We Drank Coronas So You Don’t Have To

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Transcript

Cold Open, Accents, And Banter

SPEAKER_02 0:10

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Just Talking Unfiltered. I'm Winston. Brian. It's Brian. That's right. It's me. We're here for another episode. We took last week off. Yeah, we took last week off for uh MLK Day. That's right. Good celebration. Uh actually, we took it off because I had to work. I I've been working the last I was celebrating. Two weeks straight. And uh there was no time in there to I don't know about two weeks straight. Uh two working weeks plus the weekend. I worked through the weekend, all right. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. But anyway, there's no time to film a podcast and get it all edited. Yeah, we're sorry. Yeah, so did you miss? Did you miss, mate? Oopsie dizies. I like doing I like I like trying to do a uh English accent. Hello, governor. Is that good? It was alright. I mean, like they put the brilliant in the boot. I don't know what you said. Exactly. It was good. That's how good that's how good it was. No. You didn't no governor.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

That was pretty good.

SPEAKER_11 1:11

Hello, Brian.

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Would you like some would you like some tea? What is that? A British redneck? Would you like some what's like tea? What other accents can you do? Uh we've done this a few times. Have we? Yeah, what else can you do? No accents. That's that's impressions. Oh, accents, you dickhead. Yeah. Um I'm walking here. That's New York.

SPEAKER_16 1:38

Hey, I'm walking here. Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Yeah, yeah, I can do that one. Yeah. That was good. Thank you. Can you Irish? Um, what do they sound like? Hello Milati. Hello Milati. I don't know if it's right or not. Hello Lassie. I love over there in Europe. They always call people cunts. Right. Well, I'll cunt. I'll dig up your nan and shen your dog. Shag your dog. Yeah. Yeah, whatever the fuck they should be saying. Yeah. That's a good one. We might want to blur this out. That might be really offensive if there's anyone in Europe listening. Yeah, that'll be alright. Dig up your gran and shag your dog and you're gonna fuck the dog, man.

SPEAKER_06 2:16

That's so dumb. I don't think that's what it is.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

I thought it was dig up your dog, dig up your dog and shag your gram.

SPEAKER_06 2:22

No.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

It was it was fuck the dog. Is it? Because they were like, your grandma's dead. Shame on you, Great Britain. Is it Great Britain, England?

SPEAKER_03 2:34

Yeah, it's all the same. What's the other one that they called it? Uh Great Britain. England. United Kingdom. Yeah, yeah. Is that all the same as shit?

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Yeah, the UK. Yeah. He was like, there's no third one, Playboy. No, I was just waiting for you to say London. I was a bit like, that's our place. Yeah, I was thinking London.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

Wasn't there the uh I see London, I see France, I see your mom's underpants.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Yeah. Hey. Yeah, that was definitely a thing. Um It was a bunch of shit like that. Like Tic Tac Toe, three in a row, Marty got shot by a G.I. Joe. Oh, dude, I for I don't know. You're bringing back some memories right now. I forgot about this shit. That's right. Um some of the ones y'all used to do. I don't know. Sure, it was racist. Probably had something to do with meth. Y'all played hopscotch with meth? You like hopscotch? Hopping over needles. Yeah, I mean, you fucking you throw the rock on the fucking number, and then you're supposed to fucking run that many laps around the school. No, that can't be right. What? No.

SPEAKER_03 3:45

Hell no. Then how do you do the fucking boom, boom, boom? When you like with your feet. One, two. Yeah, after each lap, you do that.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

You like you as that's how you count your lap. Fuck no. Is that real? I don't that's how we played. You ever played double dutch? I never played. Isn't that where you just like fart under a blanket or something? See who passes out first. Motherfucker, that's Dutch oven.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

Double Dutch is with the jump room. You go have a kid one day that, like, dad, let's play double dutch. You're like, I climb on up in here. I got one of brewing.

Viral Clip: “Adult Baby” Reactions

SPEAKER_02 4:25

You picked a dad a bad day for this. We just had beans. Well, I had beans and washed it down with the whole milk. You're fucked. Strawberry nest quick. Oh my god. Alright. You want to start it with a clip? Let us do it. All right. Here's one I've been wanting to show you for a fucking while, and it's fucking insane.

SPEAKER_07 4:50

I feel having a crib is the most important thing. The bars signify safety, and it's something babies have when they came.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Stanley is 31 years old, but he still needs to suck on a pacifier and cuddle a small dog to sleep every night. His room is decorated like a playground.

SPEAKER_07 5:06

For me, I'm in baby mode on and off all day.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

He wets the bed and has to wear a diaper every day.

SPEAKER_07 5:11

When I was 13, I started having bedwetting problems and putting us diapers.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

In the morning, Stanley went to a children's playground to play. Afterward, he went to the store to buy diapers and also picked out his favorite toy. Back home, he played with building blocks. His dream is to become an architect. And this is the happiest time of his day. He does not work because he has the mental age of a three-year-old. His living expenses are covered entirely by his girlfriend. After a day of work, she also has to feed him, play with toys with him, and tell him a story when he goes to bed. Otherwise, he won't fall asleep. This is a day in his life.

SPEAKER_12 6:03

Yo, it's Winston and Ryan, the unfiltered crew. Fat bearded legends with opinions for you. Exercise laughs, no filter, no cap, poor drink, take a seat. We just talk and rap. Winston in the corner with the whiskey in his fist, Ryan yelling loud. Every topic gets dissed. Beard's so thick, they can smuggle the bridge kit. Voices boomin' harder than the 12 minutes up kick. Grab your low scar. We ain't polite. Welcome to the show. It's a bar fight tonight. Just talking to the no rules, coach. Two fat boys taking over the gap. Texas key, Texas, beats, grab a mic and ignite. It's whiskey and fighting. Keep it raw. Keep it tight. Just talking to the no rules, coach. I shouldn't say like that. From brisket to politics, no subject move.

SPEAKER_04 7:02

Barbecue stains on a microphone.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Bro, dude. What the actual fucking fuck I um been holding on to that for a while, dog. You think she gotta wipe his ass? Alright, let me ask you this. He has the mental capacity of a three-year-old, right? But he can go to the store. But he has a girlfriend. So does that make her profile? Ooh. You know what I mean? That's fucked. That's fucked. That's really fucked. You gotta bleep that out too, by the way. God damn it. Sorry. Yeah, that one's gonna be a one you definitely have to do. That's gonna be a marker for me.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

Um, dog. Here's the thing, though. Here's the thing. When I was single and I would see shit like this, I'm like, I can't even fucking find nobody. Right. This dude's shitting on himself and oh yeah, she definitely wipes that shit.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

That's that's fucking insane.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

Jesus, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that's disgusting. Shut the fuck up.

Dating, Ghosting, And Unfiltered Rants

SPEAKER_02 7:56

Um yeah, no, but that's how I feel right now. Um like a baby in a crib. No, because I'm single. Right. And I'm like, the fuck? Right. Oh, you're actually single now. Right? Yeah, I'm fucking bent. Yeah, fuck that bitch. Right. Yeah. I mean Casper the Ghost showed up again. Boo. Boo. After they're like, I'm not gonna ghost you a second or third time. No, third time. At least you waited a little bit longer this time. Well, yeah, this time I just went and fixed your fucking car, helped her with other shit. Right. Um Bro, you gotta get blowjobs for this stuff. Like, as soon as you fix the car, you'll be like, your payment. Why are your pants off? Right. You're sitting in your car, she's like, well, I'm gonna go home.

SPEAKER_06 8:41

You're like, are you?

SPEAKER_02 8:43

You will in about like 30 seconds. Bro, I've thought about that shit.

SPEAKER_04 8:48

Dude, that shit pisses me off because that person goes to church all the time and does this and that. Jesus wouldn't ghost anybody.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Although he did ascend to heaven. Well, he wouldn't ghost anybody. Yeah, I mean, even after he died, he'd resurrected as himself. Exactly. Not even a ghost. Right. This fucking bitch. Damn, the BITCH.

SPEAKER_04 9:12

Has done nothing but like ghost me after all I was trying to do was like hang out and like I obviously gave a fuck about her because uh she done ghosted me twice and then came back and apologized, and I was like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:29

I wait that she listens to the podcast because she'll hear all this and it makes me happy. She probably doesn't listen anymore. I don't and honestly, fuck her. I don't I don't give a fuck because that's some fake ass Christian shit right now. Some fake well, I'm not gonna say that part. Some fake ass shit. It's fuck. Hunt. It's fuck. Right? Is that good? That's too much. I don't know. Fucking whore. Is that too much? No, because she's not even that. Slut. Not even that. Not even. Is there anything I could say that would be Dude? I I don't know. You're a midget. Are you allowed to say midget? She's not even a midget.

SPEAKER_06 10:03

Are you even allowed to say midget?

SPEAKER_02 10:07

I don't know. We'll put that in just in case. But like it sucks, dude. Like the whole episode. Fucking beep beep. Yeah, I'm gonna have to morse code that shit. Right. But no, dude, it fucking sucks. Like I give a shit about this person. And well, hopefully you don't anymore. I don't know, man. Maybe if you had a diaper and a creep. Right. Maybe that's what the fuck I needed. This mama, she said, you ready to take your nap? He said, No.

SPEAKER_12 10:36

Bro.

SPEAKER_02 10:37

Oh my god. Dude. What the actual fuck? That's so funny. That's fucked. Um, that's good. Yeah. Okay, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 10:49

I was thinking about that shit as I fucking shit like that. I know we probably shouldn't laugh because maybe he has like a mental thing.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

You think? Maybe. He 100% has a mental thing. Maybe not. Maybe he just likes fucking being a baby. That is a mental thing. No. Yes. That is 1,000% a mental fucking thing. So we shouldn't laugh. No, we should. They were playing sad music and shit, and I'm just busting out laughing in the middle of it. I can't help it.

SPEAKER_04 11:21

Oh, dude, that shit was fucking.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

I love that. I thought about um when you said uh about uh you'll go home in like 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

I thought about like, what if I had a threesome? Right? And you finish real early and now you just gotta sit there and watch, and now you feel left out. Right. Yeah. I thought about that. Well, I'll literally be like, oh, there's two people right now. Thanks for coming.

SPEAKER_03 11:47

Right, y'all. Time for y'all to separate. I gotta take a blue chew. Right. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

I always thought I wanted one, but maybe not. Dude, it feels like there might be too much pressure. Like, yeah. It already sucks, like having to make sure you do it right for the for the one. Well, you know what you can get? They sell this like um a double dildo. No. What? You ain't never seen triple sided dildo, you mean? No, no, no. It's it's like a thing that slides over your dick and it's another dick. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you get like five at the same time. I don't know how how you do it, but you do something. That was a move. That was a move.

SPEAKER_03 12:31

Um no, I was gonna say they sell this fucking like gel that you put on your dick and it makes it less stimulated. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:41

Numbs it up a little bit. You being that bitch just stroking boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Right. It's like wearing a condom. No condom. Same, same. Right. For our underage listeners, um, wear a condom.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

Because now we have fans that are.

SPEAKER_04 12:59

Oh yeah. Yeah, you did say that we do have some of your son's friends listening now.

SPEAKER_05 13:04

Well, that's not what I said, but it's okay. Just people in general.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Yes. People in general. Wear a condom. Yeah. Or you'll end up with kids like me. Prevent, prevent um herpes like him. Bro, I was uh no, no, no. No, no, no, you're you're bringing up something. Um, this chick liked me on uh a dating app uh and I read the bio and it was like not here for hookups. I have HP V2, and I was like, HP V2, what the fuck is that? Right, what's that? I was like, this bitch like polyamorous or something. What the fuck does this mean? I typed in HP V2, and that's it said genital herpes, and I was like, delete. Yeah. At least he told everybody. Yeah, yeah. Not here for a hookup. If we fuck, you're gonna have herpes. Right. Awesome.

unknown 13:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Does she listen? I never messaged her. Oh, you didn't even message? No, I saw HP V2 and I was like, You could have got some head. I'm good. You can you can have sex as long as it's not during a flare-up. Yeah, I didn't want to risk it for the biscuit, you know what I'm saying? How would you tell, anyways? You get in there like kind of bumpy. Right. Present arms. Right. Spread that roast beef to the side. Yeah. Let me inspect before I like a guy, no. Let me inspect before I I was gonna come up with a rhyme. Tell us. Let me inspect before I Infect. Before you infect.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

I was a rapper now. What do you what do you call it when you let me inspect before I inject? That's what I was going with. I couldn't think of inject. Okay. What did I say? Because I don't want to get an infect. Yeah. Spitting ROMs. That's right. Bars. Bars on bars on bars, baby. Well, when you was in school, you went to school in uh North Kakalaki, right? Uh which one? Uh just elementary middle. Okay.

School Tests, Number Two Pencils, And Tech In Class

SPEAKER_03 15:09

Yeah. Like, you know. Grade school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Um, yeah, you went to school, right? Yes. When you were in school, because we went to school at different times, probably ten years apart.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Did y'all have uh benchmarks at SOL? So we didn't have uh some called an SOL. We had an EOG. And the EOGs are still being conducted to this day. Um But it's basically an SOL. Uh it's end of grade test. That's what the E and the O and the G stands for.

SPEAKER_04 15:40

And basically we would take those at the end of our grading period for that class. And uh we would take that and it would let us know if we pass that class or not.

SPEAKER_03 15:52

I just went and go to class and take the EOG and be like, boom.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Couldn't do that. That was good. Couldn't do that.

SPEAKER_04 15:56

Why?

SPEAKER_02 15:56

You just couldn't.

unknown 15:57

Why?

SPEAKER_02 15:59

So you can get all as AL A's all year and then fail the EOG and fail the class? Uh it factors so like the weight of the EOG affects the percentage a hell of a lot more than everything else you do, or some shit like that. So it's like a final exam. On a state level, like you had to do like the bubbles and stuff. Oh, okay, okay. That's what I'm getting to. You ever done a benchmark? Where you did the bubbles and shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

Bro, one time when I was in school, I was in a class and I didn't feel like doing it. Uh-huh. So I just filled out C, front and back. And when the Proctor, is that called Proctor? Sure. Picked up the Tesla, the Tesla booklet thing. I was like, there was only 50 questions. I had like 200 C's up there. I was like, just running through the machine.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Bro, this is gonna be the wrong kind of benchmark for y'all. Y'all losing all y'all's fucking funding. Bro, and not only that, I got a couple of things to talk about. This the fucking um remember it had to be with a number two pencil?

SPEAKER_03 16:58

Yeah, why?

SPEAKER_02 16:59

First of all, first of all, first question. Uh huh. Why a number two? Why a number two pencil? Second of all, second question, who's ever seen anything other than a number two pencil? Have you ever seen a number one pencil? No, is there? I've seen one that says number one dad. I've seen that. But I don't think that's a number one. That was probably a number two pencil. Right. It was a number two pencil for a number one person. Right, exactly. So what does a number one uh pencil look like? No idea. We will find out right here. Hey John! Johnny, look up a number one pencil for uh crack whore. I want to make sure she gets the best when she's filing her taxes. I can't read all this shit. Can you read it? Nope.

SPEAKER_05 17:44

I'm just gonna look at images. Which one says images?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Uh go left. That's right. That's that's your fucking right. That one? Yep. That's a number two pencil. Number two. Probably number two. Yeah, probably number two.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Yeah, so.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

What about a number three? No, we can't read anything. Yeah. I'll look it up on my phone.

SPEAKER_04 18:12

Oh. Yeah, we should do that.

SPEAKER_03 18:15

Number one pencil. Sorry, I'm not talking into the mic, that was insane. Number one pencil. A number one pencil is a softer graphite pencil containing more graphite and less clay.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

I would say that it's not that much different. Doesn't sound like it. And how would they know? Uh there's probably a graphite reader in the scanner.

SPEAKER_05 18:44

That sounds expensive.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

Well, these are state level.

SPEAKER_02 18:49

These are state level exams. I think now they just do it on the computer. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not in school. My son just took one. Was it on the computer? I didn't ask. No. Bad dad. Bad dad. Bad dad. You don't give the number one dad number two pencil. Right. I don't remember the last time that I bought him a pencil or pen. Really? Yeah, or a notebook. You don't do like uh school supply shopping. There's not really a such thing anymore. Really? Sons in high school, all he uses is a fucking Chromebook all day. That's crazy. It's insane. I I would Saving Money though. Yeah, I mean definitely, but I I know me personally, if I was going, maybe it would be different because I grew up. I mean personally, I grew up in a in a stage where technology was getting implemented like that. Right. So I had both textbooks and school supplies, and then I also towards the end of my schooling, they were starting to implement the Chromebooks and everything. And I had none of that. Yeah. But we had DOS. But like one thing, like right now, I know me, like going to online college and shit. I fucking hate textbooks on computers. I like having a Physical book that I can flip the pages through. That's all Hannah. She's like, I want to highlight and shit. Damn. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Like, I don't know. Maybe it would be different if I grew up completely in a 100%, you know, technologically advanced era.

SPEAKER_04 20:15

I like it. This fucking serial killer C4, it's my favorite so far. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 20:30

I don't know what it tastes like.

SPEAKER_04 20:32

Fruity pebbles, but refreshing.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

So Sprite?

SPEAKER_02 20:37

No. Sprite doesn't taste like fucking fruity pebbles.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Yeah, I don't know. I haven't had Sprite in 24,000 years old.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

I didn't say Sprite, I said fruity pebbles. What did I say? Sprite. Yeah, I haven't had Sprite in like 40 years. We're not talking about Sprite, we're talking about fruity pebbles. But what I'm saying is fruity pebbles fruity pebbles more refreshing taste like Sprite, probably, right? Sprite does not taste like fruity pebbles. No. I don't know, dog. What the fuck is happening? I haven't had fruity pebbles in a while neither. This is fucking insane. It could taste like it. No, just like think of fruity think of it. I haven't had C4 in probably C4 years. Fucking stupid.

unknown 21:22

Oh.

SPEAKER_05 21:25

Guess what? Um these motherfuckers that work drug tested me after I talked about smoking weed.

SPEAKER_02 21:33

That's funny. It's not. I mean, it is. Yeah, no, it's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

Well, also, I threw a big fit about it because I didn't want to go that day because I had so much shit to do. So I'm like, I don't want to take a drug test today. And they're like, Can I do it tomorrow? And they're like, it's a random dog.

Drug Test At Work And Setting Up Beer Review

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Like, that's not how that shit works. It's a random. They're like, go ahead and pack your things. Right. You don't want to take you're asking to take it tomorrow because you're not prepared. Right. Right. They didn't let me study. Oh, that's fucking funny. I passed. Oh, you passed? Yeah. Oh yeah. Everybody asked me, How'd your drug test go? I was like, fine. Right. I'm good. We don't actually do drugs here. No. The most I do is fucking drink too much. I forgot to grab the beers. So I mean, I knew you didn't grab them. I figured we would grab them on a piss break. So I was kind of Oh, well, I didn't want to do all of them at the same time.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

I kind of want to do it throughout the episode. Oh. Yes, I'm an idiot.

SPEAKER_02 22:25

Alright.

SPEAKER_03 22:26

I mean, well, we can always um what so uh one of my friend's sons is on our TikTok and he asked us to um rate the best the three top three Mexican beers.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

All right, so let me get this straight. We don't do top threes around here, right? But let me also get this straight. Top fives. Also, let me get this straight. A child is wanting us to rate beers. Yeah. We're just gonna do it.

SPEAKER_06 22:58

Probably for future references.

SPEAKER_02 23:00

All right, when I turn 21, that's the one I'm getting. Yeah, the just talking said, you know, whatever one we pick. This is fucking insane, dude. The one they didn't have that I couldn't get Takate. What? Takate. Are you are you sure you're pronouncing that right? T E C A T E. Takate. You don't know what that is? No. You've never had it before? I I I can't picture it. I maybe. Let me pull it up for you. Ask Johnny. Johnny, look up a legal Takate beer without my ass. I've never seen those. Yeah, I'm gonna leave that page up for you. Yeah, so couldn't find that one. Really? It's really really good though. But I got I I hit all the uh I had all the top ones. Okay. Yeah, so I had Corona's. Yeah, got more.

SPEAKER_03 24:01

I got the Corona Extra, uh-huh, Corona Light. Uh-huh. I got the um Modelo Negro. I got the uh modelo especial, and I got a um Dolse's.

SPEAKER_02 24:18

I can do this fucking top five without how that's not how we do it around here. We drink and then we pick. Yeah. Yeah. Um yeah, no, I'm totally down for that. I I'm not a huge fan of uh it might sound sacrilegious to some people, but I'm not a fan of Coronas. No, me neither. It sounds like a piss. Yeah. Um I've never had the uh Negro ones. The black ones. I never had that one before. Yeah, no, I've never had those ones either. Which one? Uh the one you just talked about. Right. Right. It's not uh just like no. I know. Okay. Yeah, it's part of the language. Yeah. But I still feel bad saying it. Yeah. Good for you. I'm like, not gonna catch me. Bro, like uh my favorite chip is Lay's Salt and Vin. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My favorite barbecue is Vin based. Right. Right. That's good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:30

I like what you're doing there. Yeah. This should be part of your stand-up routine. You know, you gotta hit him with the it sucks being a white man out here.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

Can't say nothing. Can't even talk about my barbecue. Can't talk about my chips. People are booing you because you're saying it sucks to be a white man right now. They're like, I think it's pretty great. Oh, I can have all the ice in my drink. Right. Bro, so all right.

SPEAKER_03 25:58

So y'all should have noticed that we um we had a new intro, right?

SPEAKER_02 26:04

Yeah, okay. I noticed it. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

Um, bro, so I didn't know something you brought to my attention because somebody on my Facebook was like, don't use an AI photo of me. Y'all are just wasting water. And I was pissed. I was like, fuck this dumb bitch. This fucking tree hugging ass bitch. And I was going off, and you're like, nah, bro.

Mexican Beer Tasting Begins

SPEAKER_02 26:28

Like, you know, the water has to cool, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm pretty sure we talked about this in one of our episodes. I think we just talked about it on the phone. Either way, even if we did, it's fine. Um, I waste the shit out of water. Yeah. I'll change one little detail. Dude, I'll uh I'll be taking a shit and leave the shower running. I think AI wastes more. I don't know because I'd be taking long shits like 30 minutes. I was just waiting for the water to heat up, but 30 minute shits are ridiculous. I mean I'll be in and out in that hope. I can't even watch a full ticket. I'm like, I'm done. That should just fall out your ass. Well, it doesn't fall. Right. Um call for the damn I should myself. Um I wonder if gay dudes shit weird. I mean, we got somebody we can call. Not doing that. Ghostbusters. Right. Um Ghostbusters. Right. If it's something strange. Also for May. For May, I know. I know nobody's gonna know Gay Busters.

SPEAKER_04 27:34

I know nobody's gonna know what I'm about to say but uh or talk about, but I think uh in one of these months coming up where we celebrate, we should release that one promo.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

Oh what month is that? Maybe it rhymes with gay, right?

SPEAKER_06 27:50

It's gonna be May.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

It's gonna be May. Oh, just so everyone's aware. I don't care if you're gay. Yeah, I don't know. I don't. It's jokes. It literally doesn't affect me. Yeah. It could. What? You're a little bit gay too.

SPEAKER_03 28:05

I'm not gay. How come? What is how come? When you want to do something nice for yourself as a man, it's gay.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

It's gay. Right. No, like I want to tell you. Like when I bought cologne, you were like, ha ha, gay, gay boy.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

No, I be wanting to tell you and the fellow listeners out there about my new skin routine.

SPEAKER_02 28:28

But I don't want y'all to call me gay. Bro, no, no, no. I literally, it was last night or the night before, saw this video, and it was of this army dude, and he's he's real famous on TikToks and shit. And he was like, Yeah, so I was doing a skincare routine. A lot of you people said that it was real feminine, not masculine enough. So I'm here to try and do it more masculine, and then all of a sudden the camera transitions to him, and he's wearing a fucking uh combat fucking vest, right? But he's still shirtless. He's like, Alright, so maybe this will be more masculine. So I'm gonna start off with this moisturizer.

SPEAKER_03 29:09

Nah, that started, I started fucking exfoliating. I got like fucking six, seven different fucking skin shit. I got fucking this fucking alcohol-based aftershave that I use. I got fucking scalp cleanser.

SPEAKER_02 29:25

Well, you know, literally, the skin, your skin is the largest organ of your body. It's actually an organ. For some of y'all. What? Not for me. Your asshole? My heart. I have a big heart. Now that was gay. Huh? That was gay. Do we have to bleep out gay?

unknown 29:48

No. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, beep, bleep.

SPEAKER_03 29:55

Uh matter of fact, in May, we're gonna be gay. No, we're gonna have we're gonna do a gay episode. We're gonna celebrate it.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Nothing but gay TikToks. Right. We'll call a couple queens. You know what I mean? You probably try to get me into a dick sucking contest. You go first. Come on, it's not that bad. Right. This is for them. Right, right. You don't care? Oh, you don't care. Okay. Bigot. Yeah. Um what are we gonna do for February? Is that Black History Month? Yeah. We should just um do episodes with the lights out. Just be dark in here. That feels the complete opposite of celebrating. No, it's bro. Come on. We could have black hosts. I'm not putting blackface on. No, no, not like that. Okay. We'll we'll hire. No, we won't hire. We'll ask some of our friends.

SPEAKER_03 31:00

So they're gonna do it for free?

SPEAKER_02 31:01

Yeah, we're gonna ask some of our friends to who could have to get. So you're gonna make black people come up here and host our show without payment. Bro, it's for exposure.

SPEAKER_03 31:12

That's the payment. Anyways, no, you're trying to get me hemmed up to some racist shit. I was just joking about the lights out. I know. That's not funny.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

You made me say that. I didn't say that at all. Cut that out. I said, what would we do? You're like, turn the lights out. Yeah. What I meant was like we would turn the lights out and not do anything that month. Baby lock the door and turn the lights down. I added in that time. Put some music on the soft and slow. Go get a beer, dog. Can we go get it?

SPEAKER_04 31:46

I got two.

SPEAKER_02 31:46

Then we go get one of the Mexican beers, dog.

unknown 31:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:50

Hispanic.

SPEAKER_02 31:51

No, it's they're Mexican beers. Can we go get it? Yeah, sure. All right. I'll sit here and don't look at my butt, man. I'll sit here and entertain people. And uh so we're not gonna do the lights out thing. Um and if we did have people here, we would definitely pay them uh proper salary. Um other than that, um yeah, uh we hope you guys like the new intro. Little little thing we came up with. It's really nothing. I'm just sitting here trying to fill some time while he goes to the fridge. Um fuck ghosts. I know that. Um if you can't man up or woman up, it was a female, it was definitely a female. Um but uh if you can't just straight up say, like, hey, I also don't like you again for the fifth time, uh you're a fucking cunt.

SPEAKER_04 32:51

And uh you're fake as fuck, and that's probably why your child is so fucking insane.

unknown 32:57

What are we doing?

SPEAKER_04 32:59

Oh, my bad. I was just talking about TED Talk. I was talking about February Black History Month.

SPEAKER_03 33:04

There's no way. Oh man, let me get my headphones back on.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

That's wrong. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:13

Alright, and we're back.

SPEAKER_02 33:15

And we're back. Yeah, we're back.

SPEAKER_03 33:17

Alright, what do you want to start off with?

SPEAKER_02 33:19

Well, Ringro.

SPEAKER_04 33:23

Yeah, sure. Let's fucking start with that one.

SPEAKER_03 33:26

Which one is it? That's loud.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

It's not gonna pick it up. It's not gonna pick it up, wrong.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

Do you want it in the cup or do you want the bottle?

SPEAKER_04 33:36

Um, I'll I'll I'll do from the bottle.

Sex Talk, Teen Listeners, And Safer Choices

SPEAKER_03 33:39

Alright. The next one will be better.

SPEAKER_02 34:01

All right. Smells dark. All right, so this right here is our top five Mexican beers. Yeah. That's gonna be the first one we drink. No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

We do that. Here's what we're gonna do. Throughout the episode, we're just gonna drink them. Oh, okay. And at the end, that'll be our top five. Salute.

SPEAKER_02 34:33

Actually, not bad. That's really good. Number two.

SPEAKER_03 34:45

That's good. Yeah, that's a way. AI. I'd be wasting hella water.

SPEAKER_05 34:54

Like your long shits.

SPEAKER_03 34:56

Yeah, dude. Now, when you say long shits, do you mean like your turds long as fuck? You got like a 10-foot log coming out?

SPEAKER_02 35:02

That's gay. Right? Shittin's gay. Hold on. You're asking, you're going too far. All right. You started off here. You went over here. Right. Normally. Yeah. Um, first of all, um I know the episode of this episode. Stop. Go ahead. Um gay burps. Your states like cum. No.

SPEAKER_10 35:30

No, no, why'd you?

SPEAKER_11 35:32

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

Why'd you go?

unknown 35:35

No.

SPEAKER_03 35:36

What if I eat my own cum? That's my business, right? I don't. It's gay. It's not gay. Okay. Oh, I cannot wait to get into this conversation. Fuck everything that happened before. How was that gay?

SPEAKER_02 35:48

How's it gay? It's cum. Okay. Alright, whatever. You never kissed a girl after you came in her mouth? No. I don't come in her mouth. You probably don't come at all. I do. You definitely do. Fucking, okay.

SPEAKER_03 36:06

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 36:08

Uh uh if a girl does something to you with your butthole, is that gay? Yeah. Yeah. I've done that. What? Yeah. No, but it's not gay. You know why? It is, and I've done it. No. Yeah, you didn't think that, huh? No. I don't think it is gay because it's with a fucking girl. Yeah, but it's your butt. So it makes it gay. God said. No, God didn't say it. God didn't say it.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

Um no. No. Well, let's move on. When's the last time you dreamed?

SPEAKER_02 37:03

Tony, my shit. Right. Ten feet long. No, no, they're not ten feet long because they're not gay. Um but like sometimes like, oh shit. And I'm like, my stomach hurts. And I'm like, there's still more in there, and I'll have to wait until it cycles through.

SPEAKER_19 37:19

Right.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:22

That's insane because my body will just fucking straight clean me out.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Drop it.

SPEAKER_10 37:29

Stop! Gonna break down.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

Gotta clean up, bro. Go to break. We just thought about moving it here in the carpet. Go to break, dog. And we're back. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. We're uh all pissed up and pissed off.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

We're we're something all right.

SPEAKER_19 38:24

Cheers.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

Cheers, bro. Love this corona.

SPEAKER_03 38:34

Not the best one.

SPEAKER_04 38:39

Why does it it always smell like weed to me?

SPEAKER_03 38:42

That's how Heineken is for me.

SPEAKER_04 38:44

Really? I love a good Heineken.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Yeah, I love Heineken. They give me a nice little buzz. I like that. Oh, don't worry, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not drinking that much. He's drinking the remainder. Yeah, I'm just fucking having taste. Let's go with a third one. We'll go to Modello to mix up the corona.

SPEAKER_04 39:14

It's crazy that I opted to um.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

Sorry. What did you opt to do? Op to do to get the taste of corona out of my mouth. I was like, you know what would taste better than this?

SPEAKER_04 39:32

Fruity pebbles. Oh.

SPEAKER_19 39:34

Right. Sprite.

SPEAKER_04 39:36

Fruity pebbles. Maybe. Next episode, we're just gonna have top five cereals.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

Ooh, I want to do that so bad.

SPEAKER_04 39:49

A lot of milk. I have to go take a ten foot long shit in the middle.

SPEAKER_02 39:55

Take one of them gay shits.

SPEAKER_03 39:59

All right.

SPEAKER_04 40:07

See to me a modello tastes like a corona. But dialed back. Yeah, better. Yeah, yeah. Better. That that overpowering corona flavor is dialed back and it makes it more enjoyable.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

Um when's the last time you dreamed?

SPEAKER_04 40:32

Yeah, definitely dial back.

SPEAKER_02 40:35

Easy to drink, huh? Yeah, very easy. Uh last time I dreamed, I would say, was um about lunchtime. Thought you didn't sleep at work, dog. Nah, that was just a jokey joke.

SPEAKER_03 40:53

Right.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

Um, but no, uh, last night.

SPEAKER_03 40:56

Yeah, what'd you dream about?

SPEAKER_02 40:58

I don't remember. Do you dream in color? Or black and white? You color, you don't? I think they say most people dream in black and white. I don't think that's a thing. Yeah. We're not dogs. Let's find out.

SPEAKER_03 41:13

Uh how's it?

SPEAKER_02 41:17

Do people dream? Dream and color? Color.

SPEAKER_03 41:23

Or black. Black. White and white. Google A says most people dream in color. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

But about 12%. What the fuck? Dream in black and white. So you're part of the 12%. Oh, me? No.

SPEAKER_03 41:45

I dream in color. I just thought about the Jay-Z song where he's like, My daughter's blue. I dream in color. I thought it was like something significant.

SPEAKER_02 41:56

You don't do you ever remember your dreams? Yeah. Just not last night. Yeah, not last night.

SPEAKER_04 42:01

Like I've got this one where like and I keep remembering it and I keep thinking about it throughout the days. Because I had this dream probably a week ago. About a week ago.

SPEAKER_02 42:12

Um about a week ago. Week ago. But uh, and it was such a weird dream that it's like not even that exciting. But um, I don't know, I just had like a nice house and I remember the house, and I was about to board a plane. I was taking a train to the airport. Okay. Met up with I in the dream? No. But me and my what the fuck, dude? I'm not in your fucking dream? Not that one. Um it's insane. But it was like me and my family were going on a uh on a trip. Bro, I'm more important than your family. At least someone on the same fucking tier. We were gonna go uh I wasn't with your family. You know what? You were there. I was the conductor. No. Choo choo! I didn't make it gay. No, that's just how I say choo-choo. Oh, okay, got it. But yeah, no, um, and then we went on the super long flight. That was my dream. I've been dreaming a lot lately about gig, big booty Latinas. So big old fat gangster booties.

SPEAKER_04 43:34

Speaking of beautiful Latinas.

SPEAKER_02 43:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:43

Speaking you done over there?

SPEAKER_03 43:47

Yeah, I think so.

Gamer Tags, Names, And Online Culture

SPEAKER_02 43:51

Don't do that. Speaking of beautiful Latinas. That's right. I all of them. Yes, all of them. Um I am pissed off that uh we were playing a hockey match the other night. Right. On Xbox. On Xbox, and apparently my name, Winston Sesams, is offensive, but some dude's name was I Love Latina's feet. Yeah, there's a bunch of there's a bunch. It's my first day. Um no, it's it what is this for?

SPEAKER_03 44:33

The notch.

SPEAKER_02 44:37

For your pinky. Alright, my bad. Droad test them again. No, um, yeah, my bad. Um no, it's so wild how many people's names are fucked up on there. Yeah, uh, we also played with a guy named Charlie Kirk. Yep, and we played with a team called the Ice Patrol. Yes, the Ice Patrol. Yep. Spelled I-C-E. How else would you fucking spell it? Uh E-Y E C E. Ice. You're gonna be faded, dog. All right, I'm gonna try to get this one to you. Watch the watch the keyboard you're about to. I'm not gonna hit the fucking keyboard.

SPEAKER_19 45:21

Alright.

SPEAKER_02 45:24

Damn. Piece of fucking shit. I'd be horrible at shuffleboard. You'd be horrible as a bartender and be like, you need a beer down there? Come get it.

SPEAKER_03 45:37

Hey, it's a long ass fucking thing. I'm like, I'll just get up, hand it to me next time.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

This is a Corona light. Corona light. So it should be like the Corona. The lighter. The lighter. Still feels about the same weight.

SPEAKER_03 45:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:05

Okay. This tastes like it's more in like lined up with the uh original modello.

SPEAKER_02 46:15

Um it's gonna be hard. That's what she said. And for you, that's what he said.

SPEAKER_03 46:29

Yeah, so anyways, um I mean, so I'm almost 40. Yeah, we know. But like here lately, my sexual drive has been insane. Good for you. Like, dude, like I'm talking about all day, every day. I'm just like, what's good with it? You know what I mean? Like my dreams are. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 46:53

I'm tired of you asking me that.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

No. No. I'm I'm not gonna ever say yes. I've never asked him that. If I were to ask a man, it wouldn't be Winston. First of all, that's fucked. Well, it's fucked. It's fine. It's weird that you think it's fucked. You should probably be like, good.

SPEAKER_03 47:18

So there's that. For you being upset that I'm not in gay love with you. I'm good. Um, yeah, no, I don't dream regular dreams. It's all just penetration. What? With a woman. Oh shit, dog. Um anything I've been doing with you?

SPEAKER_02 47:46

Um, actually. No. I mean, excuse me. Skissy. Um no, I mean, I just worked the last I worked through the weekend and all week, and I actually didn't call out a single day. Yeah, I know. On time? One day. I mean, no, you were only on time one day. No, no, no, no, no. He started this episode with I've worked 14 days straight. Been late, all of them except for one. No, no, no. Other way around. I was only late one day. Okay. Um, how late? Like an hour. Damn. Hey, it was a Saturday. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your body's used to sleeping in. Right. I was like, I woke up, I was like, I have fucking work.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

I hate waking up on a Saturday thinking you have to work and it's like 8 a.m.

House Party Cringe Clips And “Hat Toss King”

SPEAKER_02 48:37

You're like, oh wait, no, no, I'm off. I'm off. That's right. Yeah. I'm off for three days. Yeah, dude. Um I had that opportunity as well. Right, right, right. And uh, because uh we were told that we have uh liberal leave, and I told him I was like, I'm more of a conservative. But um Sounds right. Dad would love that. I don't know. I'm if we are gonna talk about that. I'm gonna say, yeah, we're not, but I I will say that I'm middle of the fence. Just sitting on a pole, right? Not sitting on the pole. I said middle of the fence. I know, sitting on a pole on the fence. I I see good and bad in both, but mostly bad. In both? Yeah, mostly bad in both. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 49:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:22

I think we need something new around here. We need a new sheriff in town. That's talking about both parties, like folk parties. We need a new sheriff. Right. We need a whole new party. Anywho. That was insane. Yeah, anyway.

SPEAKER_04 49:35

Um, but dude, I hate the way it's I hate the way this is uh lining up because I don't want to take this, I wanted to take this three-day weekend to do a whole bunch of editing and shit like that. Right. And then I wanted to take my next uh because it's not just this Monday, it's also next Friday.

SPEAKER_02 49:51

They were like, yeah, you can take it off Friday if you want. Um because next Friday is gonna lead into another three-day weekend. Wow, what's on that Monday? Nothing. It it they made it up. Oh, the Friday would be a three-day week. Exactly. So this Friday coming up? Yeah. No, you could only work three days. That's a possibility. Right. So I wanted to take both the Monday and the Friday off because next Friday I was gonna go down to the farm and do some stuff. But uh move some hay and some cows, base some cows, bill some cows. But trying to get to the finish of this so I can stop talking about it. Um my overtime paycheck, where I just worked all this overtime and shit, and next week is all on one check. So if I if I don't work Monday and Friday, the fuck that I work the overtime for. To be off Monday and Friday. I would take the money. Damn right, you will. I taught you well. So you didn't really teach me shit. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Money over bitches. I taught you that.

SPEAKER_03 50:58

Yeah, but I always And you saw you used to always tell me bomb. Bitches over money. Yeah. You said that to me once. I don't think I did. He's a bomb, and I was like, what? And then you had to explain it to me.

SPEAKER_02 51:13

Um, hold up, hold up. He came. I did.

SPEAKER_03 51:26

Holy shit. Um, what's been new with me? Thanks for asking.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

Um we hadn't got no fuck you. We haven't gotten to that part yet. Oh, what? I was gonna ask you, but now you want to be a dick about it. Um what's good with me? Oh, well, thanks for asking. Right. I wasn't finished. I wasn't finished talking about me. I want to talk about me. I want to talk about number one. I want to think what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see.

SPEAKER_06 51:54

I want to talk about you usually, but occasionally.

SPEAKER_10 51:59

I want to talk about me.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

That was good. Yeah, that was probably wasn't. No. Um sorry for y'all speakers. So, what's been up with you, bro? Oh, with me.

SPEAKER_03 52:20

Um what's been up with me? Um, just been working. Yeah. Playing a little bit of NHL. Yeah, I've been doing that. Got some sick kids at the house.

SPEAKER_02 52:29

I don't have that.

SPEAKER_03 52:30

Yeah. Uh cat though. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, it's about me. Yeah. Yeah. We already talked about you. Should have brought that up in your segment.

SPEAKER_05 52:45

All right, go on.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

Um, no, the kid's been sick. Drug testing. I mean, I've been doing shit, dog. Same shit as usual. Got a volleyball tournament this weekend, so that's pretty fire.

unknown 52:59

Fire, fire.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

You want this one? Give me a second. Might be able to get it to you. I've been messing with a trajectory in my head. What? I've been messing with trajectory in my head. Okay. I think I can make it. I gotta give it more fucking power.

SPEAKER_04 53:17

Yes, towards the lower center of gravity so it doesn't topple over.

SPEAKER_03 53:20

Yeah, you ready? Hold on. Come in and label first. Straight to your hand.

SPEAKER_02 53:29

Oh, same place as before. You should do nothing different.

SPEAKER_03 53:34

I know.

SPEAKER_02 53:35

I thought that I threw it way harder.

SPEAKER_04 53:37

I was waiting for that bitch to just fucking.

SPEAKER_03 53:39

I know. I'm so scared of that, and it fucks up our$900 fucking equipment.$1,000 equipment.

SPEAKER_02 53:44

Yeah, there's a lot of money over here. Um Yeah, anyway.

SPEAKER_03 53:49

Oh, I gotta turn it back on. Yeah, we're good. Oh yeah, we're good. We're good, baby. Oh yeah. Um, I ain't just shit up. Okay. Just been working fucking working my dick off, dude. Damn. Yeah. But you know, money over bitches. That's right, mop. Mop. Said a bomb.

SPEAKER_19 54:24

That's a good beer.

SPEAKER_04 54:25

That's good.

SPEAKER_19 54:26

That's a good beer.

SPEAKER_02 54:27

Alright, so um. You wanna do the top five? You wanna watch a video? I wanna yeah, I wanna do both of those. I wanna do all of those. Right.

Weight Loss Extremes And Late-Night Snacks

SPEAKER_03 54:37

Is it all on the table or just do I have to pick one? Alright, let me see what I got for you.

SPEAKER_02 54:41

Um, I like this one. Okay. Uh reminds me of some friends we used to have. Uh Weepy and uh Wagan? No, no, no. Weepy and uh Wetache and Slaughter.

SPEAKER_03 54:58

Potter.

SPEAKER_08 55:05

House party! We're so fair, bro. Go grab me another Red Bull and try and get this going. Dude, I have with you done dudes already. Gosh. Well, I mean, you gotta slow down, dude. No, we ain't slowing down, bro. It's hard to keep up with this guy. Dude, slow down.

SPEAKER_04 55:27

How do people how do people film shit like this? Like, I'm sure we have cringy shit. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 55:35

I'm sure we have cringy shit that people are like, Yeah, remember the first video when we talked to like the deep voices? Oh yeah. I hate watching that. Yeah, I do too. What's up, everybody? I was like, delete it. Oh, delete it. Right. But I mean, this right here is a different level. And how how do you how do you make a video like this and be like, oh, I can't keep up with this guy?

SPEAKER_11 55:57

You want to have another Red Bull? I've already had two Mountain Dews. We're going crazy.

SPEAKER_03 56:04

Well, so they're children, I think.

unknown 56:06

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 56:07

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 56:07

The one in the back is fucking massive. So, like, kids can't be massive, dog. Not like that. Pretty sure he has a full beard. I can't tell. Hold on, hold on. Is that a giant fucking Connect 4 in their living room? Yeah. No, they're getting faded, dog. That's right. They're having a house party. They are having a house party. Um, but I I just want to know like how you how you post this shit. A lot of our clips that we that we show on here, I'm like, how how in the actual fuck did you think that that was like good to post? These are my R's? Especially the hat toss king. Oh yeah. I didn't even I don't even have nothing. I know I saw you don't have no videos from this week, but that fucking fool. Yeah. What a fucking hat toss king.

SPEAKER_11 56:59

Oh, I can toss my head in the air and catch it on my head. Look at me, I'm the fucking king. That's the fucking king. Look at me. That's good. Yeah, I do a little meth here and yeah, and I do some hot dog challenges, but you know what? Let me toss my head up and catch it on my head.

SPEAKER_03 57:16

Fuck you. Bro, hey, they be doing food challenges and they don't even be challenges.

SPEAKER_02 57:21

Hot cup soup noodle.

SPEAKER_06 57:27

He always be begging on his girl, too.

SPEAKER_02 57:29

She's like, he's like, you ain't gotta say all that shit, bitch.

SPEAKER_03 57:32

This is good. I'll give it a seven.

SPEAKER_02 57:35

She made you the chicken salad with the raisins on it and everything. Her fucking makeup, she just looks she smeared sour cream on her eyes. I know. Yeah, you don't no fucking hat sauce king. My bitch loves sour cream on her eyes.

SPEAKER_03 57:47

Remember the one that he did, and uh he said she was the hat's king too instead of queen, and he called her a king, and she kept trying to do it.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

He's like, so close, but no cigar. So close and no cigar. And he's like, Come on, what are we doing? Right. A thousand tries later. He's like, Finally, there we go. She did it. Finally, fucking bunch of fucking fools. Yeah, the head source king. I'm the head source king. Throw my hat in the air and I catch it. Is mine pretty good? It's all right. I'm the head source king. I throw my head in the air in the kitchen. I'm the head source king. I throw my head up in the air and I catch it on my head. I'm the head source king. That sounds like he's retarded. Bro, but he he really just be messing around a lot. Yeah, that's all they do. They just mess around. And one of his things, he was like, we ain't got no kitchen table.

SPEAKER_03 58:44

Be eating the bedroom. And I was like, that's not a flex, homie. I did see a video of them where they were like, um, some dudes were like, oh, toss your hat in air and catch it. And they were just laughing at him, dog. He thought he was the man, and they were making fun of him like we are. I actually liked him. I thought he put out some pretty decent content. And uh matter of fact, I'm gonna set it up. Boxing match.

Melatonin, Sleep Apnea, And Weed Vs Alcohol

SPEAKER_02 59:09

Winston versus the hat toss king. I'm gonna toss my fist up and drop him on your head. Right. He's gonna drink a case of Bud Light and fucking head open. Go back to my Bud Light days, baby. Back to the Bud Light days, baby. If you had to box him, how long would you last? About five seconds. Yeah. Out of breath. Right. But he's got that meth energy. I know, dog.

SPEAKER_10 59:34

So he'd be like, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 59:38

So my goal this year is to box a meth head.

SPEAKER_03 59:42

No. That's funny though. No, uh, my one thing that I want to do is uh as for us as a podcast, I want to go out of town and interview some people, like have guests on the podcast, but like out of town.

SPEAKER_02 59:54

The homeless? Just interview the homeless? No, no, we're definitely gonna do documents. How's your living situation? We're definitely gonna do documents I don't have a house. Come into my box. No. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:05

I'll stand over here.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

Um, no, but I want to do something like uh oh, hold up. But we could have gone and saw him and did someone in New York. Right. Old stomping. Maybe we still can. Uh what if we did what if we did the homeless and they're like, come into my box, and we were like, we're gonna change your life around, and we do like one of those home renovation shows, and we just give them a refrigerator. A new box, a new box, like a refrigerator box. Like you started off with a box made for ramen noodles, and now you've got one from a fucking Samsung refrigerator. Move that dumpster. And we move the dumpster out of the way, and it's a new box, and then like, oh my god, you guys have changed my life. I'm not co-sided on this. Dude, this is great. It's not. It's a good sketch. This might make it on HGTV or whatever TLC. I think they did it on TLC. Or it'll make it on Comedy Central. Move that dumpster. I wish that we could shoot skits.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:07

I wish I knew how.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:09

Film it. Yeah, but we gotta find like somebody to play a homeless person. Or we pay a homeless. We can give somebody$20 by a we can go outside. You're homeless. To my neighbors. We're gonna make a joke about you. We can go to my neighbors. Hey, I live down in this apartment. Uh we've been the neighbors for a while. Would you mind being a crackhead? I already am.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:30

Alright, well, can you just be yourself on camera?

SPEAKER_19 1:01:33

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:34

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:39

I got a little buzz.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:43

I don't.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:44

There's no way you don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:47

How far would you go to lose weight? Um, I wouldn't sell my soul because yeah, I'm not trying to go to hell.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:58

If if somebody was like, hey, if you drink a shot of raccoon blood every day, absolutely. You'll you'll I didn't even tell you how many pounds. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:07

Alright, each gerbil you eat is a pound. How many gerbils would you eat? All of them. So you just be disappeared? I mean, until I get down. Like, if I need to lose 100 pounds, I'm gonna eat 100 gerbils. Probably one day.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:21

In five minutes, would you cook them or five minutes?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:23

What if you couldn't cook them? You had to eat them raw. Yeah. Alive. It's difficult. I do it though. Gotta start start with the head. So nothing is off the table. I don't know, bro. Like I hate weight. I hate weight. I hate to wait too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:38

And um, you know, if there is putting in the work is hard, both mentally and physically. Yeah. Trying to get yourself out of the deep hole that you're in mentally and trying to get up and especially when you love brownies, fucking ice cream.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:52

Yeah, I was yeah. That's my I could I eat good all day. Bulldogs, chicken salad, fucking you just had a brownie a few minutes ago. No, brownies, I've been eating honey buns, iced honey. I had honey bun a day. Did you know? Hold up. Did you know that Wonderbread makes honey buns? I I'll be honest, you made this one I didn't know. But when I was at the end of the day, I literally just asked you this the other day. Wonderbred? Yes, on the podcast. Alright, well, I just bought one yesterday and I fucking ate it today. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, the Wonder Bread honey bun. Yeah, because we're talking about uh the honey buns wrapped in bacon. Okay. And I was like, You ever had a wonder bread honey bun? You said yeah. Oh, yeah, no, I've never had it.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:36

So you lied to me?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:37

Maybe I didn't hear what you said. So this podcast is just a lie now. No, it's not a lie. We're all we're all truth and unfiltered here. I don't know what the that's not a violin. What was that? Is that a violin? All right. Um, I'm gonna let you take over for a second. Uh or we can take a piss break either way, but I'm about to fucking piss myself from all these uh samples. How do you want to do this? Yeah, just take a little piss break. All right, I'll be right back. Oh, I'll just stay here. Yeah, just go to a break, man. Both of us? Yeah, together.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:49

Okay, we're back.

Bathroom Fails, Pets, And Midnight Chaos

SPEAKER_02 1:04:50

That's right, everybody. I'm all pissed up and ready to go for the next five minutes before I have to fucking piss again from all these fucking beers. It's been a while since you drank just straight up beer, huh? Yeah, dude, it really has. I normally stick to uh like some Mountain Hard Seltzers or some of these little Jack Daniels things, mainly because they have high well, this one isn't super high. This is like a five percent, but this Jack Daniels is an eight percent. I'll drink a couple of those. Be toasty. Then one of those, be feeling fine, and I'll stay up till nine. So nine p.m. Yeah. Yeah. No, more like fucking 12 in the morning, and then try and sleep for four hours. Right. But not on not on work nights though. Dude, yeah. Uh this is this last work week was the last was the first work week in a very long time that I just like didn't have the urge or the desire to like drink. Like Hunter was over. Uh oh, Hunter came over. No, let me finish. Okay. Hunter was over a few weeks ago when we filmed that one episode that wasn't released yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he brought a case of Coronas. Yeah. I haven't touched a single one. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you don't like Corona. It's still, but like But if it was like Mountain Dew Celtons? No, no. But like here's the thing. It's there. And if I'm in the mood to just get fucking hammered, I will drink every single one of those. But and that that feeling hasn't shown up. Yeah. So, yeah. The whatever is out of that box is the Corona's that he drank. Okay. Yeah. I'm growing up. Alright. Feast your eyes over here.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:31

Uh let me see what I want to show you. Let's go with this one.

SPEAKER_17 1:06:35

Well, how y'all doing? I'm on lunch break. I'm on lunch break, as you can see. Fresh jar of peanut butter. Fresh jar. I've been fucking it up. Fucking it up.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:49

This is a challenge.

SPEAKER_17 1:06:51

You put a big old gollop in your mouth, and then you get the water and you just swallow that big gollop you put in your mouth.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:57

I think it's dollop. Is it gollop or dollop?

SPEAKER_17 1:07:00

Um I think they're both separate things, but. It's not hard. You're just making shit hard. Get your protein in, get your calories in. You know how much peanut butter my I've just consumed?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:12

I don't like this. Why is it?

SPEAKER_17 1:07:23

It's not, it's not hard. It's very easy. Get your calories in, get your protein in. This jar of peanut butter was fresh when I opened it. We we're talking a fourth of it. Gone! We're talking a fourth of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:36

Okay, so you want to know why he looks fit?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:40

It's not because of peanut butter. He's a crack. No, it's Adderall. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's Adderall. That's how I looked when I was on Adderall.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:50

That small?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:52

Yeah. No, you look like that in the face. Well, that small, Winston. Stomach was uh substantially smaller than it is now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was substantially smaller a year ago. I don't know, about a year ago. Maybe two. Um yeah, no, um that is Adderall. No, you need to get your protein up. I'm good. I'm not gonna fucking spoonful a fistful of goddamn peanut butter and a tablespoon of water. Well, he's a I will dog, I have sleep apnea, I'll die. Oh, speaking of sleep apnea. Go ahead. We got any sad music?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:41

Any violin music?

SPEAKER_02 1:08:42

Any um anything sad? Because it's the end of an era for me.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:49

Nothing.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:50

That's okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:51

Um sad makes me feel sweet.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:06

I don't. Okay. Um do a beat for me. A sad beat. No, um, Hannah informed me that I can no longer take melatonin.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:22

Really? Because it's a health risk. Oh my goodness. Because um people that may have sleep apnea. Right. If they take melatonin, the whole thing of sleep apnea is that um your body stops breathing. Huh? Your body stops breathing. Yeah, but your throat collapses. Your throat's a muscle. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:45

Melatonin helps muscles relax. Yes. So it's a sad day in the news, in the world. Well, the news. There's and it's a sad day for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:58

I'm off the melatonin, everybody. He's off the melatonin, everybody.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:02

Thank you.

Viral “Succulent Chinese Meal” And More Clips

SPEAKER_02 1:10:03

I'm gonna give it up. You might be sad, but I'm gonna give it up because this is one thing I've been preaching. Anytime I tell you that, like, hey, bro, I had some trouble sleeping. Yeah, I was late to work, I couldn't wake up this morning, this, that, and the third. You were like, bro, you need to start taking that melatonin. You start to take that toning, baby. You need that tonin't. And I said, you know what? I'm scared of it because I have sleep apnea. And he was like, You just being gay. And I was like, You like, you'd be a little bitch. There you go. Yeah, and I was like, No, bro, it's it's a real thing. And you're like, man, for that I'm not a pussy. Um, but I have been concerned about you every night, and I have prayed for I pray for you every night. Like, the tonin doesn't take you and then try to stay awake or drink some alcohol with it. No, I won't do that, but I will take some benadryl and try and stay awake. That sounds I might have to change the Benadryl. Nope. How often can you do Benadryl? Every night? I didn't mean to open up this Pandora's box. Um you can't.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:05

If y'all if y'all know something that I can take every day to help me feel relaxed and insane, huh? Weed. Yeah, but last time my job drug tested me and I don't feel like dealing with that shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:20

Right. Could probably fuck with some CBD, maybe. I don't know, dude. I I fucking hate this shit. Uh we should treat it just like these beers right here. Right. Because I can get completely inebriated here at my house. Yep. Wake up tomorrow, go to work, uh-huh, and do everything safely and coherently. Yep. Um, you can do all you can also do the same thing with uh cocaine. Okay, I'm not going that far. Oh. I was just gonna say marijuana, CBD, any of those things. I can do the same thing. I can Delta. And not only that, I can get to the point to where like I'm not completely inebriated like I am with alcohol. Right. I actually have more control over my body and my physical movements.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:02

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:02

Uh, but I still feel better and still go to work the next day, completely coherent, completely able to do my job 100% safely. And marijuana is just treated like a uh the devil's lettuce, literally. Yeah. So I don't know. It's fucked up. I hope the world changes soon in my lifetime. I don't see myself having a job where I can do it legally at this point.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:28

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:30

So I do hope that like something fucking changes so where I can do that instead of fucking drinking goddamn all these beers.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:41

Because I would much rather sit here and get high on the podcast than drink. That'd be cool. Oh, that would be so awesome. Yeah. That would I I would it would be so much better. So much better. And and not only just like we could eat like pot brownies. Yeah, edibles would be cool. Uh, but just like melatonin weed. I like melatonin. You really do. It's I just bought a brand new bottle too. It's weird how you're like, Should I just think all of it at one time? No. It's weird how you're like almost addicted to melatonin. No, I am. And it's weird because it's a natural turkey. It's a natural substance your body produces. I love my body. Right, right. I love melatonin. Right. Um, but no, dude, it would be so so nice to just, you know, instead of drinking all of this fucking liquid, to just have a nice little fucking blunt.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:43

Bro, if I get pulled over on the way home, because I haven't I didn't drink that much. I smell like straight beer. Well, yeah. You spit it everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:51

That never happened. Something I did last night. What'd you do last night? You spit it everywhere? Dog.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:02

I woke up in the bathroom already, pissing.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:06

Right? Okay. Didn't lift the toilet seat up. Oh, Hannah was probably pissed. Well, I cleaned it up. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:14

Not like I slept walking there, I guess, or I don't know if I can know, but all I felt was like piss hitting my legs, bouncing off, and I was like, what the fuck, dude? And I thought I was like missing the toilet, so I like aimed better, and I was like, what the fuck? And I reached down and lid was just down.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:33

That's fucking insane, dude. Oh yeah. Have you ever done anything like that? Uh I woke up pissed myself. Dude, I woke up last night in the middle of the night and I had to piss so fucking bad. Like it it had the piss that I had to have had to happen right now. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:51

And the way I've got my bed is uh so like the bed is against the wall, and so you had the wall, then me, and then Slurpee. Slurpee curled up between me and the exit. Right. And so I woke up and I was like, I have to fucking piss. And I very quickly, this all happened in the span of five seconds. Slurpee, get up, get up, move, move, and she's just like, she gets up and she's like, What the fuck is going on?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:21

She's slowly getting up. I fucking threw her. So I fucking threw my cat last night for the very first time. Just throwing pussy around, bro. And um, yeah, no, I I had to get her out of there because I didn't want to roll over her and kill her. Right. Um call that a uh call that a steamroller. A meow ma side. Um but no, I didn't I didn't want Slurpee to get injured, so I threw her. And uh Yeah, dude, I had to fucking run to the bathroom and piss. Pick the seat up. Yeah, I mean the seat was up at that point anyway. Yeah, see, I live with a woman. Uh yeah. I don't know. And so you gotta close, you gotta you gotta close that seat, baby. Yeah, no, I got a cat. She's got her own bathroom. Right. Right. Yeah. Right. So you know you can train cats to use the toilet. Have you thought about doing that with uh fucking Landy boots since he is the size of a human? Right. Uh nah. I don't like the cats. I wouldn't want that. Imagine I go in the bathroom, they're on. I'm like, get the fuck off. What if I'd have pissed on them? Bro, it would have been like fucking uh what was that, meet the parents? You remember that movie? Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:34

Where the cat was fucking shitting in the toilet?

SPEAKER_02 1:16:36

Yeah. Binx. Binxy.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:39

Was it Binx? Binksy? Yeah. Something like that, yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:43

I had a cat like that one time. Her name was Snuggles.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:47

Yo, check this video out.

SPEAKER_14 1:16:50

Guys, want to come on and talk to me, please? Yeah, we need to talk to you real quick. Step around the front door for me. Walk up. Grab them.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:06

Gone.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:07

Watch them. Bring them up. Bad idea, man. That's a bad idea. That's a bad idea. That's a bad idea.

SPEAKER_11 1:17:16

It was like cockroach and the light on them. Right.

SPEAKER_14 1:17:23

We leveled up now. Come out here right now. Come on here right now. I'm telling you right now, we're gonna be in some trouble. Come on here right now. Step outside the door right now. Come in here. Step outside right now. Step outside right now.

SPEAKER_15 1:17:43

Walk to the door.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:44

And the other dude's already at home.

SPEAKER_15 1:17:47

Walk to the door. You're gonna walk to the door.

SPEAKER_10 1:18:02

Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:06

You know, left the cameraman.

SPEAKER_14 1:18:09

Gonzo? Drop my radio. It's right back there in the room. You guys want to come up?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:16

Now w what were they in trouble? Mm-hmm. Okay. I didn't investigate. I don't know if there's any uh side story to this as to what they were uh what's the word I'm looking for? Um investigate it. No. Accused. No. Prosecute it. No. What's the um what they were? Oh yeah. I'm fucking drunk, dude. Ask chat GPT what you're thinking about. I don't care. Um yeah, what they were um possibly in trouble for. Is that what you were thinking of? No. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:55

Uh yeah, I have no clue.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:58

Allegedly. Allegedly.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:00

Allegedly. Good job, man. Thank you. Good job.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:03

I have no clue though. Okay. Didn't read into it. Should have. Right, yeah. I didn't know if it was an ice thing or what? Well, they were white, I think. I saw shit. Oh were they? I don't think so. Okay. I don't know. It seemed like they were just enjoying a succulent Chinese dinner. Right. I don't know if you remember that callback from succulent Chinese meal. That dude in England. Huh? That dude in England that he got he got falsely accused of something and he got arrested while he was outside eating, and he as he was being arrested, he was put being put in the car. He's like, I'm being arrested while enjoying a nice succulent Chinese meal. Bro, it's a look it up. That's a classic. Where'd I look it up at? Uh I just type in which brand do you want?

SPEAKER_01 1:20:03

Oh, bitch. I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:11

All right, now I alright. Hold on. I gotta remember what clip this is so I can put it in here. Just favorite it. Like? Favorite. Alright, cool. Now I gotta put that in here. Type in succulent Chinese meal.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:31

S U C C U L A N T.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:39

Chinese.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:44

Uh click the middle one where you see like the white.

SPEAKER_16 1:20:52

Gentlemen.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:28

I want to receive my limpiness.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:32

Oh uh, I don't see the download thing. Um just leave that tab right there. Sw switch to a different tab.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:41

That's funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:42

I've never seen that video before. Dude, yeah, that's a classic. Um it looked like it. Definitely was. Um was he arrested for? I don't remember, but uh they the cops are like mistaking him for somebody else or some shit like that. That's a nice headlock. Yeah, I can see you've taught your you've been uh doing your judo well. He touched my penis? This is the one who touched my penis? Are you waiting to receive my limp penis? Oh my god. What is the charge? Enjoying a succulent Chinese meal.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:12

This is motherfuckers on um when they be commenting on shit.

Stand-Up Ambitions, Future Guests, And Wrap

SPEAKER_02 1:22:32

And uh the chihuahua was insane to begin with. Right. Uh before I met her, um whenever I got there, the the Chihuahua had a bobtail. And the story was that the Chihuahua A bobtail? Yeah, you know, just like a little bobtail. Oh. Uh-huh. Actually, it wasn't even a bobtail. There was no tail. Okay. Um, but uh the story was that the chihuahua just decided to start chewing its fucking tail off. It's insane. Yeah. And uh cannibalism. Yeah, exactly. So all once I heard this story, I was like, alright, this bitch is crazy. Yeah. Just like its mom. Right. And do you remember how have you ever gotten the uh grilled cheese? What was it? The grilled cheese burrito from Taco Bell.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:27

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:28

It's a big ass fucking burrito. Yeah. That like that burrito is fucking insanely huge. Yeah. Pretty big burrito. So one night after being hungover, we ordered some Taco Bell, and I one of the things I got was a grilled cheese burrito. And I laid it under my pillow because I wanted to go piss. Kind of like right now? Yeah, let's just say right now. And uh so I went to go piss, and when I came back, the Chihuahua had ate that entire ginormous grilled cheese burrito. The burrito was bigger than the fucking dog. In like five minutes? It wasn't five minutes, it was like Jesus. Dude, it was like three. Like the burrito was bigger than the fucking dog. Yeah. And I was so fucking angry. Yeah, I bet.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:26

I hate when pets eat anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:27

The fucking cats will fucking jump over the table and try to eat my food, and I'll fucking spray them with so much fucking water. That's insane. Slurpee never does. Slurpee doesn't like human food. Well, Landy doesn't like the human food either. It's just fig. Oh yeah. Fig mutton. Well, fig also is a demon, so yeah. Um I agree. But you know, um, yeah, dude, I was fucking pissed. Like I I was hungover me was needed that burgida.

SPEAKER_19 1:24:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:55

And I couldn't get it because the fucking dog ate it. The dog. Watch me toss this dog in the air and catch it on my head. You wanna go to the bathroom?

SPEAKER_03 1:25:07

Are you good?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:08

Yeah, you want to stay here real quick or you wanna? Yeah, just um yeah, just go to the bathroom. It's fine. I'll be back lucky split.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:19

Yeah. Splickety lit. Yeah, so uh one thing we're gonna end up doing is um here soon. I don't know if y'all have ever heard of um uh Skankfest. The guys from Skankfest, Louis Gomez, Louis Gomez, um the other fucking guy. But they do a show called Story Wars. And I'm thinking about have we're thinking about having Hunter, me, Hunter, Hannah, Winston, and do like a story wars of our own. Kind of steal the idea, uh, keep points, you know, and maybe we'll have a little prize or something. And uh yeah, so basically what it is is we'll tell, you know, we'll have a little line like um uh I toss my hat in the air so I can get fans, and then we gotta guess who's fucking does that shit. And it's the meth head at this point, but so that sounds like something we're gonna fucking do, and that's gonna be pretty fucking dope. Also planning to go to Houston at some point to sit down with Dr. Do. And that's gonna be fucking dope as shit. Because I think we're gonna do that and probably do an episode in Austin as well. I think that would be fun as fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:30

Splickity lit. Splickety lit and my goddamn ankle split. Damn, what'd you do? Triple on nothing, dude. I'm trying to narrow down what makes my ankle act up. Well, um, no, I mean so the honey bun didn't help. Alright, yeah, cool. Um, but for real, like the uh the main cause of my ankle pain is from a motorcycle accident that happened four years ago, five years ago, I don't fucking remember. But uh I can go like three months and it'd be normal. Right. And then I'll go four months and it just act the fuck up. And just trying to sit down, just then like I tweaked it a little bit and it hit one of those nerves or something. I was like, Damn. Yeah, I don't know. Last time the doctor said, Yeah, we've got two options for you. We can either do an ankle replacement or we can fuse your fucking ankle. I don't want either of those. Right. You know, all right, well, have fun enjoying the being in pain, bitch. Can't you can probably do some physical therapy. I I'm uh legit when Hannah finishes school, we should get her to do that shit. Yeah, I mean, you know, I did ask her the question on the podcast about doing the massage or whatever, if there was an actual ankle massage. Yeah. And uh, dude, like sometimes I feel like when I'm doing mobility. Yeah. So yeah, uh, if she's cool with it, yeah, I'll definitely reach out to her and see if she wanted to pay her and uh she could smell where your feet were sitting. Right. Uh hey, let's um let's do these beers. Yeah. Um, all right. So number one for No, no, that's not how we fucking do it. Every dude, we've done top five so many fucking times. How I don't understand how you don't get it. Well, this time I already have my fucking list. Alright, come on. Number five is first, okay? The top beer. Oh, that's not it.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:40

We're not doing the best. Oh, I'm tracking now.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:44

Yeah, we're good, baby. All right, let's try it again, drunky McDrunkerson.

SPEAKER_18 1:28:51

I'm not even drunk. Let me catch my head. Bro, I barely drank anything.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:55

Catch a hat in there. I got my headphones on, so it'll go get caught.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:59

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:00

Ready? Number five. Number five, Corona. Uh Corona.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:11

Yeah, I'm gonna agree with you there, Brian. Uh, Corona was definitely the bottom of the list.

SPEAKER_10 1:29:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:17

Uh never been a big fan of Corona. I will drink Corona. If I go to a party and there all there is is Corona, I'm drinking Corona. I've never ever liked Corona. I've always been a light person, so yeah. I I don't know what the taste is that I taste, but or what smell is. It's piss. No, it's not. It really is. It's literally piss. It's not, but whatever it is in Corona that is that smell that everyone's like, it smells like weed. I don't know what it is, but hops. Maybe. Maybe. But here's the thing. I like weed, but I don't like corona. I don't like my beer smelling like weed. I don't know. You know, you know what I'm saying? I wouldn't mind a weed beer though. They sell that. They do sell that. Remember that one time I brought that girl over to your place? That's what she was drinking. She was also doing meth. It wasn't meth. What is it? Kratom. So basically. I don't know. It literally pops up as fucking. Okay. It doesn't matter. Number two. Four. So we're alternating. Number four.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:28

You're first if you say a dickhead. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:30

See how hard it is? So for number four, I'm gonna go with the Corona Light. Mm-hmm. Yeah, Corona Light is uh my number four. Uh it still tastes like Corona. So it's a little lighter. Yeah, literally. It's like if you had a dial to crank up the intensity of Corona and you just dialed it back a little bit. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:51

They put less weed in it.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:52

Yeah. Yeah that's literally it. Number three. I'm going with modelo espacial. Which one was that? The regular? Yep, the regular. That's literally mine. Damn. Yeah. Because the modello especial tasted very similar to the corona light. Right, but lighter. But a little bit lighter. It was like Corona Ultra Light. Exactly. It was like a Corona Ultra Light. And it was very crisp, refreshing, and uh it wasn't as intense as either of the regular Coronas.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:39

I agree 100%. Alright. I also didn't like the Corona because that shit spilt all over me.

SPEAKER_04 1:31:46

Yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:48

Number two. We're gonna work on this one day. I forgot what number we were on. Is it number two? Number two. Number two. I'm going with the modello negro. I'm right there with you, bro. Yeah. That's the same one for me. Damn. Yeah. Because we've never had the same top five. Ever. I know. It's crazy. We're actually agreeing on something. Um because I already have my top one, and I'm pretty sure we all know what that is now that we've all narrated.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:18

Um because that one, I won't give all the details away just yet. But it was the best.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:26

But the modello negra, it was it was also crisp, refreshing, and it also felt more lean towards Adol Sekis. And yeah. I like that it was dark. Yeah, it was and it was also dark. It was like an amber. Right. And I I was not expecting that because I've I'll be honest, I've never had one of those before. No, me neither. That was my first time drinking one. And uh that'll be my new favorite. Yeah, like that's definitely now in my arsenal of beers to choose from when I go to the store. Number one. Um, no to surprise, no surprise to anybody. Dosekis. Double X. Dosekis double X. Yeah. Um The double. Yes. So yeah. Dose Ekis always been my favorite. My favorite way to drink a dosekis is with a lime. With a lime, but also in a draft mug with tahine around the rim.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:33

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:35

Yeah. Adding that tahine makes a dosekies muy bueno. Thank you for that. Thanks for that one. See? Okay. Um, yeah, no, I like it as well. I do like a draftosekies.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:56

When we were going to Buffalo Wild Wings, that's all I was getting, right? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:34:03

What?

SPEAKER_03 1:34:04

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:06

I was trying. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:10

Can't. Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna fucking lose our two Spanish people that listen. I don't think we have any of those. We don't. We have two. We're glad you're here. We have two. No ice here. No ice. We drink all our stuff cold from the refrigerator. You don't have to lie. I'll say frío.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:32

Me apologize.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:41

That's my Spanish accent. That was Asian. Oh. That was Asian as fuck. All right. Me apologize. Um oh my god, dude. How does my baby mom grandmama say it?

SPEAKER_06 1:34:53

Uh uh uh se dice uh sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:02

That's good. Um kind of the way you said sorry. Yeah, I know. That sounded Asian. Bro, you weren't there. I I cool. I'll stop. You weren't there, buddy. I'll stop. Going drink the drink right here. You got anything coming up? Anything you want to promote?

unknown 1:35:25

No.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:26

D'hut. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:27

I'm not shooting my Netflix special for another few years. Okay. Um looking forward to that. Yeah, I am too. Uh, we're trying to get the songs and everything ready and the comedy ready. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:40

I actually haven't started writing my routine at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:43

Yeah, you know what? I'm in the same boat. I think I have a good. I'll be honest, Netflix doesn't know I Netflix doesn't know I exist. Do you have do you have a set at all? Dude, no, everything that comes out of me comes out of me natural and it just comes out as it comes out. Yeah, just like my shits. Um you should do some fucking um improv. Yeah, I mean, sometimes my brain is working fast enough to do that, but I'll honestly, some people might attest to seeing this in some episodes, but like sometimes my brain isn't working fast enough to keep up with anything, you know. Yeah, and it all just depends on how I'm feeling and shit like that. And I've seen that. Yeah, I've seen that too because I because I'm me. Yeah, I um I think I think I might have a good five minutes.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:34

I don't know if it's good five minutes.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:35

Hannah doesn't like them.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:37

Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:37

I used to run a lot of my jokes by Mel, and Mel would kind of help me shape them. What is Mel up to? Don't know. We should fix that. You should fix that. We should fix that. I miss Mel. Mel's cool. Mel's cool. We should have Mel on the podcast for Black History Month. I would love to. I haven't talked to him in forever. Love the guy. That's how we He was my best friend. I'll invite him over and it'll be y'all's reunion in the middle of the podcast. Y'all won't even know what's happening. It'll also be Black History Month, and it'll be fucking Will he know that? A three-in-one, all in one, good to go. What intro song would you play for him? Same one. No, no, no. We're like, all right, and our guest today, and what song would you play? I know what I would play. What would you play? Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow. That was my wrestling uh song. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But our colors were not black and yellow.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:32

So why'd you pick that song? Wait, hold on.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:35

Was that our song? That was our song. What team was I on that was black and yellow? No, that was fucking when we were in the club.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:50

That was when we were in the club.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:52

No, no, no. That song came out while I was in high school. Maybe, but remember we played it a lot. Yeah, no, I do remember that, but there's also a team that I played for that played that.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:06

And I can't remember what it was.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:11

It might have been the motorcycle club. Probably. Um kind of missed that motorcycle club. Nope. Um, anyways, the um, yeah, I I want to do some stand-up.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:28

I keep saying it, I've been saying it for years, but yeah, I'm kind of honing my craft, and I think that I'm like I call you sometimes like, hey, listen to this.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:37

Right. And then I pretend to enjoy it and I freak laugh, and I'm like, that was really good, bro. You're gonna go somewhere sometime.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:43

Instead of you fucking being like, hey, why don't you try this instead? You just go, you're so funny. Yeah. I would like some actual feedback.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:52

So I'm scared to do that because when I do give you honest feedback, you're like, fuck you, you never believe in me, and you hang up, and then you get a call back later. It's like, I'm sorry, I was such a bitch earlier.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:02

Right. I was hungry and my period started.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:04

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:06

Yeah, so I don't know, bro. I think um maybe I'm not the one to give you the advice. You're right, I won't call you anymore. But I want you to. I won't. But I want you to. I'll reach out to Mel and start talking to him about comedy again. I think we should just have Mel on the podcast. Okay, set it up. Yeah. Oh wait, me? Don't you have his number? Mm-hmm. It's been a while.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:34

It's been a while. All right. Um I have to go.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:40

Yeah. Volleyball tournaments all weekend. All weekend, bro. It's supposed to snow tomorrow. There ain't gonna be no tournament. It's not supposed to snow tomorrow. I guarantee you we're gonna get some snow.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:53

I guarantee you, I don't give a fuck. I think because it's a local tournament, they're not gonna.

SPEAKER_13 1:40:50

Well we've been rambling, sharing our minds, talking about nothing, and all we can find. Winston and Brian, they're keeping it real. Just two good old boys with plenty to spill. So pull up a chair, we'll see you next time. Same old voice is a brand new rhyme. It's just talk, unfiltered and free. No scripts, no rules, just all a steel. From bad oil. The stories are told. We're leaving you now, but we'll be back. They've got the banches, they've got the charm. A little bit of mischief, but no one gets harmed. From the kitchen table to the open air They'll shoot the breeze, Cause they just don't care. So here's to the last, and here's to the fun. It's ain't goodbye, it's just to enough. It's just talk unfiltered and free. No scripts, no rules, just honesty. From big old eyes. Stories untold. We're leaving you now, but we'll be back Oh It's just talking unfiltered. Catch you down the road They've got the banter, they've got the charm A little bit of mischief, but no one gets harmed From the kitchen table to the open there'll shoot the friggs, Cause they just don't care. So here's to the laughs, and here's to the fun. They say goodbye, it's just to enough. It's just talk, unfiltered and free. No scripts, no rules, just honesty. From big oil The stories are told We're leaving you now, but we'll be back.