPEAKER_02 1:23:35

No. Um, you wrote me one that says, always drink, never do drugs, and don't forget to drink with love, Headhunter.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:44

I don't remember doing this because you were drunk. Right, you were drinking. Also, so was I.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:52

We know.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:52

This is the baby shower. Everybody knows baby shower. Dude, I don't remember writing that at all. You're probably drinking with me, dog. I was. Oh, it feels good to lean back. I lean back.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:03

I lean back. Lean back. Oh.

SPEAKER_10 1:24:07

Guess who me and Hannah decided to be the officiant of our wedding.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:16

Um Ya mom. Ya mom! Bobby mom. Uh, okay. Um let me let me think. Let me think. Let me think.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:24

I'm gonna guess. I'm gonna guess. Right? Meow. Um Rihanna.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:33

She'd be the bride. Okay. Um I'm gonna go with Stone Cold. These are all horrible guesses. It's people, it's somebody we know. Brent? Yeah, OG. Really?

SPEAKER_07 1:24:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:51

Yeah. I hit him up. Because I had a thought and I was like, it'd be really cool. He he's like a type of person that would do something like that. Right. And probably do it pretty good. Right. So, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be fire. So not only 2026 are we gonna have him on the podcast get drunk with his brother when he turns 21, now he's gonna be officiating the wedding. It's a reunion, baby. Hell yeah. It's a reunion. When are we gonna have Hunter on together? Like Me, you and Hunter. That's what would be h- I don't think we could fit me, you, Hunter, Hunter, and we'd have to do something with these mics. We'd all have to get desk desktops. Yep. That'd be horrible. No.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:33

Your mom texted me.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:35

What'd she say? Baby bam. Oh, she got a present.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:38

She got a card.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:39

Oh yeah, that's not the mail. She didn't message me.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:44

Well, you didn't send the cards.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:47

I was part of it. So you don't collect stamps?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:52

No.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:53

Did you have to use stamps to send the card?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:56

Yeah, that's how mail works.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:57

So you got stamps? What do you collect stamps too? Went and purchased. He's like stamps, African artifacts, Egyptian artifacts, mascard, Legos.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:08

We're gonna find him on like an episode of like eclectic hoarders in like 10 years. I have a museum. He's just got floor-to-ceiling fucking shelves of the most random shit in one room.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:22

Um one thing I would love to have is a life-size version. Doll. A life I one thing I would love to have is a life-size um replica of the Green Goblin from the 2001 Spider-Man.

SPEAKER_10 1:26:44

Why? So I can fuck it.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:51

Like, do you want do you want him just standing?

SPEAKER_08 1:26:55

No, I just no, I don't want the game.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:58

I don't want the person. I just I just want the suit. Oh, you want to wear the suit? No, I don't want to wear the suit. I just want the suit. Why?

SPEAKER_02 1:27:05

But you literally just said I want a life-size replica of the Green Goblin. You didn't say you wanted his suit.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:09

I said suit. Let me let me let me let me let me ask a question. And this is what happens with my brain, my brain. So I ask questions like um I thought about putting like um like stickers on my Xbox. You know, like changing the color of it, basically, putting a skin on it. Okay. Why? Nobody's gonna see it. Who gives a fuck what color my fucking controller is? Nobody's gonna fucking see it. Just me. Why do we do things for no fucking reason? Like if you get a great green goblin suit, who the fuck's gonna see it? Me.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:51

You every time you come over to his fucking place?

SPEAKER_10 1:27:54

I'm gonna put it on. You'll be so upset when I'm putting that bitch on. Like, I can't get out, Winston. Take me to the hospital. Then I'm fucking gobbling at the hospital.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:04

No, I'm saying, like, you can use all these artifacts and shit, like having to walk into the emergency room with him. Winston's drunk. We do dying in the waiting room. They're like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:18

As humans, we do a lot of shit that we is nonsense.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:23

But a lot of people just want to be happy. So they do things that make them happy.

SPEAKER_10 1:28:30

Okay, that's fair.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:31

Winston's is spending money.

SPEAKER_10 1:28:33

Yeah. So he don't want to go shopping. I love shopping.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:38

That's why he uses his phone a lot. That's why he quite literally waited in line for 12 hours to get the newest iPhone so he could shop on the phone.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:48

He didn't wait online. He waited in his car.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:50

And he was gonna cuss him out if he got one sports day.

SPEAKER_08 1:28:56

One of those iPhones is filming our podcast. So congrats.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:01

You probably could have waited like an extra three days and just not had to go through two different stores and everything.

Trash Day Fails, Smoker Wins

SPEAKER_09 1:29:09

Well, I'm glad it went to the first store because I realized what butt munchers they were. And I switched over. That was ATC. No, it wasn't. That was T-Mobile. No, it was Verizon. You don't talk about Verizon like that. I like Verizon for the most part.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:25

Their customer service is always good.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:27

The service itself, she's a little rocky some days, but the customer service is pretty lit.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:32

Well, you know, T-Mobile's also pretty lit, and I'm enjoying my time with them. I hate T-Mobile service. My service has been fine. No, especially when connected to Wi-Fi.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:43

I bet your service is great connecting to Wi-Fi. So is mine.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:49

We've already had a T-Mobile drop, remember? He was like, well, that's the first of many. I think you're driving through a dead zone. No, I don't drive through dead zones because I have a Rasin. Oh, you didn't. Unless I'm at home. I've also realized that I'm not going to read comments anymore. No, why not? Because it pisses me off. Are you telling me that our fans are out here pissing you off? Sometimes. Sometimes. Didn't they say something to piss you off?

SPEAKER_10 1:30:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:22

I appreciate the feedback, but I'm not going to read that shit no more. Just like and move the fuck on. Yeah. Oh man. I. All right. Good old Bert. Russ. Just like Bert. Bert doesn't read his comments. Right. I have to go to the bathroom.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:40

Yeah, we can take a little taking a little breaky poop.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:16

We're back.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:18

That's right, Hannah.

SPEAKER_09 1:31:19

We're back all pissed up and ready to go. All of us took turns in the bathroom. I hated that. I hated that you had to announce that. We all had our moment in the bathroom. At least we didn't all go together. Did anybody jerk off in the bathroom? Hannah?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:34

Please don't speak to me.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:37

All right.

SPEAKER_09 1:31:37

Beasy, did you jerk off?

SPEAKER_02 1:31:39

No.

SPEAKER_09 1:31:39

Alright. I didn't either. So good job, everybody. Actually, don't jerk off. Really? I do. You jerk on. Jerk on. Yeah. Alright. We always do this. Um what after the break? Yeah. Yeah. Where it's hearted. Can't say that. We're artistic. Hannah. Do you have like legit, do you have any goals for a 26? I thought you were gonna say art artistics.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:12

Um to graduate.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:15

Pass your implex.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:18

Heavy on that. How is school?

SPEAKER_02 1:32:20

Heavy on the past. She's almost done, dog.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:22

She has.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:23

I graduate next month.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:24

Oh yeah. Yeah. It's been a journey, dog. Now let me ask a legitimate fucking massage question.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:30

It better be a legitimate question because if it's not, I will rage.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:33

No, it really is. So, like, you know, I got in that motorcycle accident like five years ago, broke my ankle, and I've had issues with it ever since.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:40

We know.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:41

Right. We know.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:42

So every few months it flares the fuck up and it's hard to walk. And it feels like a muscle is fucking twisted or some shit. Like that's what it feels like. Um, is there any type of special ankle massages?

SPEAKER_02 1:32:58

Well, there's different mobility. Yeah, stretching and just general massage.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:05

I mean, no one's stuck because she tells me. I just want someone to get their like their knuckles and just well rubbing that shit.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:10

Because if like whenever I like whenever my ankle is flaring up and I go down there and I squeeze it like and I, you know, rub it a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:16

Did you only mess up the inside or did you mess up the outside of it too?

SPEAKER_08 1:33:20

The outside of my ankle?

SPEAKER_02 1:33:21

Yeah, like do you have any scar tissue?

SPEAKER_09 1:33:22

Uh no, it was just like a hairline fracture, and that's what blows my mind how a little hairline fracture is causing me this much problem.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:29

Well, no, because your body holds on to trauma.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:31

Oh, yeah, it needs a needs and therapy, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:34

Well, massage therapy will also help with that because it'll release that deep trauma that your muscles are holding. Your muscles remember.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:41

Oh, wow. I I really didn't know this.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:44

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:45

Yeah, that's why you have to change up your exercises.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:47

Oh.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:48

Because your muscle it's called muscle memory.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:54

Oh shit. Oh, wait, hold on.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:03

No, uh. What? That's great. Um for a fee, Hannah will massage your ankle. I'll wash my feet.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:13

I would fucking hope so.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:15

He comes in with the stinky as fucking you like. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:18

Now, you would be surprised because um with my school being as close as it is to the beach, the people that come in to get massaged sometimes have just come off the beach.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:31

Homeless.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:32

No, they have homes.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:33

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:34

Yeah, most of them have pretty good jobs too. Um, but they've just come off the beach immediately into their massage.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:43

They've been marinating.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:44

And it's like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:47

Yeah. I'll have I'll have Hannah fucking massage my ankle and be like, I wish I had some cash to give you as a tip, but you can smell where my foot was on the seat.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:58

I will literally blacklist you from everywhere. I will get in.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:03

You might want to just do that beforehand.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:04

I'll get in one of the forums and be like, hey, if this guy rolls through.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:09

You thought, uh, are we saying are we dating the same guy was bad. We didn't say have we massaged the same guy?

SPEAKER_02 1:35:15

There are there are groups because the community's not as big as you would think it is. So watch out.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:26

Fucking weirdo for the for the thumbnail. Told you. I need some. I do a lot of editing. We appreciate it, Winston. Thanks, bud. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:40

You enjoy it.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:41

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes it gets a little overwhelming, but yeah, thanks.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:44

I sometimes I don't want to kill myself.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:45

I feel that with photo editing. Especially with volleyball about to be like back in full force. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 1:35:54

It's not in full force now. It feels like it's in full force. No, that's just practice. Jesus Christ. It's been he had one tournament and it was earlier than it was last year. So, you know, that kind of fucked up our air softing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:07

We have another tournament coming up this month. And I'll actually be at that one. Next month. Which means I'll be taking pictures. The last tournament they did, I had to literally pull my computer out and start uploading everything onto my computer, like in between, because I just did not have enough SD cards. Jesus. And then I had to proceed to go through all those pictures and edit.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:29

Yeah, so you added them all that night. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:32

Yeah, I think I put out like a thousand. So many pictures from that. It was two days. It was a disgusting amount of pictures. Because I was also taking pictures of like two other kids for their consensually. So I'd already photographed the one kid.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:50

Well, most so with these things, with the I'm pretty sure with the club, and then also the tournaments we do, you kind of sign saying that photography is allowed. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:03

Well, and there's also so many videos being taken everywhere because sometimes they actually have live videos. Sometimes they have the live video up on the courts, and then you have a lot of the teams. You'll see there's at least two parents per team that are recording. Yep.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:18

I'm a recorder.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:19

And so, you know, your kids' faces.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:22

I put little graphics up. Yeah, I've seen you posting some of those things. I'm making a fucking production. Try to, anyways.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:30

I just take pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:34

Speaking of uh production and growing and things of that nature.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:43

How would you like to start your own podcast and do it under whatever the fuck we call it?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:54

What a grand.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:56

I thought we were breaking breaking and entering productions. B and E. No, B and W. Oh B and W. Who's E? I should be making up just so breaking and white. Ethan. There it goes. Ethan. Ethan. Fuck that dude. Y'all about to get me amped up again. My bad. Who's Ethan?

SPEAKER_10 1:38:13

Fucking tall, skinny dude. Bleep it. The little bitch.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:18

Sammy Joe. Fuck that. Wow. You have a lot to say about that guy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:27

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:29

Look like a crackhead. Remember? Remember that one time. The glasses.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:34

Which one's the bleepy button?

SPEAKER_09 1:38:36

Remember that time he lost all that weight and I commented.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:38

I was like, Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:42

Fucking do that to you. Yeah. Anyways, uh, he deleted my comment.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:50

He never responded when I sent him that message.

SPEAKER_09 1:38:52

Oh, I just got an idea. What message?

SPEAKER_02 1:38:55

When I was like, hey, the way you and your little girlfriend acted was kind of insane.

SPEAKER_10 1:39:02

Yeah, they're dumb.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:03

Oh, because y'all you snuck up behind me to say hi and I looked at you like you were crazy. Slender man. You snuck up behind me in a bar.

SPEAKER_10 1:39:10

Slender man.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:11

Why didn't you give me a hug? Because you fucking snuck up on me. I just walked in.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:15

Also, we don't hug crackheads.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:17

Well, I don't hug a lot of people.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:20

I have an idea. What? No, I I legit have a great idea for a great podcast. He said shitty podcast. I thought we were doing a great podcast.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:32

Fuck just talking.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:33

I'm talking about I'm talking about for the expansion. The expansion. It's gonna be Hannah. Oh no. Jason, Aaron. Well, that's not gonna work. Baby moms. All together for one podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:50

Listen, I It's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:52

No, you don't have to say anything. It wouldn't work.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:54

It wouldn't work.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:55

But also Some of them don't like the others.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:57

That and love.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:01

Most flourishes.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:02

Um but who would show up?

SPEAKER_09 1:40:09

Hannah.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:10

And probably against my will. Well, you would just be me.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:14

So we did have uh one of your friends that you went to school with said she would do a podcast with you.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:21

That'd be dope.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:22

I did see that. Do love her. Great, great human.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:25

Is this great human single?

SPEAKER_08 1:40:27

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:28

No. Bug. Very, very married. Okay, very married. Very in love, very family.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:32

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:33

She likes bugs. Bugs are cool. Trim says bugs.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:38

Bugs are cool to me too.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:42

No one asked you, Winston. What? She's already. I like bed bugs.

SPEAKER_10 1:40:48

Imagine being in a house and somebody goes, Don't let the bed bugs bite you like that.

SPEAKER_12 1:40:52

No, they don't.

SPEAKER_09 1:40:55

Bro, I got a smoker for Christmas. Right? I'm so I love that thing so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:01

It stands in his kitchen and smokes crack all day.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:06

He just picked the fuck up.

unknown 1:41:10

That was good.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:18

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_10 1:41:23

That was good.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:25

So I gotta smoke. That was really fucking good. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:32

And he's gonna go smack the butt later.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:35

No, uh, I do have a boss and butt that is in the fridge marinating, and I'm so excited to throw it on the smoker.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:45

On the smoker?

SPEAKER_09 1:41:46

In the smoker. Sorry, Hannah.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:49

It's just sitting on top of it. This is like, damn, this is stuck. Your apartment just smells horrible.

SPEAKER_09 1:41:58

Right, it just smells like meat. Remember that one someone did? Yeah, that was that day that I threw away some came over here. Bro, no.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:09

I had the heat on and I threw some meat in the trash that night, and I woke up and I forgot to take the trash out with me. And so all day long while the heat was going, that rotten meat was just getting cooked.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:22

You know what? I that makes me think I'm really glad that one, it's been really cold, and two, that they parked your truck outside because his truck had to get fixed. But I, in the midst of me building this fucking desk that took me four hours to build, I forgot to bring the trash, like the bin down. So literally, like right before Christmas, we missed trash day. Yeah, and it's already full, recycling's full, trash is full. So we're putting everything in like contractor bags, and he's gonna take it to the dump.

SPEAKER_09 1:42:53

And on the way to the dump, this one the truck fucking.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:55

Mind you, the last bag that we loaded up in the back of his truck was because we did like foil bags at home.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:02

So needless, you got a whole bunch of seagulls around your truck right now. I'm telling you, on Monday, when I go pick my truck up, I'm going straight to the car wash.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:09

And the dump. And the dump.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:10

Yeah, I'm gonna go to the dump and the car wash. They're probably working on your truck, like, what the fuck? No, I told him. I was on the way to the dump. They're like, it's cool, man.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:19

But it's been it's been cold, so it shouldn't be. It's outside now, so it's but it shouldn't be too bad because it's been cold. It's not like it's the middle of the summer and it's a hundred degrees.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:28

Boiling extra. Right. I don't know if y'all know about this with Virginia Beach, but like, if you miss trash day, you can call and they'll send a truck out.

unknown 1:43:37

Wednesday.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:39

I didn't know if you We'll just suffer until next week. Like regular people.

SPEAKER_09 1:43:43

Yeah, okay. Because I used to do that shit all the time. We believe that. We know you did. I used to forget to take the trash to the road every week, even though my ex didn't work and she could have done it. Yeah, she could have walked the 20 feet. Yeah. The worst. Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:59

In my defense, I could have taken it out, but I didn't finish building that desk. It's like six o'clock in the morning. I could have taken it out.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:05

I could have taken it out. My ex wasn't building desks or anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:08

Ollie had fallen asleep in like the gaming chair. Like he had like his head up against the back of it, his legs were hanging off the seat, and he just fell asleep like that. And then I put him on the bed and like all the animals laid on top of him.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:21

Oh, yeah, good way to sleep. Proceeded to finish building this desk as animal lovers. Yeah. I fall asleep nice to slurpy every night.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:30

Both cats lay on top of me, and so does our training.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:33

Bro, Landy Landy was on the fucking bed with me and made sure I knew it. He went and then laid on me, and I was like, no. And I shook the blanket to get him off. That's fucked up.

SPEAKER_02 1:44:42

No, but boycots are very like be my friend. Yeah. Landy just wants you to be his friend. He loves it.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:49

I have enough friends. It's Winston. I just got a cat. You know what he doesn't do? Meow and lay on my back.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:54

So I'm sure he would if he could. I can start. I would rather you didn't.

SPEAKER_09 1:44:58

Meow. I'd leave. Come here. If the podcast ever ends, it's because of that.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:06

Um he's got cat ears on.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:09

I did just download a cat translator. Um, you know another podcast we could do?

SPEAKER_02 1:45:15

Oh no.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:16

Yeah, no. I'm I'm on a free trial right now for the next week. And apparently you can, I don't know, uh translate cats and their noises. No, you can't.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:27

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:28

I don't think it's too accurate, but like, what does Slurpee keep saying fuck me for? Like earlier, uh Slurpee was purring and I recorded it, and the translation was uh oh, what the fuck was it? That shit said something like uh I really enjoy this couch.

SPEAKER_02 1:45:45

It's so comfy.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:47

Here's the here's what I recorded.

SPEAKER_10 1:45:54

No, it isn't.

SPEAKER_05 1:45:56

Damn.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:08

I'm pressing play, though, it's not playing. Alright, but it was literally her purring like you know, like a normal cat purr.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:16

So it was just him purring.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:18

The translation was I will take revenge on you now.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:24

Yeah, that shit ain't real.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:26

So This is a paid app.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:28

Apparently, I'm on the free trial. I'm about to cancel the shit. This is insane.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:31

But I'm gonna be like, we get money for everything.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:34

Slurpee, come here. Slurpee, come here.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:41

Right, that's what I recorded. So here is We were here for that. I know. I just wanted you guys to hear that part of what it recorded. And here is what that is in cat.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:56

Now let's see if it works.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:03

This isn't fun for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:06

I enjoy critters, and this is insane. I don't but there's other those other No, you do like some critters because you like iguanas want to get another dog after the original.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:19

Yeah, and when Daisy kicks the bucket, you're excited for that day.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:22

Crosses.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:23

No, not excited because it's gonna suck for the kids.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:25

Well, it's gonna suck for me too, because I'm gonna have to do something with her.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:30

Bury it. No, we'll probably just cremate.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:32

Yeah, X will burn.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:33

Give the ashes to X. Now, you know, if you call uh the Virginia Beach waste. Yeah, if you call the the city, if she dies on a day that's not trash day, they'll come and pick her up. Can't put your dog in the city.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:46

That's not how that works. No, I I was I told him I would just use the same people. It's like this couple, I think. Um I found them when my tortoise died, and they come to your house and pick up your animal, pre-made it, and then they bring the ashes back to your house together.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:02

Now let's talk about that relationship for a second.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:48:04

That's kind of no, like in all seriousness, that has to be like a really loving relationship between the husband and wife that came up with that business.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:14

Oh, I don't know anything about them personally.

SPEAKER_08 1:48:16

Yeah, they must be they must like be I pictured when you said that I pictured like this 80-year-old couple like limping up to your I did too, actually.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:24

Okay, well the guy they didn't show up as a couple. Um it was the guy came and he definitely was not 80. How old was he? Um 40s, maybe.

unknown 1:48:33

Cute.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:34

This uh older white man. You love older white men. Debatable. Debatable. I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 1:48:43

We have heard some things in the comments. Have we? Well, that one time you got really the AI caption bullshit. Uh oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:57

No, they I don't know. I had a very brief interaction while I was mid like mental breakdown because I just woke up to my first pet that was like solely mine, dead. Yeah, it was fucking insane.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:07

Me and Ollie woke up and looked at her like she was fucking yelled.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:12

Went back to sleep. Just went back to sleep per usual.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:14

That's what we do, baby.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:16

Um, but yeah, I was like, oh, my tortoise died, da-da-da. And they were very surprised when I just handed them this toddler shoebox. And so then they were like, we picked up a tortoise last week that was like this big. And I was like, no. Here he is, and now I have this bag of ashes that's like this big.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:34

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:36

They brought him back to me. So what is it? In like a little bit.

SPEAKER_08 1:49:40

Yeah, yeah. What what how old was he?

SPEAKER_02 1:49:43

No idea. I adopted him like as an adult.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:44

Yeah, count the rings.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:46

That's not that's a tree. I think that's a tree, dog.

SPEAKER_09 1:49:48

That's a tree. The fun thing is you don't know how old a tree is until you cut it. Or you could use a boroscope. That's not real. Yeah, I know a good podcast idea. What's up?

SPEAKER_02 1:50:01

True cry. Once a month.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:04

Once a month, we have Xavier, Kristen, Justin, and Mark.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:09

No.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:10

It'd be hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:11

For starters, we would have to get parental consent.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:14

We could get that. Yeah, we can have a consent. Yeah, but only reliably.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:20

Only reliably, reliably from one parent for sure.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:27

Maybe.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:29

Maybe.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:30

But not often. Listen to kids, what they got to say is kind of fun sometimes, too.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:34

Yeah, but they're one show back in the day.

SPEAKER_08 1:50:37

Kids say the darnest.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:38

Oh, that was Bill Cosby. Yeah, all he's gonna talk about is fucking pussy and weed. Weed. Pussy and weed. Hey, their intro and pussy. Pussy and weed. Their intro could be that one song that they recorded like a year ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:52

Bro, he asked us to send him that song every week, and I'm like, I don't fucking have it.

SPEAKER_09 1:50:57

Well shit. What did he say? I'll feel you full of holes. I don't know. Yeah, he said he's gonna leave your like Swiss cheese. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:06

I don't know. It wasn't great.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:08

It was a banger. It was a banger.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:11

It was not. Y'all lying. No.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:15

Could have been better.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:20

That was time to eat, come here.

SPEAKER_12 1:51:22

I don't think it worked. I don't think it worked hard.

Photos, Plugs, And The Michael Scott Quote

SPEAKER_09 1:51:28

That was come on, your food is ready. We're back to this. Why? We never left it. I tried to so hard. He's been waiting.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:37

You press these buttons. You can also show love. This one says, You're my sweet one. I love you.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:44

They're all the fuck the same. Am I tripping?

SPEAKER_02 1:51:47

It's like in uh in Mario party when it does the vibrations, and it's like, which one is it? And they're all the same.

SPEAKER_09 1:51:53

This one says, Come here, my little one.

unknown 1:51:58

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:59

That's a good one. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:00

This one this one is uh we're still going with us. I'm here, it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:05

I could throw his phone. He acts like I can't get up and clear this table before he could even register. Please don't easy now. Calm down.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:18

Oh, that was actually different. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:21

This is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:22

Hannah. This one is all right, my sweet one. It was awesome having you on the podcast today. Oh yeah, I kept going.

SPEAKER_12 1:52:32

It was okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:33

Um where can people find you at?

SPEAKER_02 1:52:38

So like stalk me?

SPEAKER_10 1:52:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:40

I wish they wouldn't.

SPEAKER_10 1:52:42

Our fans, our fans want to be your fans.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:45

Ah, I don't know if they do.

SPEAKER_10 1:52:47

They do.

SPEAKER_02 1:52:48

Okay, well, I take pictures.

SPEAKER_09 1:52:52

Where can they find your pictures at? If I wanted to book you for photos, Hannah Lynn photography. Do you take pictures of cats?

SPEAKER_02 1:52:58

I can take pictures of cats. Do you think that's a good thing? But my first choice, not necessarily. Do I do nudes? Yeah. I mean I can. I have.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:08

Nice.

SPEAKER_12 1:53:08

So uh just take pictures. Okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:12

And when you get your massage um license and everything. We gotta have you back on so you can tell everybody about that.

SPEAKER_08 1:53:18

So you can be like HLn photography slash massage, or will you make a separate account?

SPEAKER_02 1:53:24

That would be a separate entity. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:28

She's gonna try to do heavy on the sports massage too, so that's pretty dope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:32

I like stretching flood easier on my body.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:35

Yeah. Where can people find you at, Winston? Oh my house.

SPEAKER_08 1:53:39

Yeah, I'm here in the ocean view. Damn. That's crazy to tell people. We haven't said that like 500 times.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:48

Yeah, but we could have been we could be at somebody else's house. Uh no, this is my house, and we've made that clear too multiple fucking times.

SPEAKER_02 1:53:56

That's why Winston has 5,000 cameras.

SPEAKER_09 1:53:59

Yeah, he has a couple guns too. Yeah. Grab da, you know what I'm saying? Pwa, pup. Um, no, um, I don't really do social media that much. True. It's too an it's annoying. What? It's annoying that you don't because it's like, if we hold on.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:25

What the fuck? Oh, that's not good.

SPEAKER_09 1:54:32

Mackenzie Blackwell was placed on injured reserve with lower body injury.

SPEAKER_10 1:54:36

He hasn't even played played. Did he just play?

unknown 1:54:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:54:41

Um, sorry, it popped up.

SPEAKER_09 1:54:43

It popped up. It's important news. It's breaking fucking news. No, um, yeah, because it's like uh sharing our stuff. Bro. Did pop up for you too? No, no, no. Mine's something completely different. Oh yeah. Um no, I mean, I share our stuff every now and then. But um, if you do want to follow me, uh, I am on Instagram. I don't really fucking post on there. Um and my Instagram, what the fuck is my Instagram? It's my whole name. It's it's my f first initial and last name. Don't tell people that W Sesams. That's W-S-E-S-S-O-M as a mother s you can also find us at uh just just underscore talking underscore unfiltered. That's right, Brian. All right, go ahead. Or you can find our link tree. Absolutely. Um that has all of our socials on there.

SPEAKER_08 1:55:46

And you can listen on anywhere that you get your podcast. Absolutely. That's right. Hannah. We end every episode with a quote, as I'm sure you know by now. So I hope you came prepared this time with a good quote.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:01

She didn't. She's starting to look around and stuff. She's pissed the fuck off. She's like, like and follow. Umfucius says. You gotta look a quote up. Oh, like Hunter. Right. Hunter, Hunter gave a quote that was like a real fucking quote from a person. Yeah, Winston Churchill. And it's like, give me a good quote about big booty bitches.

SPEAKER_10 1:56:31

I know one.

SPEAKER_06 1:56:32

If I die, bury me in a Gucci store. It's pretty good. All I need is two bitches.

SPEAKER_08 1:56:43

All I want for my birthday.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:52

Oh, that song last week was definitely mountain. Yeah, it's a real song. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:57:09

I will find it.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:13

Now that I realize that, like um if we get flagged for a song, it'll just make us leave it out. No, not even. It just says like if we ever monetize, then we'll have to do something about it, but for now we're good.

SPEAKER_07 1:57:32

This might be it.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:41

This has been the third robbery. Oh, okay, we'll wait. Hold on, Hannah, don't say your thing yet.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:47

No, that's right.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:47

I'm still doesn't take that long to find a fucking quote on it.

SPEAKER_02 1:57:52

Oh shut up.

SPEAKER_09 1:57:55

Did that make it up?

SPEAKER_02 1:57:59

Okay, I got one.

SPEAKER_05 1:58:03

What up? What are I am? Lucky Wednesday.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:08

This might be it.

SPEAKER_00 1:58:28

I just want the blue cheese in the thousand islands.

SPEAKER_10 1:58:31

Blue cheese in the thousand islands. I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 1:58:40

See, we got into this one. We were talking about Hannah Montana. Hanna Montana. Hanna Montana.

SPEAKER_09 1:58:45

No, there's a fucking Tony Montana song. He's going Tony Montana! Tony Montana. I was like, no, there is a Hannah Montana.

SPEAKER_02 1:58:53

I believe that. He does shit like that on the right.

SPEAKER_09 1:58:56

Maybe it's this one, maybe it's this one.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:11

It's good. The coolest DJ in the movie.

SPEAKER_10 1:59:26

I know I'm fucking committed. I know it. What? Is that young Drake? Y'all have never heard this song before? No.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:35

No, I've only heard you do your rendition. Is it the first time I've heard this shit? No, this is not the first time I've heard your rendition of it. Right. But that is the only time that I I've heard this song. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:59:50

Y'all are welcome. It's real. Welcome to my world.

Closing Song And Sign-Off

SPEAKER_02 1:59:55

Welcome to my fucking world. And I leave you with I'm not. Superstitious, but I am a little stitched. The great Michael Scott.

SPEAKER_08 2:00:05

Hello. Yes. Love y'all. Love y'all. Thanks, everybody. Have a good day.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:24

Cheering our minds. Talking about nothing. And all we can find. Winston and Brian. They're keeping it real. Just two good old boys with plenty to spill. So pull up a chair, we'll see you next time. Same old voices, a brand new eye. It's just talk, unfiltered and free. No scripts, no rules, just all a steel. From big ours, the stories are told. We're leaving you now, but we'll be by just talking unfiltered. Get you down the road. They've got the charm. A little bit of mischief, but no one gets harmed. From the kitchen table to the open air. They'll shoot the breeze, Cause they just don't care. So here's to the last and give to the fun. It say goodbye, it's just two and none. It's just talk unfiltered and free. No scripts, no rules, just honesty. From big old stories untold. We're leaving you now, but we'll be back. Oh It's just talking unfiltered. Care, she found the road They've got the banter, they've got the charm A little bit of mischief, but no one gets harmed. From the kitchen table to the open air. Cause they just don't care. So here's to the laughs, and here's to the fun. They say goodbye, it's just to a none. It's just talk, unfiltered and free. No scripts, no rules, just honesty. From big old eyes to stories untold. We're leaving you now, but we'll be back. Oh it's just talking unfiltered, catch you down the road.